Saanams Mind

These words can be very very potent in damaging ones self confidence, self esteem because the premium is always on winning. Whatever you do,the pressure to win is so high, be it learning something new, doing something, the fear of losing is so much. No one wants to hear those dreaded few words..”You are a loser”.

Even deep down if you look at it and know since winning and losing are such relative terms and its not all that bad to lose sometimes, we still fear the term’ to lose’. We are in such a competitive world its always trying to win over someone else. This is not to glorify losing but sometimes losing is what keeps you grounded to the realities in life. Losing may make you gain so much more than winning all the time. It teaches you patience, teaches you endurance and gives you a strength to face the pain of losing.

To maintain a balance one has to both win some n lose some. That is how cosmically a cycle works. It helps cultivate a different perspective to looking at things . So maybe being called a loser is good at times as it teaches you to accept your defeat gracefully as well as embrace your achievements with deep humility.That is the secret of happy togetherness …no purpose, no outcome. Just an ‘otherness’ that enhances ‘togetherness’

So are you a loser? It definitely is good for you sometimes

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” Oscar Wilde
“ A cynic can chill and dishearten with a single word” Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have wondered about suspicious people, who always look for negative underlined meanings in everything one says and feel so sad for them as they have no faith in the words of another human. What makes people cynical in life? Is it life’s experiences , or is the world so bad that any good words are also viewed with suspicion as to what does that person want…Has life become such a business transaction that people look for what they gain even from simple words uttered. Is it hard to find people who mean what they say from their heart or is the world so bad that even when you mean something from your heart , another meaning is searched for within the words you utter….

I read somewhere…I’d change my cynical view of the world but its all I have left at the end of the month. Saddens me to think the simple joys of living, simple words of care, simple words said just to make someone happy all seem to come at a big price these days…you get paid back with suspicion, distrust, anger, sarcasm etc… saddens me to think there is hardly any goodness seen in anything one does its all about investment n returns .

Would this cynicism go away. It saddens me further that with each passing day I am more n more disappointed in human nature I am more n more saddened by the distrust..the suspicion and the lack of faith gets to me.:) Would things change???Or am I headed towards a world of cynicism?

“Life is not an easy matter… You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above weakness, above all kinds of perfidy and baseness.” Leon Trotsky

Just reading about Shiv Sena and their histronics I just wonder why we , the most evolved of all beings are so stuck up on superficial n silly differences we make between ourselves. I wonder why where we are born or how we pray stops us from thinking about being human beings first …made of flesh n blood like any other human ?Why does being from Madras or Maharashtra become more important than being an Indian?To me its like my hand saying I dont belong to the body … am just a hand. Why cant we be a part of the whole and work collectively towards the best interests of the country and the world as a whole …work towards being good human beings instead of looking at everything through peep holes and with such small minds?

Cant the Shiv Sena work towards removing poverty, illiteracy, hunger and violence and free the country from the humongous problems we are facing instead of making a big issue about sports, about people from other parts of India working in Mumbai etc.

Its a shame that educated and well read people act as if they dont understand what it is all about and go along. I applaud Shah Rukh for speaking his mind out! The people who have vested interests and want to be in the limelite and choosing all the crap reasons for being there , should be dealt with seriously by the Govt and put away or banned for messing the peace of the country and creating disparity in society.

Shouldnt they be seen as the extremists they are disrupting law and order in a country that boasts of Unity in diversity? I feel a firm stand should be taken on minds that work adversely and put a stop to the growth of our country.

I would like to salute not just Shahrukh for speaking up but also applaud the times of India Group for the Aman ki Asha , a brilliant initiative to build bridges rather than break them .

Watch this “Aman Ki Asha ”

Instead of moving forward we seem to have groups like Shiv Sena n the so called Ram Sena creating more issues than mending them. Shame on them , the bullies who think brute force can speak better than education n common sense and resort to that to make themselves heard.

I have spoken about silence before in some of the earlier entries and as I see it most of us fear the silence and fill it with noise. Oft late I have been contemplating on taking up Vipasana meditation… that is a camp for 10 days where you spend time with yourself and nature, without external interference of noise, music, phones,tv etc and where you dont talk with anyone. Its a way of spending time with just yourself and your thoughts, with nature …being alone. Its a way of just discovering more of yourself and coming to terms with yourself ,your circumstances and your feelings and making peace with them.

Being alone …when we actually find ourselves , it becomes a privilege and not a punishment. All the good work and your concentration comes from when you are alone. All your dreams dreamt when you are alone. Your best ideas come when you are alone,your solutions to all problems, your creations, your thoughts of wanting to make a better world come when you are alone . You see art and hear music better when you are alone.

Its the time when you drop all pretences and are completely true and bare naked with yourself.It is that time when you are in touch with your innerself. A time when you are most receptive to your innerself, a time when you connect to the higher energy that runs the world. A time when you speak to God and when God speaks to you.A place from which you absorb a lot , to fortify your spirit with grace, forgive your ineptness and fills you with a new resolve. A time when in silence, you can find the echo of your true intent.Its the highest place I think I can aspire to be .

Sharing your aloneness takes trust. It means revealing the innermost working of your heart and can expose you to the risk of indifference or the frustration of not being taken too seriously. It means risking the pain of not being heard when you want someone to listen to whats in your heart.It means allowing another ( it can be just one or two and definitely not more) to look into and know you as you are, without any masks, pretensions but as the the person you are ,with yourself. This is the heart of intimacy.Being intimate is being with another as you are with yourself .It means exposing yourself completely .It entails loving yourself and then loving another.

Knowing this is sacred and the risk you take sharing that ‘Sacred aloneness’ is a big risk , more so because if you are rejected for showing your true self because the other did not understand you, or just didn’t care enough to understand, you tend to recoil from the world, feeling your trust is misplaced, broken and the world is just empty or hollow .Though the thought scares me I wonder if I can learn to love being alone. Can I learn to share that aloneness with someone again? Maybe I can work first on learning to love being alone

Does the thought of being alone scare you and would you risk sharing that aloneness with someone?

Its really great to protect someone,  looking out for them, making them feel we are always there for them, making sure they do not make mistakes, and if they do cover for them. All of us would have done one or more of this for friends, relatives, people we care about at one point of our life. At the end of it we feel happy. But the question is should we? Lots of places, we get to decide what we do, and we decide based on our support system. Some do it based on the risk factor, some do it on instincts, some do it on advice and some they just do it. None of the above decision making methods can guarantee success, but some more than others have been proven more in the history, and again it boils down to a person’s nature to choose any method.

I have always looked out for people I care, and in many cases gone out of the way to make sure they do not end up making the mistake. But lately I have developed alternate thinking towards it. Lately there has been a lot of change and one is my approach. Recently, I have had some dilemmas, where I felt a dear one was making a mistake. A friend, A relative and A colleague. All three in different facets in my life. I do not want to mention the mistakes, as I do not want to offend them, In fact that was the whole point. As I choose, not to tell them. What I really felt about their decision. I realized, its important to let them make mistakes, they might suffer a problem or two, but it sure makes them learn. All the 3 people involved, I was sure they are mature enough to deal with their mistakes, and am sure they would come out of it more strongly.

Our society is guilty of too much looking out. There are too many people to tell you what to do and what not to. But if the person is not let to learn from the smaller mistakes, what would he do when he gets to face the real problems in life. Relationships, priorities and money all can be a big thing, but till one point of time in life, they can be corrected. But a person learning to fight his own battles, more than that owning up to his mistakes and overcoming it, is a bigger lesson to teach, rather then using the shortcuts and providing them with an answer.

Watch this video linked here ‘Your inner girl‘

I watched this amazing video which talks about The girl within each one of us. The part that cares, nurtures, feels, loves, is sensitive and is in all the emotional part of every human. Sadly that is the part that is the most suppressed , kept under control because it shows the vulnerable part of you. Yet it is the part that helps you overcome every tough time , every sad part, every tragedy and every hiccup you come across in life.

This video came at a time when I was thinking about this incident…a 9 year old little girl , raped and left to die in Goa. I wondered how a human being can be so insensitive so as to not to think of the little innocent child and can be so brutal and in human towards a helpless little victim. Yes probably we are to blame for bringing up kids to be insensitive by suppressing the part of us that feels. A part of us that cares and cries. It always is seen as a weakness. The” girl cell”Its that emotional part of us , that cries , that feels, that loves …We always are hard on people who show emotions, specially men by telling them its not manly to feel that way.Don’t we stop them from crying as kids by telling them boys don’t cry? Don’t we stop them from watching mushy love stories by telling them its too girly?? What makes us stop them from touching that part of them that is sensitive?

It is the same emotional part that gives us the strength to get over everything and start afresh with new hopes, with more love and with a new enthusiasm . It is that emotional part that teaches us to feel and be sensitive to another human beings pain, feelings and teaches us to care n love , to nurture and help others. It is that emotional part that makes us go a little bit beyond ourselves to make people feel loved, feel safe and that part which helps us bring a few smiles on faces.

Should we kill that ‘girl cell’ in each human and suppress the emotional part in each one to create inhumane , disgusting examples of human beings like the rapist in Goa ? I think Not. Am proud to be a emotional caring creature and Yes am Proud to be a Woman and will continue nurturing that emotional me.

Happy birthday Saanj, I don’t have the art of expressing my heart’s words..I just want to say you’r very precious and you will always be a good part of my life…May you be blessed with loads n loads of happiness and may all you wishes come true…and may you reach the heights and get what you want in life…Tons and tons of blessing and loads of loveeee from all of us.

To me you are an angle in disguise.
Full of intuition, intelligent and wise.
Always giving and helping through good times and bad times.
You are the best friend I’ve ever had.
If I had one wish it would surely be
to give you as much you’ve given me
Though I’ve put our relationship through some cloudy days,
you’ve been my sunshine in so many ways.
Though trials and tests, right by me you stood,
and gave me your hand whenever you could.
Thank you so much my sister, my friend
My gratitude for you has no end….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND DUAZ FROM BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
              aarzoo.

As John F Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. As a citizen of our wonderful country that is what each one of us should strive to do… work and contribute towards the betterment of our country, pay taxes without fail, vote for sensible leaders and support when things are right and protest when things are wrong. Keep the country clean, not just in the hygenic sense but also in the sense of keeping the country clean of dirty corrupt politicians and officials who are raping the country of her resources and looting her wealth thus not allowing progress. Support literacy drives and help fellow countrymen as much as you can.

That in the sense is true patriotism to me. Its not about fighting who is a hindu who is a muslim or a christian, who is a brahmin or a shudra, which caste I belong to or which I dont. Its not about taxi drivers speaking in marathi or kannada.Its not about we north indians and you Madrasis. Its not about globalisation or eating burgers or chinese. Its not about which state speaks what n eats what.

I think as a true patriot , one should just look at how you can go the right way, correct the wrong way we have gone , support education and help the less fortunate. Help each fellow countrymen and look at a far peaceful country, build better relationships with our neighbors and collectively strive together towards a more progressive thinking, progressively growing and peaceful country.

A Happy Republic Day to fellow Indians from me . I hope and pray that we move forward hand in hand towards a better understanding of what patriotism is and work towards making India a hub of peace n progressive thinking God bless you all!

A ray of sunlight touches my face ,warming me up slowly. I look into the distant horizon as the sun welcomes me to the new day. As I stretch my arms n wake up to a lazy day, the birds call out beckoning me to go n peer outside. As I walk allong the beach, the sea playing a game of touch n go with my feet, I listen to the sound of the waves , they calm my senses down, making it easier for me to sit n meditate.

A silent breeze touches my face
At last I see myself out of the race
For I feel no more out of place
Protected by all of Gods Grace.

The quietness around beckons me
For there is a lot to feel n see
To let myself stay n let me be
From my minds tangles set free.

Like the sea, the waves ebbing n retreating, thoughts in and out of my mind as I try and find a plane where I can just pray n be one with God. A sense of calm pervades my mind. Peace prevails, just the sound of waves and the birds chirp filling my mind , making me aware of the presence of Him all around. My salvation, my protector, one who always holds me dear to his heart. A drop of water touches my nose as my eyes open.

Across the earth silken ropes slant
The cleansing that’s heaven sent
Rains poured as if it was meant
To clean me ,who was totally spent.

On me as the rains lashed down
Wiping away from my face the frown
Refusing to let me go and drown
Or mope and cry in Sadness town.

I breathed in the scent of the freshly dampened mud, the aroma filling my senses with a new kind of enthusiasm .With the thought of my loved ones I opened my eyes to a new day with the sun shining bright.The bright hues of the flowers, the sea so blue, the gentle breeze as it ruffles my hair, as I walk through. The bees buzzing around my ear, the butterfly touching the rose, the sun winking at me through the clouds.

The clouds in my mind clears
As I join my friends my peers,
As the rain washes away my tears.
For I have no more demons or fears.

Its been a year today since my Hubby lost his mom n I lost my mom in law. Peace be with her.A year that began with her death n I never knew what storms were in store for me following that. So many things happened from the last year 24th Jan…I rather think of the year as a nightmare I woke up from, since I weathered through the upheavals and am still surviving albeit a few lesser smiles . In a couple of days time , I celebrate yet another new year of my life and I do hope n pray this year shows me a reflection of the person I was before last year. One who knew to appreciate the colors of the rainbow.What I wrote above was just a hand at trying and looking at the color in life Hope u guys like it.

Sometimes you ask yourself What is life? Are you living for some greater purpose or are you just here to live past a cycle n move on. I ask myself this very often. What is life? Sometimes I feel my life has no meaning. That is when I give myself a lil talk and the following is just that which I tell myself to pep up

What is life?

‘You don’t go to find meaning in life, you bring meaning to your life. The meaning of life isn’t something out there waiting for you to discover it. The meaning of your life is what you infuse it with -beauty or ugliness, happiness or sadness. It is totally your choice, and God wants it to be your choice because God gave you free will.’

For each person the meaning of life probably would be different..for each one finds their own paths.There are no rules…just a different lesson to learn as you make different choices.You meet different mentors who lead you at certain points of your life , You may follow them as their way may look strong to you when you are at a weak point of your life .

Then one day you just get totally lost, that tells you , you probably made a wrong choice, that you did not handle a situation well. Its a sign that you need to make some corrections. In a way its a good thing to happen because life is giving you a chance to set yourself right.So if you harness your best intentions and claim your desires, accept your strengths and admit to your weakness, explore and utilize your gifts and talent and follow your heart with love for all, you can be your best guide as to what choices you make in your life . That will lead you on a path that is best suited for you.

Choices ….they give life a meaning.If something doesn’t seem right, look for or create something to make it better. Giving up can never be a good choice.You have to risk rejection to go after what you want, you have to risk failure to find success. Learn to cherish not lament, find allies instead of creating enemies and instead of letting negative energy create fears and cripple you, invent and find positive things to fill you with purpose in life.

Don’t Give up….Just give more….that will help you get a meaning to life. What according to you would be the meaning of life?