Saanams Mind

I believe that what makes us human is our insatiable nature. You can be a happy person for one day and then for the next, you feel as if you want something more. You are already content with what you have, but now you feel that there’s something else out there that could make you happier.

Why is that? Why are so many of us so tied into that thought? I don’t mean to say that we’re always looking for something better. You could be just perfectly content and happy for the time being, but then little by little, you notice that you could be happier if this or if that.

I don’t mean to say that you’re unhappy either. You can still be happy but want something more. Does that make sense? It’s like having that perfect ice cream cone and the only thing missing to make it extra special are sprinkles. It doesn’t lessen the joy you already have, but you know that if you had sprinkles, then it’d be perfect. But you’re still happy that it’s a great ice cream cone.

Happiness is a little strange. I somehow never find a point in my life when I’m just happy because somewhere in the back of my head I’m thinking that something will surely go wrong now just because I’m a bit happy and that totally depresses me. I like to live in the moment and be happy with all that I have but it isn’t always just materialistic things. I can be happy but I’d be happier if my loved ones were happy too. Does that make sense? Am I the only one who thinks like this? I guess we all do focus on how things can be better and complain about our lives and what not. We could all stand to learn how to be more appreciative of what we have and not concern ourselves so much with what we COULD have. I mean in some instances it’s good to have goals, ambitions, and wants… But greed is ugly. I try hard not to be greedy but I am only human and sometimes I find myself being a tad bit selfish and greedy when it comes to either my own happiness or someone who is close to me. I mean my happiness is dependent on the people I love. If they aren’t happy then how could I be? Or should I just be selfish and care only about my happiness? Don’t think I’m born like that. I can never be.

In a materialistic world, humans, every one of us, is very greedy. We always want more than what we have. We can be content with what we have but a 32 inch plasma TV with a ps3, WII, X-Box, with surround sound would make me a little happier than the 19 inch TV with nothing. I am fine with running by myself, but to run with someone would make me happier. People don’t really understand what they have, and hardly ever accept the plate that is given to them. You know me and the plate I was given, you know that I am very content and mildly happy with my life. I don’t really want anything other than a decent place to rest my head. But I would love to have adventure. Many people want more because there must be more than this simple life. Do people just want different things?

Do you think that there’s going to be someone who’s already gotten everything s/he’s wanted and there is nothing else? Or is that just death? To know that it’s the end and that when you’ve finally gotten what you want, then you can die? But that’s another topic entirely.

How do you cure the insatiable human?

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Apparently people think that unless you’re married, you have no life. If you think I’m kidding, try being a single girl in a company of bunch of aunties. You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about then.  I absolutely hate going to any sorts of gatherings because that’s all I get to hear.  My marriage, my life and when I’ll finish my education seems to be everyone’s concern.  Sometimes you wonder if people really realize that it’s NONE of their business. I understand that some people are concerned that you may never get married because apparently after you cross a certain age, it’s impossible to get married but really, shouldn’t this just be my family and my concern?

I keep having this conversation with my best friend because everywhere we both go, that seems to be the topic of every get-together. I understand marriage is important and all but why do people think that only after you get married you can have a life? What if I’m perfectly happy with the way my life is? I am an independent person; I don’t feel I need a man in my life to complete me. I can do everything (Ok, almost everything!) that a man can do. I don’t need a man to buy me expensive gifts because if I want something, I can surely get it myself. Not saying that guys shouldn’t buy me gifts, please be my guest!  My point is that people need to realize that there is a life beyond marriage. We are living in a very different world today. Women don’t need men to complete them nor do they need a husband to provide them with the best of everything in life. Women are much more educated, independent and capable of taking care of themselves today. And whatever happened to people respecting your personal life and your privacy? It seems to not exist…especially among desi people.

Marriage is a big step in anyone’s life…and when it happens, it’s a coming together of not only two people but also two families. And it certainly isn’t a Bollywood film so it’s really important to choose the right partner and the one your heart accepts. I have seen many people take hasty decisions in regards to their marriage and then end up regretting it. I have tried to live my life without regrets and each day teaches me something new about this world, people and relationships so I wouldn’t want to get into any relationship without being 100% sure that this is it! It’s not about expecting my life to be perfect because there is no such thing as perfect but one can surely make sure that the decision you make has a positive impact on your life and those around you. Obviously it isn’t just about you either so the decision has to be well thought about.  Sometimes when I’m talking to my married friends, they feel I should’ve gotten married long back because I speak so maturely on this topic but is that what it’s really about? Speaking maturely on something doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. I don’t know if I’m ready for it or if I’ll ever be ready for it. I just know one thing – when the time is right, it will happen. I’ve always believed that God will never let you take any decision till it’s the right moment.

Having said that, I wish all the aunties out there would leave me alone. Concentrate on themselves and their own kids. Don’t worry about MY education, my marriage or my life. There’s so much I want to do with my life and if some guy is meant to walk into my life and turn his life into hell, then it will happen. Of course, when the time is right, not before then and not after. So take a chill pill and let me enjoy my bachelorhood!

Live your life to the fullest and live it for yourself. Marriage or no marriage, we all have a life.

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The song in my heart is so full of melody,
Each word so beautiful in rhythm n tune
The music ringing out in blissful harmony
Like light showers in the month of June .
You make my heart feel so free, so light
It seems to soar high on wings of joy..
Making my days seem so fresh so bright,
Moments so precious ,Memories to enjoy.
This feeling is such a wonderful sting
One that I want to hold me forever captive.
A feeling that to my feet adds such a spring
That makes time with you so attractive.
So beautiful seems my dawns n my sunsets
The gentle breeze playing a song of love
This seems perfect as beautiful as it gets
Finally I stumbled upon my treasure trove.

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The black thunderous clouds, cleared and made way for the warmth of the Satting sun’s rays. As she had been confined to the walls of the house, he decided to walk her down to the most scenic part of their little villiage . It was a quiet evening , the silence just broken by the chirping birds flying overhead and the rabbits skipping and hopping alongside of them. They neared the scenic drop and she stopped to take off her shoes and put the umbrella away .He did the same…hand in hand they walked skipping along the wet grass, basking in the warmth of the setting sun on their faces..Stopping to take in the beauty of the moment, they gazed silently first at the scenery around and then at each other …Yes they had made it through at last. She gently rested her head on his shoulder as they soaked in the peace around!

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Trust is such a fragile thing that has to be nurtured and earned and cared for if it has to grow .Trust takes years to build and doesn’t happen overnight .Over a period of time, people keep watch on every one of our actions n watch our interactions with everybody and then decide if we are trustworthy or not .

Trust is not just honesty, its about how one treats people , its about what one talks about other people, its about if you talk about others behind their back and if you do what would you be saying about me behind my back.Its about How much importance you place on valuing what you say and standing by it. How do you handle your commitments and do you follow through with what you say.Its about how well you handle other’s trust in you, do you use personal knowledge about people against them to their advantage if so would you do the same with me

To trust and to be trusted is a power thing. While love does elicit a certain level of trust , total trust takes time to build and takes much more than love .Some emotions are instinctive and are placed in us by God.So is Trust. It does not come in demand , it develops over time .Trust is given only when it is deserved and perhaps that is why it hurts the most when broken.

When trust is broken, it may be very hard for that individual to trust another, because trust is something we carry all our lives.Our past experiences with people always decides on how much we trust another . Trust is an all important part of relationships and once broken takes a lot of sincerity from the other person to make it work again.

Trust is so important for as Ralph Waldo Emerson says “Our distrust is very expensive. ” and while we may be often deceived if we trust too much life without trust is a torment indeed

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Its been quite a while since I put my thoughts down in words … sometimes as a release to the unrest , sadness or exuberance I feel within me, I do manage to jot down a few words.

If I look past the few years , I sometimes feel the love I feel within me is my undoing To love is to lose and to lose is a feeling of unfettered sadness yet I do not want to change my belief and that to me is to come from love and not from fear. I rather have my actions be dictated by love rather than fear ..because as we see it, all man’s actions are dominated by these two emotions.

To be open, simple and truthful that’s what it means to come from love.That means you come from a belief that each person out there is good. and you deserve the good and that they deserve it from you too. So you are simple , honest and open .. no lies, no fabrications, less complications . Realistically, while it is simple to be so…its hurtful when the same is not reciprocated, when you are used , lied to or just taken advantage of just because you choose to be a simple , truthful and open person. But to come from love, you learn to just forgive, accept and move on….yet you are not a doormat To come from love also means you love yourself and that should make sure no one takes you for a ride .The whole world doesn’t look at life the way you do, so make allowances but do not allow people to take advantage of your loving nature, or take you for granted.

To come from love, is to stop looking for trouble..when you look for trouble you attract it towards you,So its all about recognizing what is right and good and then getting others to see that as well…The problems can be dealt with later .

When you are open, deceptions become obvious to you and you speak out loud about it.You have less inhibitions talking about it. It just means you will not tolerate being taken for a ride .

When you come from love you just bring out the best that is in you, just because you love yourself enough to just be the best you can be .You create a world of love around you and you begin living in a loving world …

So think about it.. come from love and create love around you… YOU deserve it !

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My heart it cries & squeezes a lone tear
As my mind unleashes a shiver of fear….
Yet again am back to once where I was
Held by loneliness and its cold claws .
The pain, my companion rears his head
Reminding me of each harsh word said…
Each wound trailing in my heart a scar
Making healing a goal so distant ,so far.
The sheer silence eating into me each day
Suffocating me , blocking each of sun’s ray .
Oh to find a foothold on this slippery path
Cursed as it seems from hell’s own wrath .
Stumbling and shivering I stand oh so alone
Strength leaving my body in a painful moan..
Redeem me at once from this cruel arid world.
Take me into Your arms and for eternity hold.

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Being gifted with a strong sixth sense..I dont know whether to call it a gift or not but most often my feelings about certain people n what I sense of them always comes true . Being a little stressed out in the past few days and a strange uneasyness stripping me of my peace of mind, I have come to the conclusion that I need a Spring Cleaning of my soul. Now how can I do that? A little research on the net and a news letter I read spoke of a few steps n here is what I understood from it all .

First of all I have to let go of things that no longer serve and of baggage that just gives me heart ache and stress Like spring heralds in a breath of fresh air with lovely breeze , energising you, spring cleaning of the mind n soul involves getting rid of stuff that dont serve you well anymore .How can you figure out what is no longer positive in your life ? The following few steps may help do that.

Renew Your senses to hone n sharpen your perceptions. Meditation, lovely music, flowers, fresh air, walks in the open… creating a space filled with fresh plants n colors , soft textures like silk…sit and enjoy each bit of it. Go on a sensory discovery of things. Enjoy every mouthful of food that you put in your mouth . Surround yourself with fresh clean perfumes…use aromatic essential oils . All these will sharpen your senses .

Dust off & Analyse all your relationships. Look at the troubled ones that generally drain you of energy ..are they repairable , can you work out a solution? If you cant do it alone seek help for matters of concern ..then renew your committment to that relationship and work on it .If you are sure things cant be repaired muster up enough courage to just let go once and for all . Sever ties and karmically de-link yourself from that relationship.

Kill the weeds of all negativity and bad attitude in yourself..look at spiritual growth .Analyse yourself, your way of looking at life , at your attitude towards anything in your life. Remove negative thoughts , replace pettiness with genorosity, Learn patience, tolerance and forgiveness. Grow a positive , optimistic outlook to life . Take a hard look at yourself and truthfully analyse and inprove on things thus paving way to a spiritually stronger you.

Take out the trash of all the activities that consume your time without being really productive. Look at all that you do. Is there something that occupies your time without really being actually worthwhile? Are they worth the time you put on it? Do you get any strength from it? Are you tired by doing too much of worthless stuff? Put yourself on a tight schedule n spend time nurturing yourself .

A new broom sweeps clean .So open your mind, heart, spirit and revamp yourself by sweeping out guilt resentment, criticism and intolerance . Promise yourself a blessed rebirth of golden thoughts for yourself and towards others. Reinvent beautiful golden core values and try n live by them .

Remodel your Physical well being. Look into what you feed your body n how well you maintain it. Get rid of anything that adds toxins or poisons into your system , like cigarettes , alchohol or drugs Try n eat food that is good for your wellbeing. One that is healthy n include an exercise regime as a healthy part of your life.Wellness should be the mantra .

Air out the grieviences. If you have issues with someone come up with solutions n mediate on it . then approach the person with love, warmth n honesty.Share the solution, build bridges, mend fences. let go of grudges and grieviences….You will feel rejuvenated.

Recognise your strengths and instead of putting too much pressure on yourself to excel in everything , let go n make peace that there could be areas you may not be so good at . Instead of competing or comparing with others, strive to do the best for yourself and find peace in who you are. This comes with acceptance of yourself as you are.

Forgive yourself and forgive others too.Make peace with your past and seek happiness in your future.Forgive n let go of past personal failures, hurt,your shortcomings , social transgressions and disappointments . Let go n move on.

Remove the word fear from your personal dictionary and find strength within yourself to live each day to the fullest . Experience each and every moment to the fullest and find joy in the smallest pleasures . Smile and live. Explore and move out of your comfort zone so as to make sure you accept what the universe has to give you.How else can you learn and grow ?

Always keep in mind that we are all on a leased out time on this planet. We cannot let time run by us and waste the gift of life given to us by The One above…All we need to do is embrace life in all positivity and experience each moment as it should be …to the fullest in all Joy n with happiness A spring cleaning from time to time will help us do that.

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We don’t always know what makes us happy. We know, instead, what we think SHOULD. We are baffled and confused when our attempts at happiness fail…We are mute when it comes to naming accurately our own preferences, delights, gifts, talents. The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people’s expectations. The tongue of the original self is the language of the heart.”
– Julia Cameron

Do we live for ourselves ? Or are we constantly dependent on circumstances to make us happy? If circumstances determine if we are happy or not, then how assured can we be of our own happiness? Isnt happiness a state of mind and shouldnt it be free from the circumstances we live in? More often then not changes affect circumstances and situations change, so if we rely on situations to keep us happy arent we targetting ourselves as victims of circumstances?

Happiness basically is a state of mind. No matter what we can decide to keep our state of mind in a state of happiness. We can do it irrespective of what circumstances we are in. As inidividuals we are all different, our thinking so different, the way we look, the way we behave everything is different …the same way each one of us has an equal opportunity in live to be happy irrespective of our invidual circumstances .

Happy individuals create happy atmosphere around them that s conducive to better circumstances, better relationships n better institutions .This in return paves way to a happier, saner world . I read a few questions that one needs to ask oneself that will help look within and create a better understanding of what happiness is to you and if you want that happiness.

~Am I really happy? What do I need to make me happy?
~If I had to live a whole week feeling happy , without fear or conflict what would the impact be on your work, family or relationships ?
~If I spent a lifetime being happy , what changes would come about in my relationships? What impact would it have on my work performance, on my family, my children? How would I handle the current challenges that I have before me ?
~Do I really want to be happy? How about today ? Do I want to be happy today?

Its up to us…a challenge we conquer can give as the same happiness as we feel while spending time with our kids or maybe the same happiness as being surprised pleasantly. Its all in us … Do we really want to be happy?

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We all have been reading Doomsday stories n its rampant over the net. The talk is the governments expect it and cant do much about it so there is silence over the Topic. As I read and find out the many theories to it, I wonder how much of it is really true and how much I should believe in it or if the facts spoken of is really true . So here is what i gather from the whole thing and my take on the whole issue .

The Mayan Calender is drawn up to 21 st Dec 2012 and doesn’t not have more dates added to it. The Mayan predictions talk of apocalypse or dooms day that point to the Dec of 2012 . If you want to read more into that http://www.doomsdayguide.org/mayan.htm has more info on it .

The Quran always spoke of the day of “The Judgement” and the signs that speak of its impending doom . http://www.inter-islam.org/faith/Majorsigns.html. As i read through I did see the signs for what they are…the facts of today. For more on this check http://2012predictions.org/islam-what-says-about-the-end-the-world-t770.html.

The latest astronomical discovery of the planet Nibiru is yet another topic many scientists talk of . What is Nibiru…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nibiru_collision .. A huge comet/ planet/ sun whatever it is…its on a collision course with our earth n happens once in every 3600 yrs . http://www.youtube.comwatch?v=mkv4chj47XY explains this more . For more on this celestial body do a search on Nibiru on youtube.

Being a Hindu i believe that Kaliyugaa…or the times of the evil comes to an end and Satya yuga or the era of good comes back. Hinduism also does speak of a comet Dhumaketu that destroys .

With so many stories and findings coinciding with each other, I did wonder what does my mind tell me. Will the world end and will we all die…Is the purpose of all our lives over that we all have to move on?….Or has the world become so evil that it has to be destroyed in order for it to start afresh. Have we as humans used n abused Mother nature so much that the seven billion people that live here have totally destroyed nature …is it her way of lashing out at the world.

Maybe my belief makes me believe that for us to move on, we do not have to actually have our physical forms with us…Maybe this destruction is necessary for good to come out of it. Whatever it is..God created us n what he sees as the correct thing for us, we are destined for that

Just a thought…if we had to all die next year… what are the changes we would bring about in ourselves for the better Lets mull over that.

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