Saanams Mind

Watching and flipping through the various TV channels and looking at all the song videos I had this one thought in my mind. There is absolutely nothing more graceful among clothes for women than a well draped saree. It seemed to me that the 5 yards of material when draped could give a woman any kind of a look she wanted depending on the way it is draped and the kind of fabric worn.

Talking of fabrics, chiffons, georgettes that look sleek, sexy, silks and cottons that look professional to mixed fabrics that are for utility purpose, from plain to dressy, a saree is the most versatile piece of clothing ever seen..

Apart from that a saree can be draped in many ways, from the regular way it is worn, to the coorgy style, like women from my community wear, to the Gujrati style, the 6 yard drape Tamilians wear, the Bengali style of draping, the way fisherwomen wear ….. all with just the few yards of material.

Well, to think of the uses the pallu has , I feel it was designed to meet every womans needs, Look at it this way, Nervous??? you can use the pallu to twist around your hand, Shy??? you can cover your face with the pallu, Running sshort of tissues ??? use the pallu to wipe your tears, no facetowel use the pallu na or more so wanna entice sumone try swishing the pallu on the man’s face hahaha multi purpose dont you think??

From Sridevi in Lamhe, Kajol in Kabhi khushi Kabbhi ghaam and Kuch Kuch hota hei, Katrina in Singh is Kingg, Sushmita in Main Hoon Na, all these gals havee epitomised sarees as the most feminine attire for women. I just wish women did wear them more often as we see the girls these days do have a tendency to stick to western attire.

To me Saree is the most flattering attire ever invented.I love draping it in different styles and wear it to suit my mood. From giving me a feminine feeling, to getting people to take me seriously at work, a saree has done wonders to the way I feel. Sexy to formal, casual to professional, it does it job really well and as long as it is well draped, a saree looks undoubtedly the most graceful of them all. Along with covering all the flaws in the body, it manages to give one the most feminine feel.Would’nt you agree?

I think there are two ways in which I tend to look at life.  There are days when I think I live life to its finest details, tracking my steps to every possible extent, constructing every view of mine carefully, planning every move of mine, and reasoning every thought that comes to my mind. This involves a lot of retrospection, I mean one does think a lot of what he/she did as to what he/she ought to have done, days when I do not want to dismiss anything lightly, trying to construction something out of every possible thought, trying to see how that can help others and myself.

I guess it’s a curve, rather a circle, with passing days the involvement in my own life grows gradually, and then reaches a peak, and I realize that this is it, I got to break free, I got take things lightly, forget the finer aspects, look at life as set of passing days, enjoy the way as it comes, feel the happiness in an unplanned manner, and if it turns out to be sad then just go through the motions of pain. Let the life plan it for you, rather then you planning the life.

I think there is something in my mind which kind of tags continuum as boredom, so just like the unplanned life which kind of forced its way into my routine life, a want of a more planned one would find its way back in. So slowly I begin to plan a risk free, “non sad” days, even if it means that it’s not happy.

It’s like a cycle that always continues.

I saw the movie – “A Mighty Heart” a few days back. And it hasn’t left my mind since then. I don’t remember coming across a story so powerful in a long long time. Except that it’s not a story, its reality…so extremely depressing and exceptionally inspiring at the same time. It’s not about Daniel Pearl, though I wonder if anyone will ever know what he went through and what he felt. Anyways, it’s about Mariane Pearl, his wife. A woman who despite being five months pregnant, did not lose courage and searched for her husband with all her capacity. A woman who did not give up till the end. Not even when her husband was beheaded cruelly. Instead she started afresh with a courage that’s not just exceptional but exemplary as well. Imagine a person who has to live all her life with the horrific truth of her brutally murdered husband as compared to people like us who would shun watching the tape of Daniel Pearl’s murder even once.

She says “You choose fear, I choose hope. Let’s see who wins.” to those who killed her husband and seek to harm others through violence and hatred. Revenge would have come easy and naturally to not just her but to anyone who would have been subjected to similar circumstances. But the true strength of a human being’s character shines through only on such occasions where we chose to rise above our basic animal instincts. But at the same time forgiveness is too lame as an answer to extreme situations. It’s not a value strong enough to stand on. We must win some sort of victory over the people who have hurt us and we can only do that by denying the terrorists their goal. They try to kill everything in us – courage, hope, happiness. And instill in us a fear to live, a fear to live the way we want and a fear to live freely. The only way to oppose them is by demonstrating the strength they think they have taken from us – the strength to keep on living, to keep on valuing life, to be what we chose to be and not what they want us to be.

And so I salute the spirit of this tremendously brave lady. Truly “A Mighty Heart” – she, who is perceived as one of our “ordinary heroes” is certainly not ordinary at all.

I look around me, and sometimes wonder .As humans we feel we are so advanced in our science, discoveries, thinking and life. But what ultimately controls all happenings around us?

I see how at one moment I am ecstatic about life and how my life is headed, a tiny incident then can change this whole euphoric moment and turn me into a drained person, feeling helpless, wondering what next. If at all I do have, how much of control do I have on everything around me. Yes to a large extent , my thoughts and my mind controls what happens in my life , but how much of it really is in my control?

The so called advancement in technology and science tries telling us the reason behind every single happening in this world. How would one explain miracles and inexplicable acts that we face sometimes in our life? I sometimes wonder how one can explain what faith and belief in God can do. How can one explain how optimistic and positive thinking can push things to happen your way?

What actually is the force behind so many things that is beyond human imagination?

Would you help me understand?

FALLING! FALLING! FALLING! HELP!! HELP!! HELP!!

I am getting pulled into a vortex-an idea of what it might seem to be sucked into a black hole is formulating in my mind. A sense of helplessness and despair reigns supreme.My eyelids seem heavy and ready to droop. A film over my eyes makes every view seem blurred and distant-what a coincidence!!! Its not just my vision its also my thoughts.Head feels heavy,everything feels heavy like there is some burden on my head. Sluggishness and lethargy seems to be the order of the day. Lips turn downwards in a perpectual sulk.When I open my mouth only negativity and cribs pass through it.

Fear like the tentacles of an octupus seems to be clutching at my heart-what is happening to me? Why do I feel like I am caught in a whirlpool of negative emotions? My mind seems to be filled with darkness. Infact,it would’nt be wrong if I at this point compared my mind to a black hole of negativity and depressions. I feel helpless bcause all symptoms seem to point out at the one thing I learnt extensively about in psychology class-DEPRESSIONS. Back then it seemed like any other chapter in my psychology book-distant and unreal which happened to someone else, not to someone like me, who was always happy, carefree and a free spirit.The main course of my life at this point is negativity,discontentment,complaints and misery and if this is the maincourse ,bitterness and cynicism seems to be the dessert of the day.

Suddenly like a flicker in the dark it comes to me that this black hole was at some point very very bright-a very bright , happy, positive person.

The flicker seems to be growing brighter by the day-YES! I owe it to myself to bring the smile back on my face, the song on my lips, the twinkle back in my eye and most importantly the clarity of positive thoughts.YES I owe it to myself to be happy because I for one deserve to be happy because I am the most important person in my life and I AM WORTH IT.

The black hole does not seem so dark anymore. Helplessness and despair seem a little more further away, the lips slowly turn upwards in a smile and the dessert for the day seems positivity and hope.Definitely the flicker in the dark seems to be brightening up to form the light at the end of the tunnel.

GOODBYE DEPRESSIONS-HELLO HAPPINESS!!!!

Sometimes I sit and wonder if many people feel about things like I do. I am ,as I see it a sensitive person and a lot of times highly sensitive to what happens around, I get affected by the moods of my family, friends, so much so that I get bothered by what they feel. I feel others problems and emotions. If a friend is moody or upset, I sit an think what I could have done to them to make them feel this way.

According to some books highly sensitive people are those who are cautious about what they do and think a lot before they say or do something. So we do need these feeling people in the society to temper the risk takers or the insensitive folks.

Sensitive people are those who pick all the subtle nuances or subtle signs in an environment and this can work to their advantage as they normally get a sign that trouble is brewing when it is brewing up .But at the same time sensitive people are prone to hurt because little things affect them. For example if a friend is moody and is too quiet, a sensitive person is bound to think why and how they are responsible for the friend being in a bad mood. In the bargain they go through some harrowing moments. Little issues keep working on their minds, keeping them up at nights.

A lot of times they are so empathetic, they get involved in peoples problems and emotions. They are unable to shake of emotions easily. If they see someone suffering it affects deep. If hurt, it takes time for them to get back to normal. They are tuned in to the emotions of those around them and generally avoid conflicts and confrontations.

Since there are more insensitive people around ,most often sensitive people wish they were more thick skinned and less affected by all that’s around them. They look at sensitivity as a weakness and wish things did not bother them as much and that their emotions were less obvious to others.

What do you feel? Is it wrong to be a sensitive person in the present day world, or do we need more sensitive , feeling people in this world to change how we look at things?

Just got me to wonder today, what a life it would be without any of the senses. I mean can’t see, hear, touch/feel, smell nor taste. You know the heart continues to beat, but there is hardly any life left. What a life that would be. Is that the state of coma?

So much of our consciousness is through senses; the way we perceive things is so much dependent on things we have sensed from long, so what if a person is born without any senses at all, would he live a life where he is totally unaware of things going around him? The idea is so vague that I can’t even imagine how he would live, what would be his memories? Speaking of memories, so much of our memories are from senses, just wondering if you can’t feel anything, what would we remember? Does it mean most of our organs are indirectly dependent on our senses?

What about emotions without senses, would humans still continue to have emotions, if you think emotions like happiness, sorrow, love or affection should not really depend on the senses you see, not all of them can be defined fully. Shouldn’t they be felt from the inside, so going by that definition, one should continue to “feel” emotions even without the senses.

Just looking at emotions from the other angle, Don’t emotions need a trigger too?, Before we get into the trigger, etc… first look at the different emotions like love, happiness, kindness, anger, heroism, fear, wonder, tranquility.

Just wondering how many of these would get triggered without senses? According to many philosophers all emotions are triggered by thoughts, Thoughts themselves are mainly triggered by things we perceive, which again is dependent on senses.
Origin of thoughts in turn is a huge debate in philosophy. Origin can be traced to many things; they could be memories from the previous thought process, or the feelings from the current state of mind, generated by any of the senses, or any of the emotions. Definitions look all tangled up, don’t they?

Maybe without senses, one may not even have emotions or thoughts too. Now this makes it a life without senses, emotions and thoughts, I can’t imagine what else would be left. What a life that would be!

Often while sitting and whiling away time, like at airports or maybe at a doctors, waiting for an appointment , at functions and parties, I indulge in what I call my favorite past time. Watching people, their animated expressions and mannerisms and behavior. It continually holds my fascination for what, we as humans are blessed with. The art of communication. Not just verbal communication but also through body language.

Most of the interviews I conducted to hire people for our enterprise, I put these people reading skills to work & trust me , most people give away a lot through the way they behave, their body language & the way they carry themselves. I wonder why grooming and tips on how to carry yourself is never part of our curriculum when we are growing up.

When a neatly dressed, immaculate person walks in, you automatically know this person is probably meticulous & organized in his work as well. If you find that certain details are given importance like matching accessories etc, you can expect attention to details from this person

Often when a person crosses their hands, it means they are less receptive to ideas. When someone leans forward they are interested , so also if their feet are inclined and pointed to you, when eyes are widened that means interest again.

Voices play such a big role in communication & voice modulation is a very important. The tone, volume with which one speaks , speaks a lot for a person. When one talks loud, he probably is looking for attention, is most likely a bully & needs a few lessons in talking soft.

Why am I emphasizing on improving on oneself and developing a well polished , groomed person with a strong communication? Because communication is the key word here. Often we pay so much attention on verbal communication, we forget that non verbal communication plays a great role in presenting who we are to the other person. So it is as if not more important as verbal communication.

A friend once asked why do we run from it when pain is such a never ending emotion? I wonder the same but I wonder if we really can run from it because its pace is far more than ours could ever be. We might just hide for a few moments in the shades of happiness but the pain always captures us, no matter how hard we try. That’s same for everyone though we might not be able to see through the masked faces of others.

We just seem to very conveniently forget that our bond with pain was born with us and that it’s our only lifelong companion. Someone who never leaves us lonely. Yet still we want to desert it, all the time. We still try to run away from it, always. People talk about emotions and sentiments and all about love but never about pain even though all emotions end in pain. Even though it’s an emotion that is deeply interwoven with our lives. Why don’t we just accept it, live with it and see if it still hurts?

Why don’t we just relax and stop tiring ourselves when we know that we can’t run from it? Let’s just face it and maybe it won’t find us tempting once we stop running away from it. Maybe…just maybe?

I’m a big believer on self-determination. What I mean by that, and for the purpose of this post, is that you choose your actions, especially, your attitudes. You’d think that with this mindset, I’d always try to be happy, right? Well, a few weeks ago I was really depressed. However, I did little (except some retail therapy) to help alleviate my mood. In fact, I probably worsened or encouraged my bad mood by listening to sad songs.

For me, I listen to music for three reasons: 1) because I enjoy it 2) because there are certain songs that can express how I feel in a much more beautiful manner and 3) because it gives me peace. Due to the latter reason, I ended up listening to songs that didn’t give me motivation or hope, but allowed me to wallow in my despair for just a little longer.

These actions got me to thinking though. I could have chosen to listen to the music of Singh Is King or something of that manner, but I didn’t. I purposefully chose songs that I knew were sad, that I knew were depressing. I didn’t try to go out and to have a good time with, but instead, stayed home and wallowed.

So I wonder, why would someone what to do that? Why would someone like me want to put myself through such an emotional hell? In such a dark space? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Unfortunately, it happens and people do it too often.

This all reminds me of a post I came across that had a video about a paraplegic man who had a really good attitude when everything else in his life was grim. During the clip, he talks about how he could have taken the traditional reaction and made everything seem so bad, but he didn’t. He chose to have a positive attitude and that changed everything for him. I’m not saying I don’t have a positive attitude or that I don’t have a positive outlook on life, I truly do and I look at everything positively rather than in a negative manner but sometimes you just wonder, just how long can you stay positive for when you know things definitely aren’t looking good? 

When you’re in a bad mood, do you allow yourself to sulk and stew or do you try to do something more productive and positive? Sure, the latter sounds very ideal, but really, how often do you do it?