Saanams Mind

The Mumbai Attack- loss of hundreds of innocent lives, women, children, old, foriegners. All when a group of 12-15 crazed men came into the city with an idea to just kill and destroy. What actually did they acheive to do? Blood shed at the cost of their own lives? What purpose does the whole act serve? More hatred or violent reactions in peoples mind.

In the aftermath of this ghastly massacre speaking to many people I kind of was amazed at how people thought. Anam and I had lengthy discussions, belonging to two countries that have so much animosity against each other, both of us were kind of amazed at how people think. Specially the so called educated, literate people with fancy degrees. While Anam heard that India deserves it kind of a reaction, I heard
stuff like each one with a kind of tolerance and liking or even love for anything Islamic or Pakistani should be weeded out.

While I mourn the death of so many innocent human beings and am in shock of the horrific results of a crazed and messed up human mind I stand by the thought that it is time for everybody all over the world, Indians, Pakistanis, Americans, Isrealis etc to rise over boundaries of countries and religions to get together to work towards Peace and harmony. The terrorists practice the religion of hatred and bloodshed. They follow their own rules and not those set by any country or religion, so why then as educated people do we spout contempt and so much of hatred against one religion or the other.

Aren’t each one of us humanbeings, with red color blood , each one us when hurt physically ,bleed, we all die the same way . So why are we breeding hatred and contempt .Then how different are we from these violent people who believe that bloodshed talks…arent we of the same mindset if we talk of retaliation? Isnt it time we look at peace and rise over stupid boundaries that in the first place causes such hatred. Look at humanity as one. In a day and age where so many die without food, so many have no access for medical facilities, instead of wasting time on building contempt and hatred, cant we look at how to help, better the less fortunate, forgetting which country, religion we belong to.Forgetting if we are white , black, yellow or brown skinned. Cant we rise above stereotypes and branding the whole country or whole community as whatever and look at each one as a good person or bad person? Why dont our so called fancy degrees and qualifications educate us instead of merely making us literate.

As far as I see it no religion preaches taking another life. We may pray different but all of us have a God we believe in.We may lead different lifestyles but all of us leave this earth with a last breath. We are all made of skin, bones , hair ,muscles. organs,blood. So why then so much of hatred? Why then this contempt?Instead we have to join hands together and show these fanatical minded bloodthirsty, disturbed human minds that we wont give into the fear or terror they want us to be scared of.We instead have to focus on making this place a safer place for our coming generations.We have to rise above every boundary to look at the humane side of ourselves , change mindsets and work collectively against terrorism and violence.

I sometimes am amazed at what people value the most in life. Their egos or the relationships they build. Their ambitions or their loyalty. Their greed for either fame or money ,or respect and love they get.Amazing dont you think to see how the want for fame , popularity, ambition can simply blind someone to everything else.

When I was on a trip to Kashmir, among the majestic Himalayas, I looked around to see how tiny a spec I was among the humongous mountains.It made me also realise that our egos sometimes make us feel we are so big and that is when you fail to see the bigger picture. I also realised as you get up there , you get lonelier.

As often mentioned before ,I always value relationships to such an extent that I give a part of me to each relationship I nurture. But looking at how little people value relationships , I am a bit disillusioned with human nature. Being a support to someone I considered a good friend, I always thought she felt the same as I did. It did come as a disappointment to me to see her do things completely opposite of my principles. What I value a lot in life is loyalty to people who respect and love you , a high level of integrity in what you do and I know I can never forget the friends who helped me get started on my writing, and gave me a platform to showcase my talent. So when this so called friend decided to choose her wanting to grow over the people who helped her get started and helped nurture the very talent she had, I sat to wonder at what do humans really value?

Money, fame , success comes a lot of times at the cost of relationships, love and respect .Do you really think the person can be happy when in the run for success they have lost people who they could have shared their joys with ? Most people in their scramble for success do trample over many feelings, many people and many relationships. Do they really get peace of mind once they get wherever they are headed? Maybe they do .But I have believed that success comes when things are worked for in a clean way without back stabbing, bad mouthing and worked for ernestly. When done by using others as rungs of the ladder to climb all over, success or peace of mind eludes because things are not done with a clean heart.When integrity, principles or plain good hearted feelings take a back seat and is compromised in a scramble for something big, in the long run the success becomes shallow and ultimately everything that should matter is all lost.

Maybe I think different but as I see it success fame and popularity are not what stand by you when you are old, grey or ill but relationships, love and respect do. So isn’t it what one should invest time and energy on instead of trampling over well wishers and relationships that matter in the process of what they term ‘GROWTH’ .Well , as you sow, so you reap so its not for me to say .There is ‘The One’ above who gives what give tenfolds. Thats what life has taught me and thats what I believe in.

Would appreciate your take on it so please do comment.

Was reading an article which spoke about working and making an effort to be happy.

Well humans are a gifted species blessed with superior intelligence, ability to emote communicate and feel. So we owe it to ourselves to make ourselves happy. The article also spoke about a few points that can help you stay happy and they are actually simple to follow.

The first thing to do is to value yourself as a human and respecting the person you are., this means you take time to do something for yourself. It does not mean being selfish or selfless, but striking a balance between the two. It also involves learning to be a little assertive and not get aggressive about it, learning to say no when you feel you are being walked all over.

Life comes with so many ups and downs we have to garner courage to accept life for what it is .When we do face up to it, confidence in facing whatever comes our way comes. Mistakes happen and we should just shrug them off as just that, mistakes to learn from and move on. Own up to faults as that makes you courageous and it also teaches you by trial and error.

Willpower is important as it gives u tensile strength to go through anything be it life or devious people. Willpower pushes you past guilt with determination and helps keep your attitude happy, light hearted and get beyond remorse.

Acceptance of life being a journey of ups and downs and that when the downs are done with the only way is up. This helps keep mind free and keeps one happy.

I feel most of us mess our lives being sentimental when we need to be sensible and practical. So we tend to blame everything and everyone else for the downfalls in life, well the step forward would be to detach actions from reactions and take responsibility for feeling the way you do. This would make one I guess logical, realistic and objective.

Often we flog ourselves for the mistakes we commit. Its ok to learn from them but mulling over them for too long ,often makes us lose out on being happy. Reliving mistakes just upset and trouble us thus hindering us being happy.

Staying optimistic is another way of staying happy. Believing in the divine helps us stay happy. Bursting into tears or giving up is not what helps. Always look at the positive side of things then it becomes easier to laugh.

Stop worrying. All problems look so much bigger and tougher to handle when you worry about the ‘what if’s. Well we cross the bridge when it happens. Anticipating trouble creates a fear which makes it difficult for one to stay happy. All we can do is put in our 100% effort and leave the rest to God. After that even if the results are not up to your expectations you will be happy for putting in your best.

Cherish your blessings .Always keep happy memories and thoughts in your mind instead of hanging on to sad memories. Look around and realize you are far more blessed than most others around you.

Surround yourself with things that make you happy. Maybe loved ones photographs where you can see it….maybe a painting or a work of art that makes you smile.Maybe your kids work of art.

Keep away from things or people who hurt you. For example when sad if you listen to a sad song or maybe watch a sad movie you will aggravate the sad feelings. So do the opposite and find ways of chasing away the blues.

Don’t feel bad about providing yourself with a comfortable life if you can afford it. Sometimes indulging in keeping yourself in comfort gives you a sense of wellbeing. There is no point in always sacrificing and being uncomfortable instead of being as comfortable as the others.

Money does give one a sense of security. So make sure you save enough and to spend wisely. It is true money is not everything but it is an important aspect of life.

Most part of our sadness is when we have anxiety and nervousness. One should remove these from ones mind to avoid continual worry. Petty cribbing does not help any either. Some problems are not ones we can solve, so it is easier to accept them as a part of life and endure the pain it brings.

Place a lot of importance on relationships which are harmonious rather than those that cause you pain. It absolutely is not worth sweating over people who evoke negative feelings in you .Instead invest energy on people who make you feel good and there is understanding with.

One has to hang on to positivity and let go of issues that are beyond our control. There is a greater power which controls everything and constant thinking of trouble creates a negative outlook that blocks happiness from coming to you.

The keyword here would be auto suggestion. Keep talking about how happy you are instead of going on n on about the cribs in life. When we do that we not only automatically focus on happy moments but learn to attract more happiness towards ourselves.

The last thing is to realize that you have the key to your own happiness. There are people who make you feel guilty for feeling happy but the fact is, when you are happy everything around brightens up. People around you get happier and in all it gets easier to deal with every hurdle in life.

Life is a big joke and one never knows what is going to happen to it next. So it would help a lot if you took life lightly and enjoy the ride as it comes .Stay happy, its well within our grasp

Taking things for granted. Well sitting down today, a curious thought entered my mind. As humans how often we take everything for granted. Till one day you lose it and only then do you realize the value of it. Take for example our health. Many of us often let go of ourselves not paying attention to what we eat , we don’t exercise, we neglect little illness, little aches and pains, till one day the body gives up on you. Don’t you think that’s taking for granted your good health.

Take for example relationships. How many of us do appreciate what our loved ones, family and friends do for us? Don’t we take them for granted , expecting them to be around us always. Though a few I have come across in my life who do express themselves I have noticed most just feel you are there always no matter what. Well what makes them feel that there is a guarantee? Marriages- well this is one relationship where the spouse is completely taken for granted.

John Lennon said “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans “I couldn’t agree more with this. We lose such beautiful moments of our life because we just fail to recognize the fact that once it goes away it never comes back. If we have done something constructive good, but if we have wasted it in being morose it’s a moment of happiness lost. Aren’t we taking the fact we are breathing for granted.

Maybe a change in attitude is necessary for us to look at life differently. The only thing constant in life is change so makes perfect sense not to take anything specially people for granted for you never know what is in store tomorrow.