Saanams Mind

Another year gone past. A year as ordinary as any other as extrodinary as any other. I have been sitting and reviewing  the past year, the roller coaster that it has been, the changes it has brought in my life, the growth , the new relationships, death of a few relationships.Changes within me as a person, attitudes, the way I look at life, the way I have decided on what should be my priorities in life and where I want to head. 

This brings me to  the NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS one decides  to make every year. Many of us wait for a start of the new year to start doing something. A few common ones being quit smoking. lose weight, spend quality time with family and friends,get organised,do some soul searching,finding a soulmate, reducing debts etc.

If properly handled and if committed to make it work then maybe they are worth it.They should be good for you and not detrimental  to another person.They should  be made for your happiness and wellbeing and not to intentionally hurt or upset others.Even if one makes resolutions they should be definite like ‘I will lose weight’ doesnt define what you should do clearly.’I will lose so many pounds or kilos’ will give you a definite goal to work towards.

I for one do not believe in New Year resolutions because for me everyday is a new day so why wait for the 1st of Jan to begin some good work when you can start doing it the instant you think of it. Anything you postpone to a particular date is just procastination and can never get done unless the intention to do it is strong. So I believe they are a waste of time and energy because most of us do not follow through. Why not make every week begining  a resolution day, why wait for a whole year….

Instead of resolutions for the whole year I think that for me it would make sense to get up each day and decide that I would give the best I could on that day and focus on developing myself to be a good human, to work on my weaknesses and to strengthen my strengths.Maybe that is what my New Year resolution this year is Not to make a resolution

How does one define success? Who is a successful person? Is it someone famous? Someone rich? Is it determined by the amount of property/assets one accumulates? To what extent? Is there a minimum bench mark that sets apart successful from the unsuccessful? 

In a conversation with a friend, we discussed our daily lives…our ups and downs…things we need/want to do in this life time and more… 

She was cribbing about how the money coming in every week/month was going out faster than the last and how any amount was not ever enough. 

What will you do if you were wealthier? I ask her. If you were actually “rich” in terms of money as opposed to being the regular middle class person, who works for an employer, has an income. 

Her reply? ‘I don’t really know! It’ll be cool though, won’t it? May be I’ll take a holiday and travel! Or may be just save it all up to buy a house or may be for retirement!’ 

Those are the kind of plans in life most of us have. Have one’s own house; travel a lot, I told her. 
But how would your everyday life really change? 

She blinked, once, twice…and said “I have no idea!” 
So then, if we have no idea why we want it in the first place, what will we do with more money when it arrives? 

When people tell me they’re really ambitious, I really don’t understand what they mean. Is there one definition that fits all ‘ambition’? Is it about the number of zeros in one’s income or about the title of one’s designation? Is that all there is to ambition or is there more? 

As far as I am concerned, success has less to do with money and more to do with being happy. There’s a life I’ve been given, which I slowly build upon. I live every day as it comes, and try to do the best I can…Yes I could use extra money too. But what would I do? Probably travel the world or just hoard a lot more books. But my every day life, will it really change? The things I do or don’t, things that make me happy? I don’t think so. 

And even if I don’t magically wake up with a million bucks in the morning, I can still get these things can’t I? I could still travel, still buy more books? Later than sooner may be, but it is possible right? And even if some plans don’t materialize ever, does it really have to affect the life that I live everyday? The happiness I can find in small things? 

I don’t understand why people do it to themselves. Always unhappy, always unsatisfied, always negative! 

If you can’t really afford a new car, do you really need to change the current one? Right Now??? Does your mobile phone have to be bought on credit card, costing thrice the salary you get? 

May be I am the weird one. Because I live in my own world, happy with the way things are, counting my blessings more often than not. 

My friend tells me, it’s easy for me to speak, because I’ve not had to “struggle” in abject poverty. My point is it isn’t about how rich or how poor one is. It depends on what one is able to do with one’s circumstances and how content or rich a life one can lead. 

Once I got my first job, I vowed to live within what I make, and not take a single penny for my parents. I live in an expensive place, but I got by. Comfortably. There is not a single thing I remember wanting to do and not being able to. May be because I want very few things! 

Even if we’re struggling to attain something, or get somewhere, on the way there, we can still be happy. Or is that too difficult? 

I don’t really know about other people…but a life well lived is a successful life. “Well lived” meaning, being happy, achieving contentment, even when one is making plans or en route to ‘bigger’ achievements. Because when I look back, there is nothing lacking. And when I look forward, I see that life will be what I make of it. That happiness comes from things beyond a bigger house or a second car or an expensive meal in a flashy restaurant. 
So no, even if I found a pot full of money, not really earned by me, I don’t think my everyday living would change. At all. 

Yes, money is important. Very important! We all have aspirations and places where we want to get, be it in terms of money or designations, or fame or something completely different…but while we strive to achieve whatever it is that each one of us wants, why can’t we be happy about where we are? Something like being so focused on the destination that we fail to enjoy the ride! 

Nothing against people who are ambitious or have set future plans, but ‘wanting’ is relative too isn’t it? Today I want to be able to afford a 29 inch color TV, tomorrow the aspiration will move to a plasma TV. Absolutely nothing wrong with it, but can we be happy along the way, while we get there? 

I rediscover life everyday, hanging by moments, memories, people, and places. And I find happiness. And a lot of gratitude for all that I have.

Although I pride myself in being an optimistic person and one who always looks at life as it comes, I do have moments where I feel the water is well over my head. In reality I cannot swim so the fear aggravates as I feel a whirlpool is sucking me in. But everytime there is something that pulls me up. Thinking about it….I think its called Hope.

What is Hope? Hope is the belief in positive outcome in any circumstance. It is the feeling that anything one wished for can be had .Or that every event will turn out for the best. Hope and optimisim are a bit different as hope is considered an emotional state where as Optimism is a well thought of conclusion to have a positive attitude.

Wont each of us be overwhelmed by despair if not for a emotion called Hope? hope is kind of a magic God has given us to give us an inner strength to get over upheavals. It is always present in all we do, we hope for a better tomorrow, we hope for a better career , we hope for our children, it makes us seek more, it makes us get over our fears and fight the down times we have in our life.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: “If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.”  I believe this is so true. Hope keeps that vitality for life…when you lose hope you lose the enthusiasm for life and give up easily. Hope is like the bright sunshine that promises a radiant  tommorrow.Hope to many is a lifeline that keeps you afloat when you are at a loss.

As they say he who has no hope of winning has already lost before the race. So let us continue to hope and bring in the liveliness in our lives back.

Terror has never helped any cause, never done any good, never brought about any revolution. Terror is nothing but a method used by some people in today’s world to instill fear, bully them. The recent terror attacks did all that and much more. It is an attack that has touched a chord in each of us, got us to think and got us to demand action.

The losses faced during the 60 hours of turmoil and after are irreparable. There is no compensation, no amount of apology and no amount of ‘political statement’ that can change that. The people of the world are asking questions, want answers, and are in need of explanations but will we get any of these? The people of the world want action; want reformation, those that are not merely for political reasons.

We talk about what to do and how to better these situations when the acts of terrorism are over with, this approach is clearly wrong. We need to talk and generate methods to stop these terror attacks from occurring, from curbing them before they do. We must attack these attacks from the front, not with weapons, not with bloodshed but with a united front, our intelligent minds and our souls, all together.

The answer to terrorism is not blame, it is change. The answer to terrorism is not fear, it is strength. The answer to terrorism is not hatred, it is being unperturbed by their attempts to divide.  We need to look past our borders, look past our religions and stand together to fight this terrorism, not only in India and Pakistan but also the world. We can do it; we just need to do without any hatred towards anyone. We need to stand together as Humans. We need to fight terrorism, not each other. We need to stop with the blame game and stand together to fight these people who have nothing but hatred filled in them.

Each of us can make a difference if we wake up and smell the coffee (and I don’t mean Starbucks!) If we are going to bring in a change, we need to do our bit to make a difference in the world. Instead of waiting and wanting our governments to do it, why not start with ourselves first? If each one of us can do our bit, this world would be a much better place.

I highly condemn these blasts and pray for peace in our countries and in the world as a whole. May the souls of all those brave men and women who gave up their lives saving others and all those civilians who lost their life in these ghastly attacks rest in peace. May God give strength and determination to their families to overcome their loss.