Saanams Mind

This morning, when I woke up, I read an article which thanked a special person for bringing about changes in a persons life. That article made me sit up and think of the number of times I have taken trouble to thank the people who are responsible for me being who I am, for the way I changed my attitude towards my life and  for basically giving me  the support and courage to face the demons in life.

Gratitude definitely brings with it so many things  as an added bonus.  I have seen that when you are grateful and appreciate all you have in life, automatically you start getting more things to be grateful for. It restores in us that faith that life has better things in store for us. It gives us courage to pick ourselves up from where we have fallen and move on. It heals our wounds and helps us rebuild ourselves with hope.

When you let some who made a difference to your life know it and you appreciate them, it not only does you a world of good  , as it keeps you well grounded and thankful but also makes the person you appreciate feel good too. Maybe your kind words may act on changing some thing else in that person and change their way of thinking as well. Maybe it will help them grow as well. So apart from helping you, gratitude also helps the person you are appreciate ,for it may give them the boost required at their times of need, a reminder that they have been on the right path, and give them the boost needed to go on the same way.

I decided that not a single day would i forget to be thankful. First of all to God for gifting me the ability to see, learn and understand  and change the things I feel I need to change in my life.

I today would like to thank a few good people for all they have been to me . I may not mention the names  here but I am sure when they read this , they will know who they are and how much I value knowing each one of them. They are my guides, my strength, my mentors, my support, my catalysts for a change of thought, my teachers, my hope, my courage and the ones who helped me become the person I call myself today. Without them I probably would be a weakling who would be scared to open her mouth and speak her thoughts. Without them I probably wouldnt have known that I had many hidden qualities that makes me ‘ ME’. This one is to my parents, friends, more than friends, sisters , brothers out there who made me feel am someone special some time in their lives.

I also want to say a thank you for the ones who did create a lot of upheaval in my life. The ones who crossed my path to put barricades and mess me up a bit because without them I never ever would have discovered how strong a human being I can be. Without them I would not have known how much I can take. Without them my belief in GOD  would not have gotten stronger and without whom I probably would never have realised that I should value the people who are precious to me. So this one is for all those who I have parted ways with for whatever reasons. Thank you  for teaching me what I should value in my life and for making me discover how strong I am.

I thank the person behind the article as it made me think n realise so much more.

God bless !

I just was going through a few forwards and  reading through a few so called jokes and  comments meant to be funny and wondered how one can stoop to such  a low level and call it a sense of humour.  I detest racist jokes, I detest jokes  made on certain communities, countries and I definitely detest anything targetting one person and making him the butt of  all jokes. Is that how sick a human mind can get, to laugh at someone just  to feel a tad more important or superior .

Laughter is supposed to do wonders to ones body and soul. But dark humour, ones that make a dig at a community or race, how funny can that be? I am  wondering  at people who make these jokes. Suppose the person or race who these are cracking jokes about, in the same vein made fun of you, you think you can take it in a light vein and laugh it off as a good joke? To me a good joke is when you can laugh with everyone not laugh AT  some one.

Laughter reduces stress, laughter regulates blood pressure, laughter regulates the hormones, boosts  immune system and generally contributes to a healthier you. So dont you think that laughter should come from a healthy mind , one that doesnt look at making fun of someone or belittling them.That definitely leans towards the working of a sick mind.

I think on the whole one should stop repeating or forwarding jokes that have a crass racist look to it. That way we are not  a part of some sick mind that feels making a joke like that is  sense of humor …  to me its senseless humour.

From a childhood unlike most kids have as our circumstances were different, a life in the hostel,to a broken relationship, to an arranged marriage into a very conservative family, to being bankrupt 2-3 times after business collapsed,Life has  been quite an experience  a journey most different . As I believe it, we are all born into predestined lives and no matter what one has to live life the way it was decided for us.

From when I was a kid, one thing I had to learn fast was if you dont learn to take happiness in little things, happiness will always elude you. So I grew up to be a person who came across to everybody as someone who never had a care about anything in this world, who probably has less of hardships that the others and most of the world had . Well my life does look like a fairytale to most and often have had to hear How lucky I have been.Well in a way maybe I am lucky because I realised a long time ago, being happy is all about a state of mind and it is in my control and I get to choose how and when I can be happy.

I learnt from my childhood to accept that life happens. What is expected to be the normal may not come to you. People have cruel tongues and enjoy hurting with crude comments not even thinking if an innocent child can be scarred for life . Well  was lucky that I learnt that people talk only till they find something else to talk about. My childhood taught me that in order to survive I had to toughen up and take life head on instead of hiding from circumstances.

The hostel life during my teens was another phase I most value. Thrown into a strange atmosphere at 15 , living with strangers , so many different personalities, a life in a safe small town to a big city with all its attractions, a chance to manage myself, my finances and a bit of freedom to make my own decisions. So what did I learn from this?  To survive . Inspite of gettin a lot of freedom I learnt what is right for me and what is wrong. Never to misplace the trust put in me by my mom to do what is right. I also learnt it takes different kinds to make this world and how to survive along with them even when you dont like them.

A broken relationship was another big lesson that came next.So was death of a family member. Well another reminder that life doesnt necessarily go the way you expect it to and yes carrying on with bitterness doesnt help any. Best is to look at the best times, keep them close to your heart and count your blessings that life gives you many chances. Its upto you to make the best of it. Heart breaks or losses  are speed breakers in the fast pace of life , they definitely slow you down but they dont stop the life you are meant to lead. What  else did  I learn? You never ever know anybody completely  & thoroughly no matter how close you are to them or how many years you have lived with them unless they want you to know it.

From a very unconventional family to a conservative family, my life led me into a path of adjustments. 13 years , 2 kids later am still trying to shape myself to fit in. Well what has this taught me, humans have to be adaptable and flexible, rigidity in thoughts and mindsets take you back many years and if you have to move forward one has to learn to keep ones mind real flexible . Being rigid means discontentment and unhappiness and one is not just  miserable but makes others miserable as well.

Kids and motherhood taught me patience to answer the hundered whys, hows, whens, whats and wheres that come up when kids ask them. Kids taught me what it is to nuture a new life within me and how beautiful  it is to get a new life into this world.Kids taught me what it is to be unconditional in loving and it also taught me that motherhood is hard work as it shapes up the whole life of the lives I have got into this world.

Going through financial hardships taught me that money is important and one cannot take it for granted.But it shouldnt become the only thing that drives you. It also taught me that if you have the grit , determination and hardwork with you along with a healthy attitude and want to succeed ,you will ,no matter what. It also taught me that hardships have so many lessons to teach you if only you are willing to learn from it.

Special people, special friends have taught me so much in life . They ,through their lives , their thoughts have taught me how courage, determination and positive thoughts can make life so happy. They have taught me what it is to be courageous and face all the downs in life . They have taught me to smile through  pain and that everything in life will just pass, They have taught me that memories are the only things that remain and it would do me good to count my blessings and cherish those memories.

That brings me to today. Today has taught me that everything in life is bound by changes. People change, relationships change, circumstances change and that remains constant is change itself. So best is to accept and move on. I have also found something divine in a special person  , a chance to explore the pure feeling called love , A blessing, someone because of whom I learnt what loving unconditionally meant and because of whom my whole attitude changed to a large extent.

For me that special friend’s hello in the morning & take care in the night is all it takes to keep a smiling face. Little things lighten my heart. Small gestures keep me glad. A simple chat with a loved one keeps me giggling. A phone call, a message from friends or family, a joke shared with my maid, a cherished  moment with kids and family is all that takes for me to thank God for giving me a great life.I am blessed that I am gifted with so many loving, caring people in my life. I am blessed with an ability to take on the best of what life gives and leave the rest. I am blessed with a wonderful circle of people who dont allow me to wallow in any kind of negativity and  most of all am blessed with children who are Gods special gift to me.

Here I am all set to face life as it comes. To face sadness the same way I face happiness. To treasure every single person in my life and specially the ones I have called special.

Wouldnt it be right to call me lucky to be so blessed? Indeed am lucky and I am blessed.

 Loneliness…a solitary word…yet has so much of a despair in it.A feeling of such an isolation that one cannot relate to much around. A feeling of being hurt, but yet wanting to be alone to lick our wounds.We look out for someone to reach out for us, if we reach out and they reject us, we retreat further.I guess at some point in our lives  most of us go through this feeling of limbo, belonging neither, here, there or anywhere. A feeling of being suspended somewhere where you exist but do not really live.

Its a pretty much frustrating a state of mind because all insecurities come to the fore, a feeling of sadness always, a feeling of not being of any use, of not being needed anywhere, a feeling of being inadequate.Though a lot of people have gone through it I guess admitting to it is difficult for many.Its a feeling that no one really cares anymore, its a feeling of not being understood by anyone. A feeling of being unable to fit in anywhere.

Ultimately snapping out of this state is in our hands…Its in us how we decide to fill this emptiness in us, either we let ourselves wallow in self pity and waste precious moments of our lives or we work on ourselves to get over it.One way would be to do things that keep our minds busy, take on challenges that stretch us to our limits.Do things that make us happy and keep us smiling. The best would be if we could make peace with ourselves and make peace with our circumstances .