“Superstition is a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge. The word is often used basically to refer to folk beliefs deemed irrational. This leads to some superstitions being called “old wives’ tales”. It is also commonly applied to beliefs and practices surrounding luck, prophecy and spiritual beings, particularly the irrational belief that future events can be influenced or foretold by specific unrelated prior events.`
Friday the 13th being an unlucky day, Spilling salt bringing bad luck, walking under a ladder proving to be unlucky, a cat crossing your way when on a journey making the journey an unfruitful one…all these old wives tales or basically susperstitions that have been carried forward for centuries. They have basically no roots, no proof, no explanations but are handed down generations after generations, just making their presence felt with the blind way people follow them.
In the subcontinent we do have some extremely bizzare superstitions one follows . Recently when the solar eclipse took place , one saw the news channels covering the wierd practice followed in a certain region in India where kids with physical and mental disabilities were buried upto their neck under mud of some holy shrine and left there for hours together, with the belief that they would be cured. They were not given food and water and it was heartening to see them crying and howling for water. I was watching the people crowding around the kids and not a single person seemed moved by all the kids plight. I wonder what kind of belief is it where people forget even basic humane qualities and follow them without a thought for children.
Another inhumane superstition a friend was talking about, spoke of a place where people ask for a child … a mannat…where in one prays to have a baby and when the child is born, the child thrown from about 25 feet height on to a cloth held below . Just imagine the torture the poor child has to undergo just because of the lack of education in the parents. Dont they sense the danger in the whole act? What if the cloth gives away? The very child they prayed so hard to get may lose its life.
While am a believer in faith, in God doing wonders when faith is strong, I do not believe in blind faith. Little harmless superstitions like not cutting nails in the night could have had some reason like a fallen piece of nail that goes unnoticed in the evenings can hurt n get infected when stepped on it. Eating curd and jaggery before going to do something auspicious are not that noticable or bad if followed as they form a part of traditions bequeathed but blind faith that cause harm to another life should be confronted and stopped as they are inhumane and anything could go wrong with them .
“The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.” and probably when it misses …its too late. As they say “Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother”.
She woke up to a day with a not so good, sinking feeling in her stomach.Yet again a wave of sheer despair evident in her eyes. How long should she live such a life of loneliness. Why couldnt she flush the past and move ahead with all she had. Her biggest problem being that she could not trust anyone with what was in her thoughts. If she did someone else would be hugely affected and she could not risk that could she?
She got off her bed and went about her daily motions as if she was pre programmed to do them. A bleak , slow listlessness seen in every moment. She feeds the other members of her family and then starts to dread the time she would be alone once they all left home for their daily schedules.
Now what?….the thoughts that trouble her, plague her are at it again.She is alone and no one to hide from.If she gave in the tears would never stop and if she held it in ,her heart would bleed tears of blood. What could she do now? Her head heavy and emotions haywire she sits counting hours till the family came back….atleast then she can immerse herself in their needs and not face her thoughts.
Each moment seeming like an hour, the thoughts surfacing again and again…how could they hurt her so…in between bouts of weeping and falling asleep in exhaustion, her days pass, till its evening.She gets up takes a shower and makes herself presentable .One by one they return and start making individual demands on her time.One or two of them noticing her red rimmed eyes asking her if she is well.She looks, smiles and brushes it off as a headache ….then asks herself why she has become this pathetic excuse for a human being …
Yet another day gone by…and she has a lifetime to live this way…could she pull it off this way each day?
Just wanted to share something that made so much of sense to me….
The Waves
“One moment you have shortage. . .The next you have excess. . .
One day you have nothing to do. . .The next you don’t have time to get it all done. . .
One day the refrigerator is empty and you are hungry. . .The next you have a half eaten meal in front of you and you are
stuffed. . .
One month you’ve got money to spare and you wonder what to buy..The next you’ve got a bounced check. . .
One moment you are full of energy and can’t go to sleep. . .The next you are drained and can’t get up. . .
One day you are the center of attention. . .The next you wonder if anyone knows you are alive.. . .
It’s the waves of life.
They carry us up and down and all around.Money, friends, your body, your relationships, your job, and the rest of the list, they all vary. They all go in waves. It took me a while to really understand the statement,”The Kingdom of Heaven is Within.”No commercial can show you that.
It’s the waves and there is no stopping them from the outside. You can only calm the inside, so that like a submarine, you ride deep beneath the waves.Though a storm is raging, you are at peace.Most are tossed and turned by waves.Some like the sub, ride deep beneath the daily storms in peace.Some simply surf the waves and have a lot of fun.Some drown.You can’t stop the waves; it’s the nature of the ocean of life.You can only choose which method you will use to handle them.You can be tossed like most.You can drown like many.You can surf and have fun while you can, but even a surfer gets tired and there’s nowhere to sleep on a surfboard.To ride comfortably beneath the waves requires a ship containing breath that is not our own.That ship. . .. . . is not crowded. Peace – Be Still “
Well there is a reason why we call it the circle of life, like the waves what goes around comes around, we rise, we fall, we climb up ,we climb down, we scale peaks and we fall into valleys , life never has been easy at all. Its like a cycle, good times happen and then the bad times come, we go through the cycles of day and nights in our lives too and like the above piece says, its ultimately how we ride the wave. Some happily, some sink, some are strong enough to survive the tsunamis of life as well …. Ultimately its all about attitude and the way we look at life 
Yesterday I had an unexpected but pleasant call from someone I have known for a few years now . Its not as if we speak to each other very often but we are acquainted for many years and have been thrown together many a time at some social occasions. What really surprised me was that she called me up to tell me that I was one of the few ‘genuine’ people she had come across in her life. This compliment was a lovely one to recieve and I was touched that someone actually took time out to call and tell another person that there were qualities they admired in them. Who does it in todays world ? I really admired that in that person and told her that I appreciated her gesture.
Made me think about how quick we are when it comes to finding fault in someone or making fun at another persons weakness, making some ones shortcomings a butt of all our jokes etc, we are very quick to point out negatives. But where do generous words flow when it is something good to talk about? The lady who called me pointed out she did so because she found so many people who are false and fake who say things just to get an affect or to look good in others eyes. She felt very few actually were without pretences and came across as those who really were as they seemed. “When someone says something” she said,” you are left wondering if they want something out of you, because thats how people operate these days.”
I just wondered why we as humans lose that goodness in us. The more we live on this earth, the more jaded and cynical we get. Yes , all of us have had bad experiences with people in our lives, but why does that have to make us nasty and judgemental towards all?? Does it hurt to say a couple of kind words to someone and make them happy? Do a few compliments that slip past your lip cost so much? Why do we hesitate to tell someone that we like something about them or just why do we fail to acknowledge what influence a persons presence in our lives may mean.Maybe the words you utter may just make someone happy and make them feel good about themselves So why dont we do it more often?
Anyone who reads books on self motivation , self help or Success would have heard of Napolean Hill, Rhonda Bryne, Earl Nightingale etc. All of them have a common idea running through all their books and its about making your dreams come true by holding on to one dominant idea and purpose long enough.
So the basic thought is you become what your mind tells you ‘you’ are. If you think you have got enough in your life , you will have enough, if you feel you are not confident, you lose more confidence and so on. So most of the self help books talk about using your thoughts and chanellising them to make them work to your advantage.
A predominant thought that rules your mind has to become your reality at some point in your life . Sometimes it comes fast and sometimes it comes a bit slow but it does turn into your reality at some point in your life. As the book ‘Secret’ explains it , it is the Universal Law of attraction which is at work here. You synchronise your mind waves with that of the energy all around in the Universe and that in turn chanellises energy to make things work for you.
It does not mean that you just think and wait for things to happen. But a thought is a trigger that sets off action. If it does not then the thought is not predominant or persistant enough for you to follow up on it. If there is no action followed up by the thought then there are no favourable results. You have to be stubborn about not allowing the thought to go away or about not allowing self doubts to creep in and water down the thought.
Now for the thought to be predominant and persistant and for it to work for you, it has to be a positive thought. The I can, I want, I will has to replace every I can’t, I don’t want or I won’t. If you look at it , the negatives always mean you have already given up even before you got started . So ultimately it boils down to ‘”YOU”. It boils down to what belief you have in “YOU”.It boils down to what “YOU” think and want to achieve.
As they say a Positive person always has most things in their life going exactly the way they want it to. So it makes sense to cultivate positive thoughts.”The difference between can and cannot are only three letters. Three letters that determine your life’s direction.”
So for me this works….. I believe in ‘Me’ I believe ‘ I Can’ and I believe ‘I Will’ make my dreams come true . For not only does it create a path of success in your professional arena or relationships but it also paves way for success in personal growth as well.
Hmmm just been gloomy days ,monsoons n rains all over, waterlogged roads and pitiful weather awakening the more woeful me to more sad thoughts . Well rains n my tears always walked hand in hand …well most of the time they did.
Just a coupla days ago made the first move towards peace and towards a ‘friend’ that was, with who I had an disagreement on something. I had not just my words thrown back at me but my duas for their well being thrown back at my face too. Well I was a lil upset naturally because I always believed prayers offered with a true clean heart and out of goodwill always are good . Felt a bit sad for this person too.Because their way of looking at the whole matter is so completely wrong…God help them …and keep them blessed. To me they are a prayer unanswered.
Prayers…I have written about my faith and belief in God and everytime I hit some stumble in my life my faith in God gets reaffirmed . I always have left things to God to handle when they get beyond me , when I feel I have no strength to do anymore and at this point in life I am just going along with the flow, not making my way or fighting the current but just floating along wherever life is taking me.Will I be able to swim against the tide for too long, I leave that to God too… He always has a greater plan in mind and every tiny fall, tiny stumble is designed with the greater plan in mind.
Till then I continue going with the feel of my heart, dealing each day as it comes not dwelling on anything much but passing that day off without collapsing …. After all when everyone leaves , He is the only one who makes sure he is holding your hand and leading you on.
{Ok … a note for my family n frenz who read this…what I write may not necessarily be what I feel…I may just be reflecting another persons pain… So please dont worry about me.. }
A choked feeling…there was no one around…… her sobs resounding…. what was that clutching her heart?? Pain had its claws so firmly holding on to her heart, she could feel the blood dripping…. she gasped , no voice coming out…. just choking garbled noise ….. none to hear her or help her… she was isolated, away from this world …away from human beings, tucked away in a lonely place she called her private space….all alone in her mind. Her feelings raw, exposed and shivering for they did not have anything that warmed it.
Did she want to continue with this struggle called life? Did she want to breathe anymore at all…. why should she…. ?? What reasons did she have to continue with this existence…What was left in her life??? A loneliness that surrounded all the time? A silence that killed, tears that seemed like it will never stop?? A completely battered mind, a physical and mental exhaustion that made each breath a struggle. Isnt it just easier to let her heart bleed to death??
Wouldn’t it be so easy to just…… just…. stop breathing? To embrace the peaceful sleep forever?? To just stop trying to breathe ?? She gasps loud…. what should she do… she has to decide now… right now.
The baby’s laughter wakes her up from her thoughts…. the baby deciding for her…. does she have any choice ?? She has to continue her struggle with every breath … her responsibilities staring her at her face …. she looks around and finds what she is looking for…her mask … there it was…her faithful companion. She dons it , her smile in place as its been past few months…life has to go on like this for a few years till her child can manage without her help. She drags herself to her mirror and looks .Perfect!!!!!!!! No one would see what was in her , she had managed it again……. till they looked in her eyes.
Eyes that reflected it all…. blankness,bleakness, emptiness, pain, hurt, disillusionment and sheer desperation. But who has the time to see her eyes?? Who reads them?? Who understands what she is going through?? NO ONE. Not a single person there to be her support…. no one to help her stand and go about life the way it should be lived. …. except maybe her false smile The smile that refuses to light her eyes up…. Maybe…. maybe one day she would be okay and make peace with life and what she faced but …. would she survive till that day???
I hope she does….if only …. if she only found strength to go on..
How many times do we criticise, demean, put down or just plain curse people without a single thought for the feeling human being inside. Without a thought that your anger may damage another person so much that they may just lose that zest for life. We leave them to figure out so many things for themselves, expecting them to make something of our reactions, make some sense of it. We get so judgemental,prejudiced and hell bent on making that person feel so small, so low we do not leave any room for any consideration or any room for compassion. In other words we allow our words to make them rot in a hell of thoughts without a care for the damage in their psyche.
We are infact a cruel selfish self centred race, most often not able to look beyond ourselves . I sometimes wonder if we stopped just once and put ourselves in another persons shoes , we would be forced to look at things in another way. We could probably undo a lot of the wrongs we do to another person. We probably would be able to help another person grow instead of killing all that is positive in them.
Are we frogs in the well that refuse to see beyond the well? Is our thinking so narrow that we manage to isolate and make sure in this whole wide populated world those people we criticise or demean find no one who helps them but are left fending for themselves. Maybe that person has another way of thinking, maybe their life’s experiences and circumstances have made them the way they are . Or just maybe …they are the way the are because it suits them to be that way.
We live in an unfeeling cruel and self centred world .One that is prejudiced, judgemental and believes in isolating, ostracizing and breaking people down to feel nothing good about themselves. If I have been a part of any such exercise I hope God forgives me and shows me the right way. If I have been that way I aologise.
To me Life is about learning and doing as much good you can..its about not hurting another intentionally .Its about my faith in God and in some goodness in people, but I do see shades that make me see and feel Life is not all that I see .Life has its cruel shades, its cynical, demoralising and narrow minded side too, one that makes one live like one whose soul has died….The cruel unfeeling world shows this side to everyone sometime or the other…can it ever change?
How important do you think developing and nurturing relationships are? I mean do you consider relationship building productive or an useless exercise ?? I was having an discussion with a friend and he was telling me the importance of relatonship building, not just to enhance our personal lives but for the professional lives as well. He impressed on me the need to build personal relationships with clients so as to develop that bond that makes the client choose you as someone to make business with and to build loyalty towards your business.For example …it is recession time here but our family business was hardly hit by it because we built a good relationship with our clients and the loyalty they had towards us made them continue with us as their vendors and not pull out… yes both made a few compromises but hey , in the end the relationship stayed.
Isnt that the truth, relationships make or break you. A person with bad interpersonal skills and bad communications, two definite skills needed for relationship building, will not be able to achieve as much a person who develops these two skills. A call on a birthday, festival or just a few minutes spent asking someone about their well being or family creates a kind of a bond where one feels that the person is taking an additional interest to get to know the person behind the name. That in turn draws that person towards you automatically.
Being a part of a huge but close knit family I realise the value of relationships as they are taken very seriously where I come from and we are taught the rights and wrongs in nurturing them right from an young age. I have seen how the family rallies around each other every time there is a personal crisis or death, how each one goes that extra mile to help another to tide over the bad times. If some one loses his job, the others are always on the look out to help him find another other … all this because there is a relationship, strong and steady built over the years.
In this fast paced life things have changed so fast that in our race to keep up we often find we have no time to nurture relationships. Its considered a waste of time or ignored for the lack of time. The trick is to make time . Reorganise your thinking and reorganise a few things about the way you operate to just take a few moments everyday to show some one they are an important part of your life and you consider them important enough to make a little time for them. To show that you care enough to think about them .Believe me it goes a long way in keeping the relationship going .Be it personal or professional.
How house proud are you??? Well I visited someone yesterday and was amazed at the beautiful way the house was kept , spic n span, beautiful things around and so beautifully colour co-ordinated . Reminded me of another home I visited which was so shabby I had walk over a few things strewn over the floor to find a place to rest my feet on. Being interested in house decor and the interiors of the house I guess that is what first catches my eye when I visit homes. Are we as house proud as we should be?
A clean neat look to any home makes one feel good about the place but if its sterile , all too musuem like with crystals all over, one can’t really feel at home as the fear is , if one sits down to relax may just wind up breaking something. A cluttered messed up home just about messes up my mind big time . I wonder how ones mind can remain clean , neat and organised when staying in a cluttered room. The most common excuse being children .
So for me its about having a blend.A neat home that has warm colours and a lived in feel to it.. with a easy comfort of allowing someone to relax . I feel we should make our homes and living places a reflection of who we are. A reflection of our personalities . So again I am kind of fastidious so for me cleanliness has to be a priority. I weep when I go into messy kitchens because it makes me wonder what I am putting in my mouth 
yeah many do make fun of me but when I cook the counters and the floors cannot be messy. 
So most part of my time in the kitchen is spent mopping and clearing up as soon as there is a spill or a dish is done
The other place I give a lot of importance to is the bedroom as we relax in there. The colours have to be soothing and conducive to sleep. It has to be pleasing , soothing, not too bright and I have noticed, light greens and blues, mauves help me. I feel a TV is a distraction in bed rooms as it keeps one awake ( Not that I sleep much… I require just 5 hours of sleep a day) but a TV nevertheless is a distraction.
Another place I have often noticed people neglect is bathrooms …. yewwwwwwwwwwww some of them may be a breeding ground for so many infections… I feel a place you cleanse yourself has to be absolutely clean, else what is the point in cleaning yourself in a place thats dirty hmm?? So wet bathrooms are a No No No.
The only clutter I allow in my house is the kids room as its their age to mess around and explore . I hope after checking on the rest of the home they will pick up pointers from me later in their lives
Well I guess the messed up home I visited left a sad image of disorganised people whose minds could be as cluttered as where they live. An image so strong it prompted me to write this .I feel in order to have clean, organised thinking, the place you relax, ,call a home should be the same It helps keep your mind streamlined and clear .. So it would help to be a little house proud wouldnt you say?
