Saanams Mind

“Death is a night that lies between two days”. ~A Jewish saying.

Some fear death, others accept it as a natural phenomena but nothing can ever prepare you for the loss of a loved one to death. They are never going to come back. Never will you see them talking to you, caring about you. Never will you again feel the warmth of their love, never will you hear their laughter again. Those moments that you shared with them are only going to be moments you treasure all your life.

A friend very recently lost their mom when she gave up her battle with cancer a few days ago and it brought back memories that were hidden under a surface all these years.Thoughts of an aunt who was more of my mother haunt me a lot these days. I lost her to cancer 13 and a half years ago . Even while they say time is a healer, have I really gotten over her death? The answer to this would be a no. A huge vaccum is created by her loss, something that never quite filled up even though each one of us who were a part of her life learned to cope with it in time. Tears still fill my eyes when I think of her.

Everytime I hear of death, mourning, etc, I ponder over this. Does one who tells you they understand really understand the pain you go through unless they have experienced the loss of a loved one? We tell ourselves we are accepting it and that we are coping but as I have seen it , in time it just gets worse when the shock wears off and the inevitable slowly sinks in. The person will never be a part of your life again except in our memories and in our hearts.Yes we learn to move on and accept but the pain always remains as a dull throb in our hearts.

Death always brings about many changes. Changes in relationships…so many break ….new ones are formed. Changes in individuals…for better…some for worse. There is lot we question about…where we are headed, maybe the futility of the lives we lead. How petty the issues that we consider huge really are…. the purpose of life… so many thoughts for which we seek answers.

No matter how much we prepare ouselves, we just can never be ready to accept death of a loved one. Even though it is the natural progression of life, the only way our soul knows to move on leaving the body behind, we are always taken unawares when a loved one dies. At a total loss , left without bearings even though we know it happens to each one of us.And it will continue to happen. Many times . But each time it is still a shock. An unbearable loss.

Maybe it is time to acknowledge that life has so much more meaning than the little things that bother us. We have been sent down to earth on borrowed time that is real short…shouldn’t we actually utilise this leased time in a manner that allows us to grow and do good instead of holding us in a time warp…bound by petty feelings of anger, misunderstandings, grudges and hatred??? Because ultimately if you really look you will see we all land up in the same place…below the earth . Death the great leveller makes sure that we go exactly the way we came …carrying with us nothing but the body we came with. So why not really pursue what we are born for .To love, learn, care and share.

Death of a loved one must be just that… a firm lesson to remind us to be grounded …for God is the one who controls it all .