Saanams Mind

Its really great to protect someone,  looking out for them, making them feel we are always there for them, making sure they do not make mistakes, and if they do cover for them. All of us would have done one or more of this for friends, relatives, people we care about at one point of our life. At the end of it we feel happy. But the question is should we? Lots of places, we get to decide what we do, and we decide based on our support system. Some do it based on the risk factor, some do it on instincts, some do it on advice and some they just do it. None of the above decision making methods can guarantee success, but some more than others have been proven more in the history, and again it boils down to a person’s nature to choose any method.

I have always looked out for people I care, and in many cases gone out of the way to make sure they do not end up making the mistake. But lately I have developed alternate thinking towards it. Lately there has been a lot of change and one is my approach. Recently, I have had some dilemmas, where I felt a dear one was making a mistake. A friend, A relative and A colleague. All three in different facets in my life. I do not want to mention the mistakes, as I do not want to offend them, In fact that was the whole point. As I choose, not to tell them. What I really felt about their decision. I realized, its important to let them make mistakes, they might suffer a problem or two, but it sure makes them learn. All the 3 people involved, I was sure they are mature enough to deal with their mistakes, and am sure they would come out of it more strongly.

Our society is guilty of too much looking out. There are too many people to tell you what to do and what not to. But if the person is not let to learn from the smaller mistakes, what would he do when he gets to face the real problems in life. Relationships, priorities and money all can be a big thing, but till one point of time in life, they can be corrected. But a person learning to fight his own battles, more than that owning up to his mistakes and overcoming it, is a bigger lesson to teach, rather then using the shortcuts and providing them with an answer.

Watch this video linked here ‘Your inner girl‘

I watched this amazing video which talks about The girl within each one of us. The part that cares, nurtures, feels, loves, is sensitive and is in all the emotional part of every human. Sadly that is the part that is the most suppressed , kept under control because it shows the vulnerable part of you. Yet it is the part that helps you overcome every tough time , every sad part, every tragedy and every hiccup you come across in life.

This video came at a time when I was thinking about this incident…a 9 year old little girl , raped and left to die in Goa. I wondered how a human being can be so insensitive so as to not to think of the little innocent child and can be so brutal and in human towards a helpless little victim. Yes probably we are to blame for bringing up kids to be insensitive by suppressing the part of us that feels. A part of us that cares and cries. It always is seen as a weakness. The” girl cell”Its that emotional part of us , that cries , that feels, that loves …We always are hard on people who show emotions, specially men by telling them its not manly to feel that way.Don’t we stop them from crying as kids by telling them boys don’t cry? Don’t we stop them from watching mushy love stories by telling them its too girly?? What makes us stop them from touching that part of them that is sensitive?

It is the same emotional part that gives us the strength to get over everything and start afresh with new hopes, with more love and with a new enthusiasm . It is that emotional part that teaches us to feel and be sensitive to another human beings pain, feelings and teaches us to care n love , to nurture and help others. It is that emotional part that makes us go a little bit beyond ourselves to make people feel loved, feel safe and that part which helps us bring a few smiles on faces.

Should we kill that ‘girl cell’ in each human and suppress the emotional part in each one to create inhumane , disgusting examples of human beings like the rapist in Goa ? I think Not. Am proud to be a emotional caring creature and Yes am Proud to be a Woman and will continue nurturing that emotional me.

Happy birthday Saanj, I don’t have the art of expressing my heart’s words..I just want to say you’r very precious and you will always be a good part of my life…May you be blessed with loads n loads of happiness and may all you wishes come true…and may you reach the heights and get what you want in life…Tons and tons of blessing and loads of loveeee from all of us.

To me you are an angle in disguise.
Full of intuition, intelligent and wise.
Always giving and helping through good times and bad times.
You are the best friend I’ve ever had.
If I had one wish it would surely be
to give you as much you’ve given me
Though I’ve put our relationship through some cloudy days,
you’ve been my sunshine in so many ways.
Though trials and tests, right by me you stood,
and gave me your hand whenever you could.
Thank you so much my sister, my friend
My gratitude for you has no end….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND DUAZ FROM BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
              aarzoo.

As John F Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. As a citizen of our wonderful country that is what each one of us should strive to do… work and contribute towards the betterment of our country, pay taxes without fail, vote for sensible leaders and support when things are right and protest when things are wrong. Keep the country clean, not just in the hygenic sense but also in the sense of keeping the country clean of dirty corrupt politicians and officials who are raping the country of her resources and looting her wealth thus not allowing progress. Support literacy drives and help fellow countrymen as much as you can.

That in the sense is true patriotism to me. Its not about fighting who is a hindu who is a muslim or a christian, who is a brahmin or a shudra, which caste I belong to or which I dont. Its not about taxi drivers speaking in marathi or kannada.Its not about we north indians and you Madrasis. Its not about globalisation or eating burgers or chinese. Its not about which state speaks what n eats what.

I think as a true patriot , one should just look at how you can go the right way, correct the wrong way we have gone , support education and help the less fortunate. Help each fellow countrymen and look at a far peaceful country, build better relationships with our neighbors and collectively strive together towards a more progressive thinking, progressively growing and peaceful country.

A Happy Republic Day to fellow Indians from me . I hope and pray that we move forward hand in hand towards a better understanding of what patriotism is and work towards making India a hub of peace n progressive thinking God bless you all!

A ray of sunlight touches my face ,warming me up slowly. I look into the distant horizon as the sun welcomes me to the new day. As I stretch my arms n wake up to a lazy day, the birds call out beckoning me to go n peer outside. As I walk allong the beach, the sea playing a game of touch n go with my feet, I listen to the sound of the waves , they calm my senses down, making it easier for me to sit n meditate.

A silent breeze touches my face
At last I see myself out of the race
For I feel no more out of place
Protected by all of Gods Grace.

The quietness around beckons me
For there is a lot to feel n see
To let myself stay n let me be
From my minds tangles set free.

Like the sea, the waves ebbing n retreating, thoughts in and out of my mind as I try and find a plane where I can just pray n be one with God. A sense of calm pervades my mind. Peace prevails, just the sound of waves and the birds chirp filling my mind , making me aware of the presence of Him all around. My salvation, my protector, one who always holds me dear to his heart. A drop of water touches my nose as my eyes open.

Across the earth silken ropes slant
The cleansing that’s heaven sent
Rains poured as if it was meant
To clean me ,who was totally spent.

On me as the rains lashed down
Wiping away from my face the frown
Refusing to let me go and drown
Or mope and cry in Sadness town.

I breathed in the scent of the freshly dampened mud, the aroma filling my senses with a new kind of enthusiasm .With the thought of my loved ones I opened my eyes to a new day with the sun shining bright.The bright hues of the flowers, the sea so blue, the gentle breeze as it ruffles my hair, as I walk through. The bees buzzing around my ear, the butterfly touching the rose, the sun winking at me through the clouds.

The clouds in my mind clears
As I join my friends my peers,
As the rain washes away my tears.
For I have no more demons or fears.

Its been a year today since my Hubby lost his mom n I lost my mom in law. Peace be with her.A year that began with her death n I never knew what storms were in store for me following that. So many things happened from the last year 24th Jan…I rather think of the year as a nightmare I woke up from, since I weathered through the upheavals and am still surviving albeit a few lesser smiles . In a couple of days time , I celebrate yet another new year of my life and I do hope n pray this year shows me a reflection of the person I was before last year. One who knew to appreciate the colors of the rainbow.What I wrote above was just a hand at trying and looking at the color in life Hope u guys like it.

Sometimes you ask yourself What is life? Are you living for some greater purpose or are you just here to live past a cycle n move on. I ask myself this very often. What is life? Sometimes I feel my life has no meaning. That is when I give myself a lil talk and the following is just that which I tell myself to pep up

What is life?

‘You don’t go to find meaning in life, you bring meaning to your life. The meaning of life isn’t something out there waiting for you to discover it. The meaning of your life is what you infuse it with -beauty or ugliness, happiness or sadness. It is totally your choice, and God wants it to be your choice because God gave you free will.’

For each person the meaning of life probably would be different..for each one finds their own paths.There are no rules…just a different lesson to learn as you make different choices.You meet different mentors who lead you at certain points of your life , You may follow them as their way may look strong to you when you are at a weak point of your life .

Then one day you just get totally lost, that tells you , you probably made a wrong choice, that you did not handle a situation well. Its a sign that you need to make some corrections. In a way its a good thing to happen because life is giving you a chance to set yourself right.So if you harness your best intentions and claim your desires, accept your strengths and admit to your weakness, explore and utilize your gifts and talent and follow your heart with love for all, you can be your best guide as to what choices you make in your life . That will lead you on a path that is best suited for you.

Choices ….they give life a meaning.If something doesn’t seem right, look for or create something to make it better. Giving up can never be a good choice.You have to risk rejection to go after what you want, you have to risk failure to find success. Learn to cherish not lament, find allies instead of creating enemies and instead of letting negative energy create fears and cripple you, invent and find positive things to fill you with purpose in life.

Don’t Give up….Just give more….that will help you get a meaning to life. What according to you would be the meaning of life?

There are often moments in your life that you never want to relive again – no matter what. It would be easy to just toss them out of your life and never let them enter your life again. Of course, that would be having a perfect life. But it doesn’t work that way, does it?

As the 2010 began, I made few resolutions that I will, inshallah, stick to this year. I wouldn’t say that January is a month of ‘change’ for me as I think we go through change daily and not in particular month. There are a lot of changes I made in 2009. Some happened due to circumstances and others I made myself, for myself. And I’m glad I did. I have been a better person since then. I have not looked back since then and I’m so happy because it’s given me a chance to look at life totally from a different angle.

January is not my favorite month. It’s the month I lost one of my dearest friend few years ago. Moment that I can never forget as I felt I couldn’t do anything to prevent it – though we were miles away. I never want to live through those moments again but life is strange. What we don’t want – happens and what we want – doesn’t. Few days ago, I got a similar message that I had gotten from my late friend. The message read something along the lines of ‘Be Happy always. Pray that God forgives me for my actions. You too, please forgive me.’ My heart skipped a beat. Does this mean that I think it means? Is it a joke to get my attention? All sorts of thoughts were attacking my brain. I just prayed to God at that moment to please not repeat those moments I’ve been trying to forget. It’s been hard enough. Especially because if this happened – it would be considered to be my fault as I’ve been told previously I would be the reason they would end their life.  It’s the worst thing you can say someone to, to give a blame to someone that one will live with.

If the above wasn’t enough, a dearest uncle met with an accident and ended up having brain hemorrhage. He has been in coma for a week now. Even though the brain surgery went Okie, we need him to come out of the coma. Again living my worst moments. Having gone through this multiple times with my best friend – it was déjà vu all over again. It not only came as a shock but it was also the moment I have been telling myself to never go through again. One week and still no response. My heart tells me he will wake up but my mind isn’t too sure. I have seen miracles happen and I have hope that I will live to see another miracle happen. I can’t go through this hell. It scares me every moment because I know the feeling of going through it and just praying for your loved one to wake up. The family is going through that right now. I wish I was there to tell them it’ll all be Okie and that I know what they’re going through.

Why can’t we relive the happy moments over and over instead of the worst ones?

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” Orson Welles.

Today yet another friend decided to shut herself away from all friends citing that she had to punish herself… keep herself away from her friends,.What am I feeling??? I lost yet another friend I shared every thing about me with.. One I trusted with n yes my trust is yet again shattered…. but I guess the heart is numb from pain. Immune and as I have not yet recovered from the happenings of last year… I am watching the illusion of me not being alone disappear yet again. My eyes are dry as my tears have run its course and if there was anything else left in me, they die a complete death today.

As the quote says, we are born alone, n live through an illusion to die alone. I guess so for me its just about waiting for the ‘die alone’ part left for illusions are just that… illusions n I woke from mine a while ago. Relationships are purely of convenience for a time. Words are shallow n are said just for a moment and then one fine day …Kaput….when you are utilized to the fullest they all disappear because they no longer need you. If this is not an illusion then what is ?

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”

Hmm But then you have another quote that says “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” Pearl S. Buck…:) Something to think about wouldn’t you say ?

Would I wither away??? Shrink into nothingness ???? Lets see.

A weird kind of fog settles around her. A haze of uncertainity, of confusion or more a disinterest in all that is around. A misfit that she feels she is , she wonders what she is doing still alive, still among people who just absolutely don’t give a damn. There may be so many who pray for a longer life, for a little more grace period to live, but she wonders why she is still here on this earth, why she hasn’t been knocked off for good.

As that mechanical smile, the mechanical actions of hers and the daily life moves on, listening to someone drone about the stock markets, someone talk about their children and then some discuss the current box office hits, a few waxing lessons about how to live ideal lives and more philosophies, she is drifting. She hears yet doesnt listen as her mind is asking her what are you doing here??? You don’t belong here…You dont belong anywhere… Maybe you just don’t ‘belong’.

A rat race called life. Is it worth the pain, the tears, the heart breaks, the fears? The silence seems more comforting than the noise around , then why not be claimed by silence for good?Everything on earth looks so superficial. A make believe, a fantasy that is no longer real. No real people, no real feelings. Nothing real except oneself. If you want to ‘belong’ think just for yourself .If you want to feel a part learn ’selfishness’ go after just what you want and forget the rest.’Myself’ that is the world…nothing beyond ‘Me’.

Is this what human life is all about she wonders. A race to get more for yourself? A race against yourself or a race against others for yourself…is there all there is to it? ‘Me’???

One day…real soon she will give it all up. She decided. Her relationships, emotional bonds, her life, her comforts everything and try and explore what it is to sacrifice ‘herself’ for the happiness of others. She will move ahead and work for those who need help…nothing for herself just maybe the satisfaction of helping another and being blessed by their smiles.

But is that selflessness?? Isn’t there an ulterior motive of seeking peace for herself there….??? Life..when was it ever easy to unravel???

A ‘Misfit’ she felt. A ‘Misfit’ she was.

Mother Nature yet again unleashes her fury, making us realise how tiny and helpless a creation we are unable to do much but just watch the devastation wrecked by yet another natural calamity. Haiti and the horrendous earthquake . The Tsunami a couple of years ago…the all so powerful Mother Nature surely sets the balance right when we humans play games with the natural balance. Just goes to say that humans ,the arrogant race that we are, are really a helpless lot and too small when it comes to Mother nature.

Reading and watching the Tv coverage about the Haiti earthquake , the reports that any hope for recovery this generation would be unrealistic, my heart just sank in. Here we are in our own petty small worlds so worried about ourselves and what we feel when so many thousands were suffering , losing their loved ones, livelihood , sometimes limbs too , left without a single ray of hope for tomorrow. A country for whom aid in the form of money is pouring in , but they do not have any resources to use the aid because everything is completely flattened, from the Presidents home to banks, hospitals, etc.

A really helpless,bleak,hopeless, hollow and pathetic pain overcame me as I watched it on TV. Being a firm believer In God and fate, a believer that every single thing happened for a reason, I looked at tiny kids buried in the debris, some of them still alive and ask God Why? What had they done to deserve this? What hand of fate is it that you took many little lives and saved many old and infirm? Why were their lives not saved ? God really works in mysterious ways and I guess from time to time, we need something to keep us grounded. To tell us that we are not as invincible as we make ourselves to be . A reminder that there is a force above ,in front of who we are minute creations, mere puppets who play parts designed for us.

Just a reminder to myself that “When we can’t piece together the puzzle of our own lives, remember the best view of a puzzle is from above. Let Him help put you together. “~Amethyst Snow-Rivers… I pray and ask him to Bless each one with courage, those who lost their loved ones and lost everything in Haiti , I ask Him to bless each soul lost in the devastation and help the country and its people rebuild themselves. Kindly help them cope and give them strength to go through each day. Ameen.

That said , I feel each should learn to be the best they can, do as much as they can, be as kind as they can and take as much happiness as they can from each moment.Develop a love towards one other, show as much love as you can and develop a kindness towards another. You never know till when you are here on this earth and maybe a tiny tiny gesture you show or a smile you bring on someone may be the last thing you ever do, or the last thing that ever touches their life.

Those of you who can help please do try and donate what you can ..Here is a Unicef link that you could donate to

http://www.supportunicef.org/site/pp.asp?c=9fLEJSOALpE&b=1023561