Loved Ones & Forgiveness

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A lesson life has taught me well is that there is nothing bigger than forgiveness.

Based on what you think is right and what you think is wrong, you think that you will never make a particular kind of mistake and you never forgive people who make that mistake. You don’t even want to hear their side of the story. And then one day, unknowingly, you make the small mistake, which looks like a big sin. Sometime you don’t even make that mistake but the person closest to you misunderstands you and thinks that you have because all circumstances and situation make it look like that you are the culprit, even though you are not. And then you want them to listen to your side of the story and expect them understand and to forgive and forget. But they don’t. You have not ten but hundreds of reason to justify yourself, all of them as authentic as your mistake and your plea for forgiveness, but it doesn’t matter. You change and everyone’s perspective about you changes as well. The people, who said they will always be by your side and will love you forever, change. They won’t listen to you; they don’t want to understand you anymore. They won’t forget. And why should they? After all, there is nothing in this world that can be termed as selfless or unconditional, especially not love.

You give your all to the one you love. You may give your life to a relationship. But it doesn’t matter. An investment of a long period of time in emotions, in love in everything is nil if you make even one single small harmless mistake because then, they do not see what you put in and how everything was just perfect, they will see where you went wrong. Not even the one you lived for.

Interestingly enough, the principle of “out of sight, out of mind” applies to every special moment you shared, every little happiness you shared, all the small things you did to make the other feel happy, every greeting card you dedicated to him/her, every occasion you celebrated together. But not the same in case of that stupid harmless mistake you made, as small as it may be.

It’s funny how it’s easy to forgive the people that you don’t care about, people you don’t love, people who don’t matter to you, and people who pretty much don’t exist for you. You don’t need them. But the ones you love, the ones you care for, the ones you need to be there besides you, are the ones you can’t forgive. These are the people you need and still you chose not to forgive them and cut them out of your life. The very people, who are your pillars of support, are the ones you can’t forgive. Though we will never forget them, though we need them, but we still prefer hurting ourselves. They made a mistake and we punish ourselves by separating and inflicting unbearable pain on ourselves.

Why? I’m not sure if anyone knows. I don’t and sometimes I wish I did. In fact I’m still trying to figure out why homo sapien is considered to be the most intelligent living creature despite its inability to figure out the basics of a relationship. Even a dog learns to forgive its master every time he/she forgets to give it food, shouts at it to give instructions or even beat it physically at times; simply in return of all the love and care the dog gets from his master. And what do we do, we the superior beings, the most intelligent of all?

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2 Responses to “Loved Ones & Forgiveness”

  • Saanj Says:

    Hmmm a wonderful topic for discussion Anam, How true when we are so quick to forgive others when it is our own why do we hesitate? Is it because it hurts more when our loved ones hurt us?? As I see it people are always quick to remember what is negative much much more than the happy times together , maybe that is why they hang on to the hurts more thus finding it hard to forgive & forget the ones who hurt us.Like you said we make our lives so miserable by not forgiving those who hurt us, because we do miss them & do want them in our lives but our ego stops us from forgiving them & we refuse to move on choosing to alienate them .Hehe well as for us being the ‘THINKING’ animals that we are, many instances we have shown that most of us use the gift called a brain in useless pursuits of pursuing what is destructive & negative instead of using it to build something beautiful & constructive .

  • BholiBhali Says:

    Very well written Anam, Nothing is better than forgivness hmm :) Someone said it so well that If you dont forgive others thats like breaking the bridge you maybe one say will be walking on yourself…

    If Allah who is our creator, who has granted us with so much, who has blessed us with so much when he can forgive us so many many times a day on our mistakes, then who are we not to forgive others who might hurt us little bit…? And not giving a chance to explain why, and not trying to find out the reason is a sin itself… Any1 dear and near deserves to be forgiven :)

    One shouldnt have unhealthy dose of EGO when it comes to forgive and forget, Life is way to beautiful for that! And beside No1 is perfect but Allah :)

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