How does one define success? Who is a successful person? Is it someone famous? Someone rich? Is it determined by the amount of property/assets one accumulates? To what extent? Is there a minimum bench mark that sets apart successful from the unsuccessful?
In a conversation with a friend, we discussed our daily lives…our ups and downs…things we need/want to do in this life time and more…
She was cribbing about how the money coming in every week/month was going out faster than the last and how any amount was not ever enough.
What will you do if you were wealthier? I ask her. If you were actually “rich” in terms of money as opposed to being the regular middle class person, who works for an employer, has an income.
Her reply? ‘I don’t really know! It’ll be cool though, won’t it? May be I’ll take a holiday and travel! Or may be just save it all up to buy a house or may be for retirement!’
Those are the kind of plans in life most of us have. Have one’s own house; travel a lot, I told her.
But how would your everyday life really change?
She blinked, once, twice…and said “I have no idea!”
So then, if we have no idea why we want it in the first place, what will we do with more money when it arrives?
When people tell me they’re really ambitious, I really don’t understand what they mean. Is there one definition that fits all ‘ambition’? Is it about the number of zeros in one’s income or about the title of one’s designation? Is that all there is to ambition or is there more?
As far as I am concerned, success has less to do with money and more to do with being happy. There’s a life I’ve been given, which I slowly build upon. I live every day as it comes, and try to do the best I can…Yes I could use extra money too. But what would I do? Probably travel the world or just hoard a lot more books. But my every day life, will it really change? The things I do or don’t, things that make me happy? I don’t think so.
And even if I don’t magically wake up with a million bucks in the morning, I can still get these things can’t I? I could still travel, still buy more books? Later than sooner may be, but it is possible right? And even if some plans don’t materialize ever, does it really have to affect the life that I live everyday? The happiness I can find in small things?
I don’t understand why people do it to themselves. Always unhappy, always unsatisfied, always negative!
If you can’t really afford a new car, do you really need to change the current one? Right Now??? Does your mobile phone have to be bought on credit card, costing thrice the salary you get?
May be I am the weird one. Because I live in my own world, happy with the way things are, counting my blessings more often than not.
My friend tells me, it’s easy for me to speak, because I’ve not had to “struggle” in abject poverty. My point is it isn’t about how rich or how poor one is. It depends on what one is able to do with one’s circumstances and how content or rich a life one can lead.
Once I got my first job, I vowed to live within what I make, and not take a single penny for my parents. I live in an expensive place, but I got by. Comfortably. There is not a single thing I remember wanting to do and not being able to. May be because I want very few things!
Even if we’re struggling to attain something, or get somewhere, on the way there, we can still be happy. Or is that too difficult?
I don’t really know about other people…but a life well lived is a successful life. “Well lived” meaning, being happy, achieving contentment, even when one is making plans or en route to ‘bigger’ achievements. Because when I look back, there is nothing lacking. And when I look forward, I see that life will be what I make of it. That happiness comes from things beyond a bigger house or a second car or an expensive meal in a flashy restaurant.
So no, even if I found a pot full of money, not really earned by me, I don’t think my everyday living would change. At all.
Yes, money is important. Very important! We all have aspirations and places where we want to get, be it in terms of money or designations, or fame or something completely different…but while we strive to achieve whatever it is that each one of us wants, why can’t we be happy about where we are? Something like being so focused on the destination that we fail to enjoy the ride!
Nothing against people who are ambitious or have set future plans, but ‘wanting’ is relative too isn’t it? Today I want to be able to afford a 29 inch color TV, tomorrow the aspiration will move to a plasma TV. Absolutely nothing wrong with it, but can we be happy along the way, while we get there?
I rediscover life everyday, hanging by moments, memories, people, and places. And I find happiness. And a lot of gratitude for all that I have.
December 27th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Basically its all about making peace with our selves, we crave more because money and possessions are a benchmark for most of us to gauge success. Once we really are at peace with ourselves money and possessions become un important and we really start enjoying life.The simple pleasures in life often are more enjoyable than the expansive ones!
Lovely blog btw, i specially liked the theme u guys have used.keep writing!
Zambeels last blog post..The Pakol Story
December 27th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Very well written and very sane way of looking at life anam. Success also is very relative a term.
Like you said for some people monetary success is success, for some fame and recognition is. But like you said success doesnt always mean happiness. So to some reaching some kind of a self actualised state is success.
Sadly people associate being happy with their ambition, monetary success and fame and name failing to realize that happiness is a state of mind and can be very well achieved in the small moments in the here and now.In the scramble for that something big that they assume will make them happy they forget to enjoy the little things that could make them happy now.
But as you say want can be a never ending one because a humanbeing is never ever satisfied with what he has. He always seeks more and in todays world materialstic things seem to be what is a measure of success.
To me like you said, learning to be happy with what you have been gifted with is success. I am,like you said not negating the importance of money, but I do not think that money or fame is the single most factor that determines success.Success is reaching a state of mind where you learn to take happiness in little things, success is when you work within yourself to be the best person you can be, to work on your weaknesses, to hone your strengths and to be a good human being.
January 12th, 2009 at 12:16 am
Great thoughts! Success has got nothing to with fame and money. One can be a very successful person without having any kind of money or fame because sometimes relationships are much important factor in success.
Like Zambeel has said, simple pleasures of life are often given more importance than any kind of monetary pleasure. If One goes after success in terms of wanting more than what they currently have, they can never really be happy with anything then as there’s always a ‘want’ for more and the greed for more.
Success if when you feel happy in your heart with what you have been blessed with. Many people out there have the money and fame but do not have the love and the relationship that one makes value life and success.
Great topic. Really enjoyed reading what goes on in your mind! Continue writing!
September 30th, 2009 at 10:46 am
I think this was a very interesting post thanks for writing it!