Time…does it wait for anyone?
Attitude, Family, Feelings, Life, Random Thoughts, Relationships Add comments ...
Such is our life…… so fragile. A death in the family and a lot of things came to a standstill. A call one lazy Saturday morning and then began the spiral of changes that came with the loss of a close family member. A vaccum created for the family members that probably can never can be filled again by anything or anyone .
For me it was a realization of many things… how people react in times of crisis, the value of bringing up children and teaching them how to be affectionate, how when push comes to shove many disappear and then the sheer futility of just focusing so much on the negatives of your life that you forget to enjoy your life or the happy moments that it brings along. Along with it I also realized how difficult life is when one is repressed emotionally for many years that even grieving for a loved one is not done .
As I went about my work , as many did disappear along their regular lives, I stopped to think why I had volunteered to do it when I was the least popular there. I realized that I always went with my heart and my heart said do it, stop thinking of yourself and this is the time someone really needs your help now. So I went on ahead and did it and I guess I realized what my strengths were, I realized when really pushed I could be as firm as the rest of them and more so every problem is as big as you want it to be .In spite of not being big on following rituals , I was the one nominated to do all the rituals. For someone who does not do much without knowing the significance I learnt a few things why they are done and began doing them.
With lots of time on hand, I got into the think mode, I kept thinking of the life of the person who had passed on, the little things she had done for people around her neighborhood, for the members of the family for her friends were all recounted by the people who came to mourn her loss. But among those who came were the ones who were negative, they remembered only the cribs this person would make on the fellow members and cry , all they saw was she cried all her life and went away.
Well each one of us leave behind imprints and I guess I learnt that life is so short, one day we are there , next we may not be , but the trick is to focus on what we count as blessings and get on with it instead of wasting life by focusing on what we don’t have.
Apart from that I learnt two things, the strength of people is seen when in crisis. Some who appear timid and quiet rise to the occasion, become the strength , where as the most those who are loud & appear to be leaders making a noise always turn out to be cowards , shirking their duties. Well funny how most true natures appear in times of crisis as this.
I saw ones on pedestals fall, some quiet & appearing as rug mats rise in my eyes.
To me this has been a good learning experience. I know I am headed for an another change in my life. May be more responsibility. I am learning to talk less, expect less and to just accept things how they are. The changes in relationships with family , with my friends, in general with everything in life. Nothing seems permanent. Everything an illusion and yes more people are just into themselves and self centered. Not bothered about threading on peoples feelings, peoples thoughts , if one is grieving, if one Is sad. Ultimately the individual deals with it all on his own
The person who passed on left behind a legacy of relationships, some which may strengthen because of their absence and some that may break as they had held them together, for now the void created so big that it cannot be comprehended until its experienced. But Time stops for none and life goes on .
So another milestone in my growth as a human?? May be.Afterall isn’t that what life is? A jorney of lessons from life to death.
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Very nicely written .. keep it up .. it’s true each such incident makes us somewhat wonder.. we aren’t gonna stay here forever..
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
How beautifully written saanj di. I’ve always believed that every relationship leaves some kind of a mark on us, each relationship teaches us something one way or another. We always find out who really meant something for us or appreciated our relationship only in the time of crises. You realize who your true relationships are. Isn’t it amazingly sad that we have got to lose one to gain one?
Every moment in life is a learning experience and I think for you to have to go through so much, during this time of crisis and deal with what you did – shows that you aren’t the kind to run away from crisis, you are the kind to take on a challenge and deal with it on hand rather than to ignore it.
Life truly has its way of showing us what it can do. We aren’t here forever, we aren’t going to be ever appreciative of what we are blessed with because we, as humans waste too much time cribbing and talking about others or making an issue out of things that don’t really matter. We are too selfish to realize that there is so much to appreciate, so much to learn from and so much to value. Like you said, it’s sad to think that there are people out there who would not appreciate a person who has left them, not realize what a huge lose they have just gone through.
Maybe with this persons’ leaving, some relationships will break but I feel more relationships will strengthen. Sad that this person had to leave for all this to happen, but I guess it’s a give and take kind of a situation.
Thank you for always being such an inspiration and always giving me something new to learn and accept about life. May God give you lots of strength through this time and to give you the courage to deal with old and new relationships.