Saanams Mind

Silence…… The walls closing in over me……silence…..but what is the mayhem all about??  Thoughts clambering all over one other to get me to take notice of them, the din they create in my head almost making me want to shut my ears out to them. What.. when.. how.. why…will it be ok… should I…could I… it will…May be..should have been…The words spinning relentlessless in my mind, creating thoughts that rule my mind  right now…their resounding noise and echoes making me restless.Constantly they process all that has happened, what is happening and what may happen tomorrow. I open my eyes, yes am all alone, but the noise doesn’t cease.

Some times I wonder  I seek silence but why is silence not seeking me? Sometimes I hide behind the noise and hustle bustle of everyday  noise ,is it just so that I dont face my thoughts? Keeping busy, music, exercise ,work…. the body moves and works but the mind…it lives in its own world, thoughts …present, past , future….words, memories, ideas, plans, dreams,facts…they relentlessly work on thier own totally disjointed from the actions of my body.

I wonder at the people who say they want to go far away. You want to go far away from what? The scene may change but your thoughts and your mind, your feelings they are a package deal, they  come along with you  where ever they go. Is there an escape from them? They remain with you no matter what.

Our thoughts, our beliefs, our mind….they decide what attitude we need to adopt in our life. Though we do not have complete control of what we think, we do have control on which thought can influence our behaviour. Often we wonder how God answers our prayers and wishes or sorts our confusions. God communicates through our thoughts and conscience. Sometimes in our lives, something within gives us direction as to what is right  and what is wrong….I believe that something is the voice of God telling us go on…take this path…this will be the right thing to do.

Silence helps regulate these thoughts. Silence can be painful when you hurt, as there is nothing that stops the thoughts from reminding you what is hurting you. Silence can be healing as thoughts can help you come to terms with what is happening around. Silence and Introspection gives one time to look at ourselves and see where and how we can change ourselves to be better humans. Silence and meditation can help you grow spiritually as you make peace between your mind, body and soul.

Are we real comfortable with silence? Why does it make some uncomfortable? I guess when you have time to yourself  you face up to your thoughts, no barriers , no lies to hide behind, The stark truth of who you are stares back at you and  sometimes the way you behave doesnt quite match up to who you really are and that conflict may make some run from silence and from themselves.But I feel silence speaks volumes and  one should learn from it.

Anam said something that made sense to me, she says its all because of society, how they pressurise you to be in a certain way and  behave in a certain way. They dictate on how one should be and that may be in opposition to what your mind maybe telling you. So the conflict in how you behave and what you believe, your actions and thoughts  creates a confusion that may make it difficult for one to face up to their thoughts in silence. Could be in a way true .Because silence makes you aware of who YOU are.

As Confucius said  “Silence is the true friend that never betrays.”