Saanams Mind

Thinking of all the people who entered my life and some who left it…what I learnt from every relationship and what I felt about them. My mind seems to be filled with these thoughts as some blasts from the past reminded me of  memories I hold  close to my heart.Hmm the complicated world of human relationships. A little bit of self talk always helps me put my life into the right perspective and  sort the cobwebs in my mind.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern . Beautiful people do not just happen.”— Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Isnt this true? People who have a lot of downturns in their lives turn out to be better humans for all their struggles and their loss.They probably develop a quiet sensitivity towards other humans and their sufferings, they are more caring, more warm hearted, more sensitive to others and since have been through a lot themselves are more a pillar of support to another. They seem to sense the value of giving time  to building relationships.

I wonder why relationships are constantly challenging. Would there be a day when I learn enough about relationships to keep it smooth sailing all the way? I mean make them happy relationships …. all of them, devoid of pain, conflicts or  disagreements? For as  I see it relationships make us who we are … They define Us  . They help create a ‘self’. So each and every relationship you have with another human is what shapes us to be  the ‘Me’ we call ourselves. So each relationship is special …unique and  a different experience.They are sacred because they help discover yourself.

Come to think of it most relationships of the romantic nature fail because one is looking at what will gain from the relationship more than what one can give   When one says ‘I was nothing till you came into my life ‘  dont you think it puts tremendous  pressure on the other to live up to that?They definitely wont want to let you down and will push themselves to be the picture you have painted of them forgetting who they really are… Thats when you say that the other person coming into your life completes you. Well that should not be the thing…. they should be the person you share that completeness with. Reminds me of the song ‘ U , Me aur Hum’ .The philosophy behind that song is so true. So if you shift the focus from the other to yourself and focus on what  you can do in the relationship to make it  as perfect as you would want it to be maybe then it may work.

So the only relationship that you need to truly work on is the one with your self. When you respect, love and have faith in who you are , the other relationships , all those associated with you will automatically fall in place and work out the way they should.

“It is not the action of another , but in your reaction, that your salvation will be found”

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