Saanams Mind

“I never know what I think about something until I read what I’ve written on it.”– William Faulkner. I guess with most of us its the same… unless a thought gets crystallized as words they actually are just waves of vague thoughts floating in the mind. The minute they get noted down, they become so clear to you

Okay, why this sudden thought you may wonder. I was going over the past year in my mind and though it as a challenging year for me as I went through a lot of emotional upheavals the past year, I wanted to look at what good came out of the whole year. I realized that there were a few things that I should be grateful for, even though on the whole it was a real bleak year for me.

This year gave me a lot of time to introspect… to look within and build a new relationship with myself and am ever grateful to God for this opportunity to look within, realize a lot of things about myself, both good and bad.

While I realized that even though I thought of myself as an impatient person, I had a lot of patience when it came to ‘push’ I am glad that circumstances taught me that I had that strength in me to hang on to my temper, patience and actually keep quiet even when I had things to say and was pushed to the extreme. My silence in a way strengthened me a lot.

I realized a lot of strengths in me that I didn’t know I actually had. Like forgiveness, not holding on to resentment, not getting bitter even when life hands over lemons, and most of all belief and trust ,not just in God but in who I was, my belief systems and my feelings and thoughts. I really am grateful to God for keeping that intact in me.

I thank God for giving me a chance to surrender myself completely to him, to believe he knows whats best for me, for believing that every action of mine, every circumstance that I went through , all had to happen as it was his plan, something that he fated to happen for there was a bigger purpose in it for me . I thank Him for not making me regret anything that has happened in my life for every action has been led straight from my heart and its because He willed it

I am grateful for the chance to travel a lot, meet a lot of new people, experience new cultures. It opened up so many new vistas for me as my mind broadened out a lot. I feel this year taught me a lot about acceptance in every way.I also am grateful that I learnt to rely on myself, to take responsibility for my feelings, actions, reactions and also my happiness…:) No one is permanent in this world and no one stays with you forever…everything is temporary, promises empty, trust an illusion and all these have meaning only when it is in relationship with yourself and no one else. So while the going is good, the wise would just hang on to those happy moments and cherish them for it only takes a tiny moment to change it all and show you the other side of the coin.

A wonderful year where the family business is concerned and a lesson that hard work will pay off no matter how many falls you have to get up from All you need is belief in what you do, an ability to sweat it out, risk it and take a chance and put your all into it…. God and the universe pushes you to get to the goal .

Goodbye 2009….I thank you for all you put me through for I feel you helped me grow a lot more and taught me a lot more about myself, helped me build a better relationship with myself as I had focused a lot on others the previous years. Thank you for giving me a chance to face up to me, to life and the ugly truths, change what I had to, accept what I had to, for strengthening me and for helping me hold on…. all this without losing hope and trust

Welcome 2010 and I hope you will be kinder to me than the year that just went by.

Happy New year folks and may God shower his choicest blessings on you the coming year, make your dreams come true and help you grow as an individual.