“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” Orson Welles.
Today yet another friend decided to shut herself away from all friends citing that she had to punish herself… keep herself away from her friends,.What am I feeling??? 
I lost yet another friend I shared every thing about me with.. One I trusted with n yes my trust is yet again shattered…. but I guess the heart is numb from pain. Immune and as I have not yet recovered from the happenings of last year… I am watching the illusion of me not being alone disappear yet again. My eyes are dry as my tears have run its course and if there was anything else left in me, they die a complete death today.
As the quote says, we are born alone, n live through an illusion to die alone. I guess so for me its just about waiting for the ‘die alone’ part left for illusions are just that… illusions n I woke from mine a while ago. Relationships are purely of convenience for a time. Words are shallow n are said just for a moment and then one fine day …Kaput….when you are utilized to the fullest they all disappear because they no longer need you. If this is not an illusion then what is ?
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.”
Hmm But then you have another quote that says “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” Pearl S. Buck…:) Something to think about wouldn’t you say ?
Would I wither away??? Shrink into nothingness ???? Lets see.
January 20th, 2010 at 5:38 am
there is not so much contradiction in my head as there is in these greats who say things and then die!
January 20th, 2010 at 6:11 am
The above quote by Orson Welles is one of my most favorites as I feel it defines how one go through life all alone. But remember when Hamza once said that no human is ever alone because he/she ALWAYS has God. It always comes back to me when I think that I have no one, I'm all alone. I realize what my brother said and how right he was. I don't need anyone, all I need is God. God is the only one who'll never be selfish and He'll never leave me alone. I can turn to him, beg him, cry to him, laugh to him, at him – do whatever I want without having a broken heart.
We all go through these phases of people leaving. Sometimes we make the decisions to leave and keep away from our friends, the ones we depend on so much. Sometimes that little space is needed for little bit. I have been through those moments and in fact I have been going through the same phase eve now. The friend of yours who has decided to shut herself away from everyone maybe needs this space to collect her thoughts, to analyze what and who matters to her and what she needs to do for herself. And I know for sure that she'd never leave you. Both of you are each other's pillar of strength. Even if she shuts everyone else out, she'd never shut you out. Not for too long anyways.
So don't think of last years happenings – those situations and circumstances were different. Help your friend through this phase and bring her out of whatever she is going through. I know you can do it and she can as well.
Also remember – we (you and I) are the kind of people who use even the loneliness to our advantage
So don't give up. Love you loads. Hugs.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:39 am
True Said AD
they confuse you more dont they 
January 20th, 2010 at 8:41 am
Hope so sweets n I know each one needs space … I just am vary now i guess to trust anyone but God
N yup I am using the time to my advantage n am planning things that can work on me to become a better person so lets see 
Luv U too n cant Thank God enough for you , Shona n Maddy . Huggs.
January 25th, 2010 at 10:04 am
"Sometimes we make the decisions to leave and keep away from our friends, the ones we depend on so much"
So true. We have to be away from those we cant even think that life can be led without them.
Sometimes we have to do it for ourselves, sometimes for others.
Just as i took the decision to be away from one i feel contend with and happy. But yesterday night i thought of giving up because eventually i have to for the other one, or for me or maybe for both of us.
Please pray that i stick to this decision of mine and helps me and the other one and give me peace of heart.
January 25th, 2010 at 12:08 pm
They say set something free, if it comes back its yours, if not it never was.Don't you think there is truth in it?Somethings letting go brings in so much more . It brings in clarity to relationships, sometimes strengthens a few and sometimes breaks a few of them. I hope and pray you have the strength to keep to your decision and hope that in someway we can help you handle the pain of the parting. I wish you get both peace of mind n in your heart.