Saanams Mind

Some songs that touch my heart. Some others that have some old memories attached to them…all of them form a part of me . Just felt like adding them Click on the names if you want to listen to them .

Dil Tadapta hain by Mehndi Hassan Just when I heard this I kind of connected to this one ..somehow I felt that I could relate to the song. The lyrics are just amazing and I feel was written for me Aarzoo this one is for you and me.

U, me aur hum What do I tell you about this one Its really so so special to me & one I will cherish all my life. Shona n Anam this one is for us n will always be ‘ours’. Luv u 224.

Mumma by Kailash Kher Reminds of my sweetheart bachha Shona . She made me so teary with this one so many times .Love her.

Agar Tum na hote I share special memories with Anam on this song.. something just tuggs at my heart when I hear this one.

Aaja Meri Gaadi Heehee this one is for my Maddio bachha .. I still wait for that trip u gonna take me on, in your car. Hope we dont crash anywhere luv u.

Mere naina Sawan- Kishore A lot of memories attached to this one too . Amazing track that chokes me every time I listen to it.

Ghum hei kisike Pyaar mein Another amazing track n one I hold in my heart.

Gum sum Ye Jahan hei- Jagjit Singh A lovely one that Anam n me often shared a liking for . Love u gurl n miss u.

Bas yahi Sochke Just one of those Favs that I listen to often.

Roz Roz Ankhon Tale Special because was the first song sung by Shona for me

Chuimui si tum……….Memories hmm… only they stay with you …

Lean on Me A song I kind of love for the lyrics for that’s what I promise each one of my friends … Lean on me… hmm at times , I wonder if all of them would say the same to me. I know Shona , Anam , Aarzoo , Maddio n Macherie you do ..:)Thank you for being with me .I value what you are to me.

Jag soona soona A state of mind I am often in these days

Anam I could not find Gayee kaam se haye ye ladki for you . I guess there is something about Music that keeps one calm, that bonds, that makes you relate to one another. Music touches one soul and brings about a pure feeling from within . Many more songs , meaning a lot to me have not been added as the list can get endless. Enjoy the ones I have put up!

Happy birthday Saanj, I don’t have the art of expressing my heart’s words..I just want to say you’r very precious and you will always be a good part of my life…May you be blessed with loads n loads of happiness and may all you wishes come true…and may you reach the heights and get what you want in life…Tons and tons of blessing and loads of loveeee from all of us.

To me you are an angle in disguise.
Full of intuition, intelligent and wise.
Always giving and helping through good times and bad times.
You are the best friend I’ve ever had.
If I had one wish it would surely be
to give you as much you’ve given me
Though I’ve put our relationship through some cloudy days,
you’ve been my sunshine in so many ways.
Though trials and tests, right by me you stood,
and gave me your hand whenever you could.
Thank you so much my sister, my friend
My gratitude for you has no end….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND DUAZ FROM BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
              aarzoo.

Browsing through friendship quotes and reading Shah Rukh Khans tweet about his friends I just came across a few quotes that kind of stayed with me as they reflected on the one relationship I value a lot …Friendship…more so becoz it is the one relationship you get to choose who are your friends. Every other relationship happens by default I dedicate this one to my friends as they are the backbones of my life.
Maybe instead of calling this post as Quote “friendship” I Should have called it “Court” Friendship as a life without them is lonely

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“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. “~Henri
Nouwen

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. ~Dave Tyson Gentry

A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues to be a friend unchangeably. ~William Penn

The friend who holds your hand and says the wrong thing is made of dearer stuff than the one who stays away. ~Barbara Kingsolver

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust
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On that note I thank God for gifting me with people who value me, my thoughts and have always been by my side, in my heart, being my strength and encouraging me, sometimes with words, sometimes in silence, egging me on, willing me not to give up, keeping my faith, hope n belief alive.Keeping me strong when I am ready to give up and making me believe in myself. I thank them for correcting me when am wrong and having it in them to tell me upfront when they feel am headed the wrong way. For accepting me as I am, sans pretenses .I thank them for making me laugh n laughing with me , for sometimes making me weepy and yet crying with me They make my life so special that my life has color because of having them with me. Bless you my friends ….May God give you Good health, peace, happiness , success and a zest for life. Love you n always keep you in my prayers.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.”– Anonymous

Isnt that true of friends….some of whom we make a ‘forever’ pledge with…. but does forever really exist.??? I dont think so. People change, circumstances change and people may drift apart no matter how much people respect each other or care for the other .I wonder what can really drive a wedge between two people who were inseparable before. I gave it some thought and here is what I feel can seperate friends.

* Other relationships -While some friendships are not tested by these changing dynamics, a lot of friendships fail when a third person enters the relationships.There can be a ganging up or speaking behind the back that can mess the relationship.There can be a competition for attention.an entry of a third person can cause a slight change in the relationship.

*Love and Marriage-Its amazing how everything changes when one of the friends fall in love. Suddenly they are always unavailable to you even when you need them the most . Even worse if one is single and the other gets married. They may prefer to hang around with other ‘couples’ rather than a single friend. The priorities shift and while two people mature enough can handle it, most dont…losing friends , unable to balance the new entrant in their lives.

*Children – Children demand a lot of time and attention and throw any household out of sync … making sure the parents schedules are planned according to their needs. This puts the parents out of touch with friends as people without the responsibility of kids can indulge in a lot of activities like concerts, nights out etc …which parents of lil children may have to put on a back burner for a while.

*Lifestyle changes- This can make friends move apart too. For example when among two friends who liked drinking together ,one gives up drinking…the other may not like it. They may have been buddies in college and in time each may drift into different habits while one may stick on to the same . Its only but natural for them to go different ways.

* Moving- When distance instead of making hearts grow fonder can drive the two apart. Specially college buddies who move away to start their careers always mean to keep in touch but the excitement, drive and ambition can create a distance, the geographical distance playing a part in it as well.

*Different paths- Sometimes friends who choose different paths have nothing in common to talk or share about… they may have less of a common ground to share on. Time changes them…they go different paths so they drift away from each other.

* Grief- This one is something that changes a person the maximum. Grief can in someone bring in so many changes…some for the better..some for the worse. Anger, disappointment, hurt,
helplessness all these associated feelings with grief can change one within while the friend watches feeling utterlly helpless and unable to help in anyway.The friendship may suffer as a result.

Nothing in life is a constant except change. With change most of the dynamics of a relationship changes….I believe a true friendship that is meant to last does as it goes beyond these superficial changes in life. It lasts if the two people involved want to make it last. I have had a few friends from my kindergarten days with whom I share a friendship for over 33 years. We still gel as well as we did years ago. I have real close buddies from the past 3 years…with whom I have been through a lot and they have been there with me every step of the way….
I believe anything is possible if you apply your mind to it completely. So are friendships. If you want them to last they will provided both want it to. Those who leave..they are precious jewels in the chain of memory we treasure.

What do you think changes the dynamics of a friendship sometimes?

Over the years I’ve met a lot of people in person and online. Friendships have been formed… some have faded from sight, some simply fell apart as our paths took us in opposite directions, some were broken due to fights, and lucky some are stronger than ever.

It was a slow realization but it hit me today that really the people I’ve been turning to lately haven’t been my old friends.

At one point over the past few months I had one of those old friends tell me that she didn’t feel like she knew me any more. Part of me, of course, wonders how well the ‘older’ friends really know/knew me to begin with since I was so closed until more recently. I think that the dissolving of some of these relationships lately has been because I am more open, I am more positive, I don’t hold back, and maybe it’s just too much. My opinions before were stated but often muted a bit… but were still considered to be blunt, when now it’s been upped a few notches to what I really think… I don’t believe in sugar-coating, never have and probably never will.

Really though I’m finding that a lot of people don’t like it when you’re straight-forward about what you think or believe. We live in a society, it seems, where people prefer you to lie to them so they can believe whatever it is they want to believe instead of being faced with what you really think. That’s not the kind of friend I prefer though – I’d much rather have one who I can always know where I stand with. We might not always agree, things might not always be pretty – but it’s not glossed over and watered down or, worse yet, just completely false. I can handle truth, but absolutely feel ill when I find out someone’s going to different people with different stories (and there’s always someone who’ll do this – sometimes though you find yourself disappointed by the one who decided to play all sides of the fence and pretty much just screw everyone over).

It was in evaluating my friendships with a few people that my thoughts began coming down this road, but that’s not to say that it’s all pertaining to any certain individual or individuals. My thoughts to this point really have been very general, and as they’re beginning to feel more specific I’ll end. One thing, though, is for damned sure. Right or wrong I’m true to myself. I never pretend. What I say is what I really think and feel.

To reflect this though I’m trying to change a few things in my life and that includes cleaning up a lot of things. If I’ve not had a real conversation with you outside of few comments here and there in a while or there hasn’t been some sort of other interaction you’ve been removed, regardless of how long I’ve known you or the type of friendship we’ve had in the past. I have decided to start afresh & so in order to do that would want to start off with only the people I have a personal connection with. I don’t mean to make it personal, so please don’t take it as such. I feel that I would rather relate to people I connect with no matter how my relation ships have been in the past.

If you think you can relate to the new me and want to connect with me, you are more than welcome to do so.

It’s funny how you meet people that you absolutely do not like. They seem annoying and stubborn. You think the worst of them in every way. You have all these horrible opinions about those people. Yet, you just stick to them, listen to their views. Somehow you can’t break away and you have to deal with them one way or the other. They possibly don’t listen to you, they object to everything you say to them and in a nutshell they drive you nuts.

About 3-4 years ago, I came across two people like that who now happen to be two of my best friends. Yeah, I still wonder how that happened! There was a time when I used to wonder about these two people, in fact, I used to think how one of them must have ego issues and is very ‘I’m-all-that’ kind of a person and now the first people I would turn to in happiness and sorrow is them. You guys would be shocked to know that one of those people happens to be Saanj di – yup, the other half of Saanams. The other being Renu or Shona as she’s famously known.

These two girls are two of those perfect people whom you think only exist in either movies or in your own fantasies. Sometimes they seem too good to be true. I know it’s a cliché but I don’t have words to describe the way they brightened up my life. Sometimes, just by being there and sometimes appreciating the little adorable things in life. Both of them have this tendency not to dismiss the “little” things. They have this perfect way of making you feel better when you want to cry your eyes out. In fact, I think the only two people who have seen me in all moods are Saanj di and Shona. Shona is exceptional at making you laugh when you need to feel cheerful and coming up with the most amazing things to say or do. There has never been a time when we have called each other and never laughed till we cried. Saanj di is like this mother-figure to both Shona and I. Always there to listen to you and give you the best advice out there. She may not agree with you at times but doesn’t judge or imposes her disagreement on you.

I just want them both to know that there is a friend who truly cares about them and they are always in her thoughts & prayers.

Silence seems to be the only companion I feel like trusting these days…. Why does it always seem that when you are stronger for your life’s experiences a huge wave comes and sweeps you away…. off your feet leaving you at a loss, no bearings, completely lost ….where do I go from here? What actually am I born for? How many more times do I have to hurt before I finish my life’s lessons and move on….Am I really so weak in my heart that I am suceptible to believing in love, in relationships,caring and sheer emotions when there is no such thing as pure feelings in anybody? Why am I again fooled into believing people are as I am… transparent, caring from their heart and honest.Silence shrouds my pain, I am wordless because what I feel in me is not just hurt, it is disillusionment, disappointment and a feeling of utter helplessness as I watch what I believed as the truth turn into a story of sheer fake emotions… of just what it really was mere sounds uttered as words, not actually felt from the heart as I believed it to be.Manipulation of emotions and circumstances to suit ones own purpose.

I am at my computer… music playing but speakers muted, staring blank at the screen, a million things on my mind.How many more such tests would I be put through before I learn that trust is not something you give easily? How many more such falls before I learn not everybody value friendships and relationships? How many more tears before I learn to smile again? How many more sleepless nights before I stop caring enough? How many words would I have to hear before I find one that truly means what it says? Am I losing faith in all that is pure? Am I losing faith in all that made me smile? In all that made me believe in another human. Would I ever go back to being who I was? Would I change? I guess I have changed I have learnt the world is not as beautiful as I made it look. People change according to their convenience… if you are not smart enough to accept it they just in a blink…. discard you as a person. It doesn’t matter that you were a part of their life once,it doesn’t matter their actions hurt you,  it doesn’t matter they said that you were a blessing in their life and would be precious to them all their life,…..  to them they were words, just a few sounds uttered to make you feel good …not because they meant them the way you do when you say it.

Would I change, become cynical? I just ask myself…. How many more??? Will I ever learn? Is it really worth it all….

Silence beckons… maybe I just need to stop believing…stop feeling…in other words stop living and learn to just…just exist.

“Superstition is a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge. The word is often used basically  to refer to folk beliefs deemed irrational. This leads to some superstitions being called “old wives’ tales”. It is also commonly applied to beliefs and practices surrounding luck, prophecy and spiritual beings, particularly the irrational belief that future events can be influenced or foretold by specific unrelated prior events.`

Friday the 13th being an unlucky day, Spilling salt bringing bad luck, walking under a ladder proving to be unlucky, a cat crossing your way when on a journey making the journey an unfruitful one…all these old wives tales or basically susperstitions that have been carried forward for centuries. They have basically no roots, no proof, no explanations but are handed down generations after generations, just making their presence felt with the blind way people follow them.

In the subcontinent we do have some extremely bizzare superstitions one follows . Recently when the solar eclipse took place , one saw the news channels covering the wierd practice followed in a certain region in India where kids with physical and mental disabilities were buried upto their neck under mud of some holy shrine and  left there for hours together, with the belief that they would be cured. They were not given food  and water and it was heartening to see them crying and howling for water. I was watching the people crowding around the kids and not a single person seemed moved by all the kids plight. I wonder what kind of belief is it where people forget even basic humane qualities and follow them without a thought for children.

Another inhumane superstition a friend  was talking about, spoke of a place where people ask for a child … a mannat…where in one prays to have a baby and when the child is born, the child thrown from about 25 feet height on to a cloth held below . Just imagine the torture the poor child has to undergo just because of the lack of education in the parents. Dont they  sense the danger in the whole act? What if the cloth gives away? The very child they prayed so hard to get may lose its life.

While am a believer in faith, in God doing wonders when faith is strong, I do not believe in  blind faith. Little harmless superstitions like not cutting nails in the night could have had some reason like a fallen piece of nail that goes unnoticed in the evenings can hurt n get infected when stepped on it. Eating curd and jaggery before going to do something auspicious are not that noticable or bad if followed as they form a part of  traditions bequeathed but blind faith that cause harm to another life should be confronted and  stopped as they are inhumane and anything could go wrong with them .

“The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.” and probably when it misses …its too late. As they say “Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother”.

Were we really friends??? Isnt this a question we ask ourselves when things go bad with some we have shared a closeness,  a relationship or friendship with?? We wonder if it was a figment of our imagination… something that was an illusion and  was not true.

What actually forges a friendship? An ability to share who we are with another person who does the same and there is mutual respect and understanding between the two along with care. Acceptance of who we are is also a part of it.An ability to even show a side of you that is not appreciated much and still have the comfort of knowing the friend would still acccept you with all those quirks. But do these friendships last without the care and nurturing one has to give it to make it last?

Nope , it doesnt….one has to give time, effort and care for any relationship to last.It just doesnt grow without attention and care. Sometimes it does seem real hard to do so but one has to put in the effort if it is a valued relationship. Caring, sharing, attention, time, nurturing . All these make up the special ingredients that are necessary for the growth of the special relationship called friendship.

Life is not about people who act true to your face…..its about people who remain true behind your back.  A relationship does’nt just shine by shaking hands in good times but it blossoms by holding firmly in critical situations.

Sometimes its so hard  to watch the ones you love and care for go through hard times and even though you are with them , when you are helpless to make any difference in their situations. Those are the  times I just wish I had a magical wand to make a little bit of difference in these peoples lives. Sometimes these situations bring in a gap between the relationships. Sad  that it has to happen…. but I keep telling myself times wont be this hard again and though things may never get back to how they were , they cant get any worse than they are right now. I just hang on to the thought that no matter what, they are important relationships and people to me and I love them and pray for them… no matter what.

Maybe am  an idealist or a person who lives in hope , but for me Once a friend…  willalways be one. They are sacred relationships and ones that need a lot of patience and comittment and nurturing. Forgive, forget and move on … for when a door shuts another opens up to pave way.

Logic defies relationship. I am not sure how many people agree with me. A little strong, or so the words may seem. But I bet many of us out here would have wondered at least once “what was I thinking…?”

Relationships and me do not gel well. I always think there are two kinds of relationships..I call them “Relationship by birth” and “Relationships whose birth you cannot trace”.

Everyone has relationships by birth. Father, Mother, Sister, Brother, Grandparents and so on. They are something which come with ones birth. I am aware of some cases where even wife and love has been from birth. But thats totally a diff subject.

The other kind is what I am more interested in. One day out of blue you realize that Wow he was like a brother to me, A sister I never had, Leader I look upto, I need not even tell her and there she is for me, All this sounds a lot cheesier then really it is. Trust me on this.

How many of us, connected with a person you are related to distantly, so much that as we grew up, wish to go back to that one month where we spent time together. Just the concern towards a person or the one the other person had towards you makes you say, A sister I never had…I have been thought by many teachers throughout my education. And I respect some a lot more than others. There has been a lot of cases where I have hated a person. However, 17 years down the lane when you totally lost track of that one person who made a lot of difference to you. Don’t you feel like saying “Wish I could talk to her once.”?

“Friends” is a way too special term to me. Just cannot attach this to someone. But then the word has been spoilt, just like words “Uncle and Aunt”. Every person older to you is an uncle, similar way everyone you say hi to cannot be a friend. But then there are some special people whom you wish can stay with you longer and talk to, give you answers to what ever question you have. And just be there for you.

This one is not very common, and ego has a lot to do with that. We always have problems and need someone to provide you answers, As kids there is always your father and then as you grow up its your friends and then finally when you are an adult, You need someone to stand by you whenever you have problems, This is not just problems with life, You need to help you out when you have problems with a particular subject or you have a problem at work, you need somebody there for you.

I have had many “guru”s who I always have believed know everything. And will help me in any problem.
But All the way along till now. there is one thing I missed totally. All these have been “You” centric. The “Relationship by birth” is atleast two way, But the problem comes with the second type. It need not be necessarily be a two way. Thats what hurts the most. When somewhere down the line the other people forget to return the relationship.

Disconnect.. What a word. How would you disconnect with your friend/sister/teacher/leader ??. The answer might be dark.. But just the fact that disconnect is most common thing as the relationship ages.. makes me come back to my first statement. Logic defies relationship..

I just want to turn around and thank to all those people who have been unknowingly helping me as a friend/sister/teacher/leader and so forth.. and say apologize to all those where I could be the person who has disconnected.