Saanams Mind

For a long time now I have believed people who resort to extremism n violence, ones who kill random innocent people all belong to one community.A community that follows a religion called terrorism. They are not people who believe in God for God does not teach, preach or ask his followers to take the path of hatred , violence or killing. God’s way is the way of love and those who believe that believe in God . They are hindus, muslims, christians, buddists , jains or maybe even humanists. I believe people are good or bad first regardless of the way they choose to pray n reach out to God.

And then comes along a movie like My Name is Khan that rendered me completely speechless.It not only reflected my ideology, but the way the movie was made, superb acting by both Shah Rukh Khan n Kajol, excellent dialogues just got me very very emotional. While Rizwan played by Shahrukh endears us with his character , Kajol is just being herself a superb actress Every supporting role is well performed and all in all its a great movie .

But what really touched me, is that interpersed with the love story is a message that should come across to everyone that each one of us is a human being first and later Muslims , Hindus etc. We should look at each other in the way Rizwan looks at each one …pretty simple…just good humans and bad Its just that simple.

I just hope it reaches out n touches hearts in the way it did mine and people do learn from it…just not to get too carried away with this huge division we create amongst ourselves based on caste, creed, religion, color and nationalities. For beneath it all we are born the same way, are made up of 2 legs, hands, body, hair , blood, skin n bones, we need to eat to live and in the end we die the same way. What really matters is how good we are to the people who are around us, how many hearts we touch with our lives , our kindness , love and care. How many lives we make a difference to positively and how many faces we bring a smile to.

Hope each person understands that for thats how simple life is…even though its not that easy.

I read a story sent by my hubby that kind of moved me a lot n dampened my eyes . I thought sharing it here would in some way inspire people to believe in the healing power of love n so here it is. I hope you find it as endearing as I did.

SHE NEVER LEFT MY SIDE
© Michael Segal

Push…Puuush!” I called out to my friend, but it appeared that there was no use in trying anymore. My car was stuck in the mud, and I was on a double date. I was just 16 years old, and I wanted to make a good impression on my pretty and intelligent date. However, hearing the motor rev with the car still stuck in the mud did not earn brownie points for my friend or me in the eyes of our dates.

We continued to push and push, but there was no getting my car “unstuck” from the mud. Sharon, my date, was revving the car’s engine while Jeff and I were pushing and pushing. Finally, I said, “Enough!” Embarrassed, I approached Sharon as she sat behind the wheel of my mother’s red station wagon. Before I could speak I noticed the gear on the car: It was set on neutral!”

I set the gear to “drive,” instructed Sharon to wait until I gave her the signal to press down on the accelerator, and then went back to help Jeff push the car out of the mud.

That was our first date. Even though I got mud on my slacks, I had love in my heart. I was “stung” by the Love Bug.

Sharon and I dated seriously throughout high school. I went away to college as Sharon was finishing her senior year in high school. Our love, which was blooming, was only matched in size by our long-distance telephone bills.

The next year, Sharon joined me at the University of Texas. We were so happy. We thought we were on top of the world. We thought our lives were set. That was true until that eventful evening when in a split second our lives changed forever.

On February 18, 1981, we were studying at the library of the University. It was late, and Sharon told me that she had to return to her dormitory to go to sleep. We slid into my car and headed toward her dorm, but, unfortunately, my gas gauge was registering “empty.” I pulled into a nearby convenience store, borrowed $2 from Sharon, and walked into the store to pay for the gas.

Things do not always work out as one plans them. Unfortunately, the store was in the midst of a robbery, and one of the thieves forced me into the cooler. He followed me, pushed me to the floor, and calmly shot me in the back of the head-execution-style! The story does not end there. Yes, the criminal thought I was dead, thus eliminating any witness to the crime. However, when the thieves left the store, I still had a faint pulse.

Very few people believed I would remain alive much longer. That is why the police transferred my case to the Homicide division. That is also why the neurosurgeon, when he was awakened at his home to see me at the hospital, came quickly but returned home, as he believed an operation would be futile.

However, when the doctor returned to the hospital in the morning, he was shocked to see that I was still alive. He told my parents that an operation was necessary, but he added that he would be surprised if I survived the surgery.

I fooled all of the medical experts and survived the surgery. However, the surgeon warned my parents that even though I was still breathing, I would probably never be able to communicate with anyone or understand anyone who was attempting to communicate with me. Basically, the surgeon stated, I would be “a vegetable.”

Hearing those words, my father told Sharon, “Get on with your life.”

Sharon quickly replied, “Mike is my life.”

Even though we were not yet married, Sharon believed in the vows, “in sickness and in health.” She dropped out of college for one semester to be with me at the Rehabilitation Hospital in Houston where I was eventually transferred. Sharon was spending her time with her “drooling boyfriend in the hospital” while other college freshmen were spending their time at parties.

Eventually, Sharon returned to Austin to continue her college education. Once again we had enormous phone bills. My goal was to also return to Austin, to the University of Texas, to be with Sharon. Eighteen months after no one thought I would survive, I accomplished that goal. One of the primary reasons was … Sharon, my love, who refused to give up or give in.

Four years after returning to college I graduated. For me, that meant I could finally propose to Sharon, my light at the end of the dark tunnel. She was the one who would always encourage me to look forward and not to focus on the past.

On a beautiful day in May, Sharon and I exchanged vows and were married. We were meant to be together. We had dated for nine long and eventful years, but I realized at the wedding that it was worth everything. Sharon was truly my soul mate.

We have been married for many years and we have a beautiful daughter, Shawn. We have experienced so much-some bad, but more, much more, good. This is not just a “love letter” to my wife but the story of a girl’s overcoming everyone’s “rational” thoughts to stay behind with her critically injured boyfriend. To me it shows what kind of woman Sharon is–a beauty inside and out. Further, it shows the lesson of not giving up on one’s dreams. I give Sharon all the credit for my recovery-not me. I don’t know where I would be without her-definitely not where I am today.

{ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Michael Jordan Segal, who defied all odds after being shot in the head, is a husband, father, social worker, freelanceauthor (including a CD/Download of 12 stories, read with light background music, entitled POSSIBLE), and inspirational speaker, sharing his recipe for happiness, recovery and success before conferences and businesses.}

Sometimes when life throws you a googly and you question everything…including love, a story like this motivates you to look at life different and inspires in you a belief in love again Hope it does do something positive for you too. God bless!

These words can be very very potent in damaging ones self confidence, self esteem because the premium is always on winning. Whatever you do,the pressure to win is so high, be it learning something new, doing something, the fear of losing is so much. No one wants to hear those dreaded few words..”You are a loser”.

Even deep down if you look at it and know since winning and losing are such relative terms and its not all that bad to lose sometimes, we still fear the term’ to lose’. We are in such a competitive world its always trying to win over someone else. This is not to glorify losing but sometimes losing is what keeps you grounded to the realities in life. Losing may make you gain so much more than winning all the time. It teaches you patience, teaches you endurance and gives you a strength to face the pain of losing.

To maintain a balance one has to both win some n lose some. That is how cosmically a cycle works. It helps cultivate a different perspective to looking at things . So maybe being called a loser is good at times as it teaches you to accept your defeat gracefully as well as embrace your achievements with deep humility.That is the secret of happy togetherness …no purpose, no outcome. Just an ‘otherness’ that enhances ‘togetherness’

So are you a loser? It definitely is good for you sometimes

I have spoken about silence before in some of the earlier entries and as I see it most of us fear the silence and fill it with noise. Oft late I have been contemplating on taking up Vipasana meditation… that is a camp for 10 days where you spend time with yourself and nature, without external interference of noise, music, phones,tv etc and where you dont talk with anyone. Its a way of spending time with just yourself and your thoughts, with nature …being alone. Its a way of just discovering more of yourself and coming to terms with yourself ,your circumstances and your feelings and making peace with them.

Being alone …when we actually find ourselves , it becomes a privilege and not a punishment. All the good work and your concentration comes from when you are alone. All your dreams dreamt when you are alone. Your best ideas come when you are alone,your solutions to all problems, your creations, your thoughts of wanting to make a better world come when you are alone . You see art and hear music better when you are alone.

Its the time when you drop all pretences and are completely true and bare naked with yourself.It is that time when you are in touch with your innerself. A time when you are most receptive to your innerself, a time when you connect to the higher energy that runs the world. A time when you speak to God and when God speaks to you.A place from which you absorb a lot , to fortify your spirit with grace, forgive your ineptness and fills you with a new resolve. A time when in silence, you can find the echo of your true intent.Its the highest place I think I can aspire to be .

Sharing your aloneness takes trust. It means revealing the innermost working of your heart and can expose you to the risk of indifference or the frustration of not being taken too seriously. It means risking the pain of not being heard when you want someone to listen to whats in your heart.It means allowing another ( it can be just one or two and definitely not more) to look into and know you as you are, without any masks, pretensions but as the the person you are ,with yourself. This is the heart of intimacy.Being intimate is being with another as you are with yourself .It means exposing yourself completely .It entails loving yourself and then loving another.

Knowing this is sacred and the risk you take sharing that ‘Sacred aloneness’ is a big risk , more so because if you are rejected for showing your true self because the other did not understand you, or just didn’t care enough to understand, you tend to recoil from the world, feeling your trust is misplaced, broken and the world is just empty or hollow .Though the thought scares me I wonder if I can learn to love being alone. Can I learn to share that aloneness with someone again? Maybe I can work first on learning to love being alone

Does the thought of being alone scare you and would you risk sharing that aloneness with someone?

Its really great to protect someone,  looking out for them, making them feel we are always there for them, making sure they do not make mistakes, and if they do cover for them. All of us would have done one or more of this for friends, relatives, people we care about at one point of our life. At the end of it we feel happy. But the question is should we? Lots of places, we get to decide what we do, and we decide based on our support system. Some do it based on the risk factor, some do it on instincts, some do it on advice and some they just do it. None of the above decision making methods can guarantee success, but some more than others have been proven more in the history, and again it boils down to a person’s nature to choose any method.

I have always looked out for people I care, and in many cases gone out of the way to make sure they do not end up making the mistake. But lately I have developed alternate thinking towards it. Lately there has been a lot of change and one is my approach. Recently, I have had some dilemmas, where I felt a dear one was making a mistake. A friend, A relative and A colleague. All three in different facets in my life. I do not want to mention the mistakes, as I do not want to offend them, In fact that was the whole point. As I choose, not to tell them. What I really felt about their decision. I realized, its important to let them make mistakes, they might suffer a problem or two, but it sure makes them learn. All the 3 people involved, I was sure they are mature enough to deal with their mistakes, and am sure they would come out of it more strongly.

Our society is guilty of too much looking out. There are too many people to tell you what to do and what not to. But if the person is not let to learn from the smaller mistakes, what would he do when he gets to face the real problems in life. Relationships, priorities and money all can be a big thing, but till one point of time in life, they can be corrected. But a person learning to fight his own battles, more than that owning up to his mistakes and overcoming it, is a bigger lesson to teach, rather then using the shortcuts and providing them with an answer.

Watch this video linked here ‘Your inner girl‘

I watched this amazing video which talks about The girl within each one of us. The part that cares, nurtures, feels, loves, is sensitive and is in all the emotional part of every human. Sadly that is the part that is the most suppressed , kept under control because it shows the vulnerable part of you. Yet it is the part that helps you overcome every tough time , every sad part, every tragedy and every hiccup you come across in life.

This video came at a time when I was thinking about this incident…a 9 year old little girl , raped and left to die in Goa. I wondered how a human being can be so insensitive so as to not to think of the little innocent child and can be so brutal and in human towards a helpless little victim. Yes probably we are to blame for bringing up kids to be insensitive by suppressing the part of us that feels. A part of us that cares and cries. It always is seen as a weakness. The” girl cell”Its that emotional part of us , that cries , that feels, that loves …We always are hard on people who show emotions, specially men by telling them its not manly to feel that way.Don’t we stop them from crying as kids by telling them boys don’t cry? Don’t we stop them from watching mushy love stories by telling them its too girly?? What makes us stop them from touching that part of them that is sensitive?

It is the same emotional part that gives us the strength to get over everything and start afresh with new hopes, with more love and with a new enthusiasm . It is that emotional part that teaches us to feel and be sensitive to another human beings pain, feelings and teaches us to care n love , to nurture and help others. It is that emotional part that makes us go a little bit beyond ourselves to make people feel loved, feel safe and that part which helps us bring a few smiles on faces.

Should we kill that ‘girl cell’ in each human and suppress the emotional part in each one to create inhumane , disgusting examples of human beings like the rapist in Goa ? I think Not. Am proud to be a emotional caring creature and Yes am Proud to be a Woman and will continue nurturing that emotional me.

As John F Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. As a citizen of our wonderful country that is what each one of us should strive to do… work and contribute towards the betterment of our country, pay taxes without fail, vote for sensible leaders and support when things are right and protest when things are wrong. Keep the country clean, not just in the hygenic sense but also in the sense of keeping the country clean of dirty corrupt politicians and officials who are raping the country of her resources and looting her wealth thus not allowing progress. Support literacy drives and help fellow countrymen as much as you can.

That in the sense is true patriotism to me. Its not about fighting who is a hindu who is a muslim or a christian, who is a brahmin or a shudra, which caste I belong to or which I dont. Its not about taxi drivers speaking in marathi or kannada.Its not about we north indians and you Madrasis. Its not about globalisation or eating burgers or chinese. Its not about which state speaks what n eats what.

I think as a true patriot , one should just look at how you can go the right way, correct the wrong way we have gone , support education and help the less fortunate. Help each fellow countrymen and look at a far peaceful country, build better relationships with our neighbors and collectively strive together towards a more progressive thinking, progressively growing and peaceful country.

A Happy Republic Day to fellow Indians from me . I hope and pray that we move forward hand in hand towards a better understanding of what patriotism is and work towards making India a hub of peace n progressive thinking God bless you all!

A ray of sunlight touches my face ,warming me up slowly. I look into the distant horizon as the sun welcomes me to the new day. As I stretch my arms n wake up to a lazy day, the birds call out beckoning me to go n peer outside. As I walk allong the beach, the sea playing a game of touch n go with my feet, I listen to the sound of the waves , they calm my senses down, making it easier for me to sit n meditate.

A silent breeze touches my face
At last I see myself out of the race
For I feel no more out of place
Protected by all of Gods Grace.

The quietness around beckons me
For there is a lot to feel n see
To let myself stay n let me be
From my minds tangles set free.

Like the sea, the waves ebbing n retreating, thoughts in and out of my mind as I try and find a plane where I can just pray n be one with God. A sense of calm pervades my mind. Peace prevails, just the sound of waves and the birds chirp filling my mind , making me aware of the presence of Him all around. My salvation, my protector, one who always holds me dear to his heart. A drop of water touches my nose as my eyes open.

Across the earth silken ropes slant
The cleansing that’s heaven sent
Rains poured as if it was meant
To clean me ,who was totally spent.

On me as the rains lashed down
Wiping away from my face the frown
Refusing to let me go and drown
Or mope and cry in Sadness town.

I breathed in the scent of the freshly dampened mud, the aroma filling my senses with a new kind of enthusiasm .With the thought of my loved ones I opened my eyes to a new day with the sun shining bright.The bright hues of the flowers, the sea so blue, the gentle breeze as it ruffles my hair, as I walk through. The bees buzzing around my ear, the butterfly touching the rose, the sun winking at me through the clouds.

The clouds in my mind clears
As I join my friends my peers,
As the rain washes away my tears.
For I have no more demons or fears.

Its been a year today since my Hubby lost his mom n I lost my mom in law. Peace be with her.A year that began with her death n I never knew what storms were in store for me following that. So many things happened from the last year 24th Jan…I rather think of the year as a nightmare I woke up from, since I weathered through the upheavals and am still surviving albeit a few lesser smiles . In a couple of days time , I celebrate yet another new year of my life and I do hope n pray this year shows me a reflection of the person I was before last year. One who knew to appreciate the colors of the rainbow.What I wrote above was just a hand at trying and looking at the color in life Hope u guys like it.

Sometimes you ask yourself What is life? Are you living for some greater purpose or are you just here to live past a cycle n move on. I ask myself this very often. What is life? Sometimes I feel my life has no meaning. That is when I give myself a lil talk and the following is just that which I tell myself to pep up

What is life?

‘You don’t go to find meaning in life, you bring meaning to your life. The meaning of life isn’t something out there waiting for you to discover it. The meaning of your life is what you infuse it with -beauty or ugliness, happiness or sadness. It is totally your choice, and God wants it to be your choice because God gave you free will.’

For each person the meaning of life probably would be different..for each one finds their own paths.There are no rules…just a different lesson to learn as you make different choices.You meet different mentors who lead you at certain points of your life , You may follow them as their way may look strong to you when you are at a weak point of your life .

Then one day you just get totally lost, that tells you , you probably made a wrong choice, that you did not handle a situation well. Its a sign that you need to make some corrections. In a way its a good thing to happen because life is giving you a chance to set yourself right.So if you harness your best intentions and claim your desires, accept your strengths and admit to your weakness, explore and utilize your gifts and talent and follow your heart with love for all, you can be your best guide as to what choices you make in your life . That will lead you on a path that is best suited for you.

Choices ….they give life a meaning.If something doesn’t seem right, look for or create something to make it better. Giving up can never be a good choice.You have to risk rejection to go after what you want, you have to risk failure to find success. Learn to cherish not lament, find allies instead of creating enemies and instead of letting negative energy create fears and cripple you, invent and find positive things to fill you with purpose in life.

Don’t Give up….Just give more….that will help you get a meaning to life. What according to you would be the meaning of life?

There are often moments in your life that you never want to relive again – no matter what. It would be easy to just toss them out of your life and never let them enter your life again. Of course, that would be having a perfect life. But it doesn’t work that way, does it?

As the 2010 began, I made few resolutions that I will, inshallah, stick to this year. I wouldn’t say that January is a month of ‘change’ for me as I think we go through change daily and not in particular month. There are a lot of changes I made in 2009. Some happened due to circumstances and others I made myself, for myself. And I’m glad I did. I have been a better person since then. I have not looked back since then and I’m so happy because it’s given me a chance to look at life totally from a different angle.

January is not my favorite month. It’s the month I lost one of my dearest friend few years ago. Moment that I can never forget as I felt I couldn’t do anything to prevent it – though we were miles away. I never want to live through those moments again but life is strange. What we don’t want – happens and what we want – doesn’t. Few days ago, I got a similar message that I had gotten from my late friend. The message read something along the lines of ‘Be Happy always. Pray that God forgives me for my actions. You too, please forgive me.’ My heart skipped a beat. Does this mean that I think it means? Is it a joke to get my attention? All sorts of thoughts were attacking my brain. I just prayed to God at that moment to please not repeat those moments I’ve been trying to forget. It’s been hard enough. Especially because if this happened – it would be considered to be my fault as I’ve been told previously I would be the reason they would end their life.  It’s the worst thing you can say someone to, to give a blame to someone that one will live with.

If the above wasn’t enough, a dearest uncle met with an accident and ended up having brain hemorrhage. He has been in coma for a week now. Even though the brain surgery went Okie, we need him to come out of the coma. Again living my worst moments. Having gone through this multiple times with my best friend – it was déjà vu all over again. It not only came as a shock but it was also the moment I have been telling myself to never go through again. One week and still no response. My heart tells me he will wake up but my mind isn’t too sure. I have seen miracles happen and I have hope that I will live to see another miracle happen. I can’t go through this hell. It scares me every moment because I know the feeling of going through it and just praying for your loved one to wake up. The family is going through that right now. I wish I was there to tell them it’ll all be Okie and that I know what they’re going through.

Why can’t we relive the happy moments over and over instead of the worst ones?