Saanams Mind

Just reading about Shiv Sena and their histronics I just wonder why we , the most evolved of all beings are so stuck up on superficial n silly differences we make between ourselves. I wonder why where we are born or how we pray stops us from thinking about being human beings first …made of flesh n blood like any other human ?Why does being from Madras or Maharashtra become more important than being an Indian?To me its like my hand saying I dont belong to the body … am just a hand. Why cant we be a part of the whole and work collectively towards the best interests of the country and the world as a whole …work towards being good human beings instead of looking at everything through peep holes and with such small minds?

Cant the Shiv Sena work towards removing poverty, illiteracy, hunger and violence and free the country from the humongous problems we are facing instead of making a big issue about sports, about people from other parts of India working in Mumbai etc.

Its a shame that educated and well read people act as if they dont understand what it is all about and go along. I applaud Shah Rukh for speaking his mind out! The people who have vested interests and want to be in the limelite and choosing all the crap reasons for being there , should be dealt with seriously by the Govt and put away or banned for messing the peace of the country and creating disparity in society.

Shouldnt they be seen as the extremists they are disrupting law and order in a country that boasts of Unity in diversity? I feel a firm stand should be taken on minds that work adversely and put a stop to the growth of our country.

I would like to salute not just Shahrukh for speaking up but also applaud the times of India Group for the Aman ki Asha , a brilliant initiative to build bridges rather than break them .

Watch this “Aman Ki Asha ”

Instead of moving forward we seem to have groups like Shiv Sena n the so called Ram Sena creating more issues than mending them. Shame on them , the bullies who think brute force can speak better than education n common sense and resort to that to make themselves heard.

Its really great to protect someone,  looking out for them, making them feel we are always there for them, making sure they do not make mistakes, and if they do cover for them. All of us would have done one or more of this for friends, relatives, people we care about at one point of our life. At the end of it we feel happy. But the question is should we? Lots of places, we get to decide what we do, and we decide based on our support system. Some do it based on the risk factor, some do it on instincts, some do it on advice and some they just do it. None of the above decision making methods can guarantee success, but some more than others have been proven more in the history, and again it boils down to a person’s nature to choose any method.

I have always looked out for people I care, and in many cases gone out of the way to make sure they do not end up making the mistake. But lately I have developed alternate thinking towards it. Lately there has been a lot of change and one is my approach. Recently, I have had some dilemmas, where I felt a dear one was making a mistake. A friend, A relative and A colleague. All three in different facets in my life. I do not want to mention the mistakes, as I do not want to offend them, In fact that was the whole point. As I choose, not to tell them. What I really felt about their decision. I realized, its important to let them make mistakes, they might suffer a problem or two, but it sure makes them learn. All the 3 people involved, I was sure they are mature enough to deal with their mistakes, and am sure they would come out of it more strongly.

Our society is guilty of too much looking out. There are too many people to tell you what to do and what not to. But if the person is not let to learn from the smaller mistakes, what would he do when he gets to face the real problems in life. Relationships, priorities and money all can be a big thing, but till one point of time in life, they can be corrected. But a person learning to fight his own battles, more than that owning up to his mistakes and overcoming it, is a bigger lesson to teach, rather then using the shortcuts and providing them with an answer.

As John F Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country”. As a citizen of our wonderful country that is what each one of us should strive to do… work and contribute towards the betterment of our country, pay taxes without fail, vote for sensible leaders and support when things are right and protest when things are wrong. Keep the country clean, not just in the hygenic sense but also in the sense of keeping the country clean of dirty corrupt politicians and officials who are raping the country of her resources and looting her wealth thus not allowing progress. Support literacy drives and help fellow countrymen as much as you can.

That in the sense is true patriotism to me. Its not about fighting who is a hindu who is a muslim or a christian, who is a brahmin or a shudra, which caste I belong to or which I dont. Its not about taxi drivers speaking in marathi or kannada.Its not about we north indians and you Madrasis. Its not about globalisation or eating burgers or chinese. Its not about which state speaks what n eats what.

I think as a true patriot , one should just look at how you can go the right way, correct the wrong way we have gone , support education and help the less fortunate. Help each fellow countrymen and look at a far peaceful country, build better relationships with our neighbors and collectively strive together towards a more progressive thinking, progressively growing and peaceful country.

A Happy Republic Day to fellow Indians from me . I hope and pray that we move forward hand in hand towards a better understanding of what patriotism is and work towards making India a hub of peace n progressive thinking God bless you all!

This came up in my management class this week and I’ve been thinking about it since. In fact, we all had quite a debate on it. I thought I’d share some of my views about it on the blog here.

Stereotypes. They exist, you can defend yourself against them but can you ever deny them? You broadly classify every person in one of the ‘stereotypical’ groups the minute you see them or the minute you get to know a little about them, even if it’s only by hearsay.

By their very nature stereotypes is a word having a negative connotation. There is no person (and I talk of a reasonable man) who would voluntarily like to be classified. Most of the times people are given a title, a classification even before they can prove their mettle. And the sad part is or the point to be noted here is that most people, once given a ‘stereotypical’ title are unable to remove themselves from them. A jock remains a jock, especially until he finishes high school. He might suddenly develop an interest in theatre, but he will always be known as the guy on the football team dating the cheerleader.

As human beings we are incapable of not mentally categorizing and while this is also necessary at times it is also inescapable. Have you ever wondered that if in the 8^th grade someone had not called you a nerd or a geek you might have gone and tried out for the football team? Or if someone hadn’t not screamed ‘terrorist’ when they found of you were Muslim you might have been a little less rebellious or a little more confident and proud of who you are? (Being a Muslim, I’m very proud regardless of what people have thought of me after 9/11.)

Suddenly labeling someone has become a trend and an important part. What people do not realize is that this same labeling is detrimental to the being of most people. Agreed some people when labeled are more confident, some people are proud of being labeled and some people strive to fall and maintain the stereotype they are in. But I would think that most people do not like being labeled; most people would do better without having the additional pressures and most people long to fit into a different ‘stereotype’.

We often do not like being labeled ourselves but we never shy away from doing the same with another. Have you ever thought whether you shaped the stereotype or whether the same stereotype is responsible for shaping you? Have you ever wondered how the world would be without every blond being treated dumb, without every German being called a Nazi, every Asian being called intelligent, without every Indian being called poor and every Muslim being called a terrorist?

‘Society exists only as a mental concept, in the real world there are only individuals’
- Oscar Wilde

I came across this quote today and couldn’t help but think does a ’society’ really exist? What is really right? What’s wrong? Who decides that? We, as humans are so caught up with what our society thinks that we forget we are also individuals.

From what I’ve always heard, Right is something which is said to be ‘socially correct’. Some others may define right as something that is in conformance with the law and the order of the land. Right has come to be believed as something that the society deems correct, the society agrees with and that with which the societal values coincide. So in short it is thus safe to come to the conclusion that right is something that is accepted by the society and thus can be said to be morally, ethically and socially right. I will come to the part about society in a bit.

Wrong is something which is not in accord with established code of conduct. I think I can also safely say that something that is contrary to the conscience or morality of law. Wrong in simpler words is the exact opposite of right. Here we take wrong in a negative connotation. Now one question that crops up in my mind and I am sure in each of our minds is that when we say a particular thing is ‘right’ while the other is ‘wrong’, why do we say that? Who determines this? Who distinguishes them and why do we take things as acceptable and unacceptable? What makes the human psyche think in such a manner and how ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ really are the things?

Most say it is the society that decides but then comes my above point, who is this ’society’ and how does it decide? Why does the so called ‘society’, assuming such a body exists, decide and differentiate between these things?

I’ve taken sociology in school and am currently taking in college. From what I’ve learned, ‘Society’ is said to be a group of individuals that are primarily characterized by common interests, needs and goals. It is also said to be a totality of all human relationships and organizations. If we take this to be true then it is safe to assume that every living being would be a part of society per se and hence be involved in the decision making process of right and wrong, no? However this is not so since objectively speaking, no individual would do something he himself has christened as wrong. Assuming such a society does decide the right and wrong, what I want to know now is that on what basis is the punishment decided for committing a wrong?

Many times I’ve heard people around me say that humans are born with an innate sense of moral responsibility and a sense of justice, a sense of right and wrong. So..does that mean that some people are more fortunate than others in this gift and thus some go on the ‘right path’ and some on the ‘wrong path’? But then many times what is considered right in some parts/places of the world is considered wrong in the others. What is the reason for that? Does this sense we possess differ so much? Why is say for example abortion or mercy killing legal or ‘right’ in some countries while illegal or ‘wrong’ in the others? (With that said, consider that without thinking about the role that religion plays in my example!)

Many also say that it is the society we live in that grooms us, teaches us and influences our decisions of right and wrong. If that is so does this merely increase our innate sense and give it meaning or does it over write what we were supposed to be born with?

I just want to know is there even a society that exists or is it a fragment of our imagination, something we can blame our faults upon? Does there exist this amalgamation of bodies, of humans, of organizations that decides or is instrumental in the way we think and analyze or are we our own people, merely individuals, who decide for ourselves?

I’ve always believed and practiced that each individual makes their own decisions. I don’t believe in letting the society make decisions for me or influence me to think about what they consider to be ‘Right’ is indeed right. Maybe I’m wrong…but according who? I can honestly say that half the time, I don’t agree with anything our so-called society has to say about anything. I don’t agree with the “dos and donts” of the society. Does that make me a sinner? Does that make me a bad person? Does that mean that society shouldn’t accept me as a human? Or does it sincerely means that I believe in making my own choices and learn from them?

“Superstition is a belief or notion, not based on reason or knowledge. The word is often used basically  to refer to folk beliefs deemed irrational. This leads to some superstitions being called “old wives’ tales”. It is also commonly applied to beliefs and practices surrounding luck, prophecy and spiritual beings, particularly the irrational belief that future events can be influenced or foretold by specific unrelated prior events.`

Friday the 13th being an unlucky day, Spilling salt bringing bad luck, walking under a ladder proving to be unlucky, a cat crossing your way when on a journey making the journey an unfruitful one…all these old wives tales or basically susperstitions that have been carried forward for centuries. They have basically no roots, no proof, no explanations but are handed down generations after generations, just making their presence felt with the blind way people follow them.

In the subcontinent we do have some extremely bizzare superstitions one follows . Recently when the solar eclipse took place , one saw the news channels covering the wierd practice followed in a certain region in India where kids with physical and mental disabilities were buried upto their neck under mud of some holy shrine and  left there for hours together, with the belief that they would be cured. They were not given food  and water and it was heartening to see them crying and howling for water. I was watching the people crowding around the kids and not a single person seemed moved by all the kids plight. I wonder what kind of belief is it where people forget even basic humane qualities and follow them without a thought for children.

Another inhumane superstition a friend  was talking about, spoke of a place where people ask for a child … a mannat…where in one prays to have a baby and when the child is born, the child thrown from about 25 feet height on to a cloth held below . Just imagine the torture the poor child has to undergo just because of the lack of education in the parents. Dont they  sense the danger in the whole act? What if the cloth gives away? The very child they prayed so hard to get may lose its life.

While am a believer in faith, in God doing wonders when faith is strong, I do not believe in  blind faith. Little harmless superstitions like not cutting nails in the night could have had some reason like a fallen piece of nail that goes unnoticed in the evenings can hurt n get infected when stepped on it. Eating curd and jaggery before going to do something auspicious are not that noticable or bad if followed as they form a part of  traditions bequeathed but blind faith that cause harm to another life should be confronted and  stopped as they are inhumane and anything could go wrong with them .

“The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.” and probably when it misses …its too late. As they say “Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy: the mad daughter of a wise mother”.

How many times do we criticise, demean, put down or just plain curse people without a single thought for the feeling human being inside. Without a thought that your anger may damage another person so much that they may just lose that zest for life. We leave them to figure out so many things for themselves, expecting them to make something of our reactions, make some sense of it. We get so judgemental,prejudiced and  hell bent on making that person feel so small, so low we do not leave any room for any consideration or any room for compassion. In other words we allow our words to make them rot in a hell of thoughts without a care for the damage in their psyche.

We are infact a cruel selfish self centred race, most often not able to look beyond ourselves . I sometimes wonder if we stopped just once and put ourselves in another persons shoes , we would be forced to look at things in another way. We could probably undo a lot of the wrongs we do to another person. We probably would be able to help another person grow instead of killing all that is positive in them.

Are we frogs in the well that refuse to see beyond the well? Is our thinking so narrow that we manage to isolate and make sure in this whole wide populated world  those people we criticise or demean find no one who helps them but are left fending for themselves. Maybe that person has another way of thinking, maybe their life’s experiences and circumstances have made them the way they are . Or just maybe …they are the way the are because it suits them to be that way.

We live in an unfeeling cruel and self centred world .One that is prejudiced, judgemental and believes in isolating, ostracizing and breaking people down to feel nothing good about themselves. If I have been a part of any such exercise I hope God forgives me and shows me the right way. If I have been that way I aologise.

To me Life is about learning and doing as much good you can..its about not hurting another intentionally .Its about my faith in God and in some goodness in people, but I do see shades that make me see and feel Life is not all that I see .Life has its cruel shades, its cynical, demoralising and narrow minded side too, one that makes one live like one whose soul has died….The cruel unfeeling world shows this side to everyone sometime or the other…can it ever change?

Australia attacks over Indian students, a scarved  pregnant woman stabbed to death in a courtroom in Germany etc…What is the world coming to???Are we the same so called “CIVILISED” race ??I dont think so.There is a big hue and cry about racism happening in the world with violence reaching unheard of peaks, killings taking place every other day in different parts of the world  over ones race, religion, color etc. So what is Racism??

Racism is the belief that a particular race is superior or inferior to another, that a person’s social and moral traits are predetermined by his or her inborn biological characteristics. Racial separatism is the belief, most of the time based on racism, that different races should remain segregated and apart from one another.It may be defined as the hatred of one person by another — or the belief that another person is less than human — because of skin color, language, customs, place of birth or any factor that supposedly reveals the basic nature of that person. It has influenced wars, slavery, the formation of nations, and legal codes.

Now as we understand racism  we notice that we are raising voices over the attacks abroad and we speak of racism, we are totally blinded by the racism that exists within our own borders. For example in India you find punjabis, madrasis , gujratis etc never indians on the whole…I mean we all belong to one country dammit…You go to North India and you automatically become a Madrasi … well I guess your school didnt teach you the south of India consists of 4 states and each one has a different language.  Forget that… you have divisions in caste, creed, religions, states, language etc etc…Look at it this way we have more boundaries dividing us than holding us together.

So while racism is an issue all over on the whole why dont we try to iron differences within our own countries and stop racism at the grassroot level…respecting a person for the person he is sans all the paraphanelia of color, caste, creed, language and geographical  status…start with baby steps to totally remove this social evil that has basically nurtured violent acts of bloodshed and killings.

I know I am deeply blessed by God.

I am kind of a loud type of person, do things which people feel weird but which are deeply satisfying and important to me as a person. Individualist and creative people are never understood. The problem is that they don’t care about what society thinks about them, a big problem for society because they ride over unnecessary social laws. I push my limits so I can extend my boundaries. I can fit in easily but still I can’t fit in. People still consider me alien or at least not a usual person. I know I am not like others and that is what makes me special and I really cherish that but I hate it when people point out my weaknesses which aren’t that important to be discussed, they are not weaknesses, just a different perspective. I talk aloud, mark my mark and leave people making them think too much. Proud to people, very humble inside and in this mix gets ignored at most of the places.

Everybody wants appreciation for their contribution and its okay and its not a proud freak stuff. Very much modern and liberal, but old fashioned where I need to be. Actually that is what people say is old fashion but in reality it isn’t. I follow Bollywood very closely but don’t get brainwashed. I am one hell of a complicated person who loves to learn and has a childlike enthusiasm. Gets bored with things easily but not relationships. Want to learn everything she finds exciting. Excited by the choice but a victim of choice too. What to do and what not to do when you want to do everything you can do.

With such personality, you know people will bitch and it’s alright completely, still it hurts. I am becoming socially unsocial. Internet, Music and being an Accounting major (because we don’t study as normal people do and we have no campus life whatsoever!) has even made it worse. I am becoming isolated. Music is my passion. Listening to old, sad and depressing songs gives me peace. Makes me think about life and what it really means and the existence of it. I am at the extreme vulnerability of becoming a depressed individual.

And this complex person wants to reach the perfection that humans can achieve, not Godly perfection but humanely yes! I have high expectations for my self. Maybe more than what others expect out of me. I guess much is expected from me. It has always been like I should be first, not in a way that I’d put someone down, but in respect to many other things. Spotlight should be on my humble soul.

I have lost my mind in search in this thinking cum worrying process. I worry a lot about the future and what it holds for me. Will I be the person that society wants me to be? Will I the daughter my parents expect me to be? Will I be the friend that one expects me to be? Planning for the future is okay but I am pushing it too far I guess.

I know you wouldn’t understand much of it. Not even if you read between the lines. I also have to read it again and tried to comprehend.