Saanams Mind

Some songs that touch my heart. Some others that have some old memories attached to them…all of them form a part of me . Just felt like adding them Click on the names if you want to listen to them .

Dil Tadapta hain by Mehndi Hassan Just when I heard this I kind of connected to this one ..somehow I felt that I could relate to the song. The lyrics are just amazing and I feel was written for me Aarzoo this one is for you and me.

U, me aur hum What do I tell you about this one Its really so so special to me & one I will cherish all my life. Shona n Anam this one is for us n will always be ‘ours’. Luv u 224.

Mumma by Kailash Kher Reminds of my sweetheart bachha Shona . She made me so teary with this one so many times .Love her.

Agar Tum na hote I share special memories with Anam on this song.. something just tuggs at my heart when I hear this one.

Aaja Meri Gaadi Heehee this one is for my Maddio bachha .. I still wait for that trip u gonna take me on, in your car. Hope we dont crash anywhere luv u.

Mere naina Sawan- Kishore A lot of memories attached to this one too . Amazing track that chokes me every time I listen to it.

Ghum hei kisike Pyaar mein Another amazing track n one I hold in my heart.

Gum sum Ye Jahan hei- Jagjit Singh A lovely one that Anam n me often shared a liking for . Love u gurl n miss u.

Bas yahi Sochke Just one of those Favs that I listen to often.

Roz Roz Ankhon Tale Special because was the first song sung by Shona for me

Chuimui si tum……….Memories hmm… only they stay with you …

Lean on Me A song I kind of love for the lyrics for that’s what I promise each one of my friends … Lean on me… hmm at times , I wonder if all of them would say the same to me. I know Shona , Anam , Aarzoo , Maddio n Macherie you do ..:)Thank you for being with me .I value what you are to me.

Jag soona soona A state of mind I am often in these days

Anam I could not find Gayee kaam se haye ye ladki for you . I guess there is something about Music that keeps one calm, that bonds, that makes you relate to one another. Music touches one soul and brings about a pure feeling from within . Many more songs , meaning a lot to me have not been added as the list can get endless. Enjoy the ones I have put up!

Time…memories…tears …reminders..

My baby turns 5 today. No longer a lil fellow. Amazing how time flies by. Five years of laughter, tears, memories, pain. new relationships, old ones , some gone forever.As I look at the past five years I wonder about myself. I have changed. Big changes in me , specially the past year. Today a lot of memories came tumbling back in my mind, bringing a small smile on my lips and tears in my eyes. Can that ever go away? The memories???

Five years ago after a pretty tough pregnancy , battling high blood pressure and balancing everything, when my baby came into this world, my smooth as a clock running household that consisted of my elder son and hubby turned topsy turvy. A wailing ,squalling, attention seeking brat who just turned me to mush with his smiles and antics. Sleepless nights, smelly diapers, worry at every sneeze and cough….my world centred all around him. Deciding to be a full stay at home mom, I battled my moments of boredom and filled it with the gurgles of my baby and music. Today when I see him speak and play, learn something new or just smile and hug me…the ‘I love you mama’ makes it worth every moment.

Five years…so many friends, new cousins, nephews, neices and so many new people in my life. Memories attached to each one of them. Some stayed and became closer, while a few were recalled by God. Yet a few more decided to break my heart and walk away leaving me to cope with the shattered pieces around me…trust and faith all in tiny fragments …blinking up and asking me “think you can put it together once again”???

Five years …a smile reminding me of things, words and phrases bringing back some thoughts.But the biggest reminder music…each song specially connected to certain people ….the lyrics connecting me to them. Circumstances changed and a few of them connected to the songs drifted away…..I gave up music completely. They were too painful for me to hear as they always made me weep and think about good times. But I slowly am going back to them now…learning to cope and move on.

Five years…so many moments of laughter with Anam n Shona and many others….the times together bringing such moments of happiness into my heart, a warmth that nothing can take away from me. Special people who I have been blessed with…Precious to me and treasured for a lifetime…No matter what I have that and can time take that away from me ?? No.

Five years … a part of which I spent getting to know some special people in my life…my kids…Anam n Shona .A blessed gift from the one above as they have enriched my life so much more …I thank God for these five years.I would not change it for anything else .

Memories…that are mine alone….unique becoz those who are in that memory have different thoughts about the same incident.Memories, a picture held safe in the photo album of life. Memories of tears, laughter, noisy times, eventful silences, small  snippets of our lives all stored in our mind to be replayed later. Sometimes like deja vu, they come back at a later time to make you feel , I have lived this before. No one, I mean no one can take those away ,can they??

I have always wondered  why sad memories remain fresh in our minds and cling where as happy moments just fade away with time. We have a tendency to hang on to those thoughts that make us sad , keeping the hurt and pain fresh in our minds,  something that went wrong in our lives ,the disappointments we face or that which hurt us and  specially the hurtful actions or words of the ones we care for. They come up unbidden and unprovoked triggering a feeling of sadness in us.

Sometimes memories are all you are left with to hang on to when a loved one is gone. the happy times bringing in a whisper of joy in your dreary world, the memories of laughter, togetherness and happy times giving you a little something to hold on to as your own.Little moments of laughter, the gurgle of your lil baby, the feeling that overwhelms you when you first tell someone you care about them, the sparkle in your beloved’s eye when they catch a glimpse of you after a long time, the feeling of safety and warmth when you are hugged by your mom, the choked emotion you feel when your loved one does something special just for you, the tear that runs down your cheek as someone’s actions touch you, the feeling of pain when you give someone all of you and they rip your heart apart, the feeling of coming home when your loved one’s face breaks into a smile when they see you, the smell of fresh baked stuff, or a perfume used by your mom….all these memories, all just yours ….no one can take it or snatch it away.

When you hold these close to your heart, you realise life actually is such a beautiful journey. When you cherish each special memory, each thought of those who came into your life and made a difference however small , you feel you have been blessed. So hold them close to your heart and keep them safe for they are your treasures to cherish.

“Like the wind crying endlessly through the universe, Time carries away the names and the deeds of conquerors and commoners alike. And all that we are, all that remains, is in the memories of those who cared we came this way for a brief moment”
Harlan Ellison

Memories…our mental ability to store, retain , recall information, Memories or thoughts from our pasts , ones that shape us  to be who we are, thoughts that keep us connected to each other, thoughts that give us an identity, thoughts sometimes which are our only hope to carry on… thoughts that make one who they are. Imagine if one had no memories  the life would be one blank sheet of paper…. nothing on it. While it is ok to forget bad memories what about the good ones??

A friend of mine has to undergo a medical procedure to remove clots from her brain and that means she  is going to lose her memory …. dont know how many years . This is happening for the enth time and sometimes I just wonder why her? why so many times. The trauma of not knowing who she is, where she comes from and what are her roots, the trauma of accepting so many changes that have happened in her life, the trauma of rediscovering truths about circumstances, the trauma of being totally unable to relate and  connect with those around her …I hurt when I think of it all…. No memories… nothing at all.

We attribute so much of  importance to memories… like maintaining a scrapbook, pictures, videos… we cling to them because they give us a sense of belonging .They give us a  sense of who we are and not to have them anymore is such a scary proposition. Not to know who to trust and who is a friend, to be wary of everyone, what a nightmare…After one dies… all they leave behind is memories, what if those memories themselves are not there???? What are we left with then ???
I just ask everyone who peeps in here to just spare a couple of moments and pray for my   friend to get back to a normal life soon .

Have you ever stopped to smell the roses in the middle of your busy bustling life??? You surely would find so much to appreciate and feel happy and smile about around you . A light shower just got the whiff of the damp mud  and I dont know why it brought back so many happy memories of  when I was kid back in my hometown . The smell of the wet earth  is absolutely something I love, so also the thought of the paper boats that I used to float down the streams of water.  Small things that bring a smile on ones face   Well lemme see what just gets that curve up on my lips  …..

A baby’s curiosity and  gurgle of delight , the smell of roses, the breeze in my hair when I ride pillion on the bike … the rain on my face as I love walking in the rain, the sand under my feet as I walk on the beach with the water touching my toes, the smell of freshly baked bread or cake or biscuits …. watching sunset, going for long walks, a drive in the rain, hot pakoras on a rainy day, a hot cup of tea / coffee after a tired days work, a hot water bath after a tired day’s work, a day at a spa from time to time, the luxury of getting your hair washed  in a beauty salon, a perfect moment caught in the camera,  summer showers in the middle of hot summers, the first sip of sugarcane juice, a slice of watermelon in summer, a whiff of my favourite perfume, a hug from my loved ones ,the joy of getting what I have waited so long to get, the adrenaline rush when I have achieved what I sought to achieve, a spoonful of death by choclate ice cream when it is blazing hot outside , the excitement of seeing a new place when I travel, moments spent with special people, laughter shared with friends each day , the pleasure in making someone smile, kidding and teasing cousins/friends when we catch up ,  the happiness on someones face when you have done them a good deed, a lovely romantic song playing …… so on…. so forth…. omg I think I really have so so many things that send a rush of pleasure down me and make me smile and a happy person.

Reading about how attitude can make a person look at life differently, I reaffirmed something today….” Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…. but its all about learning to dance in the rain “  I just am grateful for the so many lil things that bring a smile on my face each day !!!!