Saanams Mind

I have spoken about silence before in some of the earlier entries and as I see it most of us fear the silence and fill it with noise. Oft late I have been contemplating on taking up Vipasana meditation… that is a camp for 10 days where you spend time with yourself and nature, without external interference of noise, music, phones,tv etc and where you dont talk with anyone. Its a way of spending time with just yourself and your thoughts, with nature …being alone. Its a way of just discovering more of yourself and coming to terms with yourself ,your circumstances and your feelings and making peace with them.

Being alone …when we actually find ourselves , it becomes a privilege and not a punishment. All the good work and your concentration comes from when you are alone. All your dreams dreamt when you are alone. Your best ideas come when you are alone,your solutions to all problems, your creations, your thoughts of wanting to make a better world come when you are alone . You see art and hear music better when you are alone.

Its the time when you drop all pretences and are completely true and bare naked with yourself.It is that time when you are in touch with your innerself. A time when you are most receptive to your innerself, a time when you connect to the higher energy that runs the world. A time when you speak to God and when God speaks to you.A place from which you absorb a lot , to fortify your spirit with grace, forgive your ineptness and fills you with a new resolve. A time when in silence, you can find the echo of your true intent.Its the highest place I think I can aspire to be .

Sharing your aloneness takes trust. It means revealing the innermost working of your heart and can expose you to the risk of indifference or the frustration of not being taken too seriously. It means risking the pain of not being heard when you want someone to listen to whats in your heart.It means allowing another ( it can be just one or two and definitely not more) to look into and know you as you are, without any masks, pretensions but as the the person you are ,with yourself. This is the heart of intimacy.Being intimate is being with another as you are with yourself .It means exposing yourself completely .It entails loving yourself and then loving another.

Knowing this is sacred and the risk you take sharing that ‘Sacred aloneness’ is a big risk , more so because if you are rejected for showing your true self because the other did not understand you, or just didn’t care enough to understand, you tend to recoil from the world, feeling your trust is misplaced, broken and the world is just empty or hollow .Though the thought scares me I wonder if I can learn to love being alone. Can I learn to share that aloneness with someone again? Maybe I can work first on learning to love being alone

Does the thought of being alone scare you and would you risk sharing that aloneness with someone?

“The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich.

As I sink into the comfort of a world of silence, I discover another aspect to it. The art of listening. In this world of so much of noise, more often than not we get so uncomfortable when silence engulfs us, we talk or have noise around to break that stillness. Oft late as I made peace with silence,speaking less, the want to air my opinions far far lesser than before, I have also learnt the art of listening. By that I mean really listen.

I first of all listen to my thoughts and listen carefully. Since I am in no hurry to verbalize them, I have time to process them better. I listen to every reasoning they give me, in a way bettering my relationship with myself and my relationship with my God. I listen to my heart, what it tells me, happy feelings, sad ones, memories, I listen to every heartbeat in me and I am on a path of a much improved understanding and relationship with “ME”.

I Listen to others when they talk. I dont just hear them talk, but really listen. To their opinions, thoughts, feelings, specially feelings. I pay attention to every lil detail of what they want to communicate with me and try and understand what they want to say and what they feel. Again listening helping me build a great relationship with them.

Listening has many tiny aspects to it. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree to all the other person is saying, it just means paying complete attention to what the other is saying without being in a hurry to air what you feel about the topic, without wanting to pounce on them with your opinions, without wanting to correct the other persons reasoning specially when you don’t agree with what they say. Would be of no use as the other person may just hear n not ‘listen’ to you anyway. When you are in a hurry to speak your views, you are merely nodding your head whereas your mind is nowhere listening to whats being said, its busy forming sentences to say what you want to.

A Good listener is generally smart. By listening, really listening, you learn so much more. You just have to listen in quiet n sincere silence… in your mind as well. You don’t have to persuade the one talking… you just have to understand what they want to say. If you don’t, ask them, to explain it , without giving your opinion about it .

As you go along the art of listening teaches you to hear unsaid things, those which are deep within without the words. The unspoken thoughts, those which have not been spoken aloud and when you hear them tell the other person what you heard and understood. Then there will be ‘quiet’ for the other person will ‘listen’ to what you ‘heard’.

Listen because there is nothing quite like being really ‘heard’.“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.” Sue Patton Thoele……

I have found peace in listening as much as I have found in silence. What do you think listening is all about and do you feel listening helps???

Silence…… The walls closing in over me……silence…..but what is the mayhem all about??  Thoughts clambering all over one other to get me to take notice of them, the din they create in my head almost making me want to shut my ears out to them. What.. when.. how.. why…will it be ok… should I…could I… it will…May be..should have been…The words spinning relentlessless in my mind, creating thoughts that rule my mind  right now…their resounding noise and echoes making me restless.Constantly they process all that has happened, what is happening and what may happen tomorrow. I open my eyes, yes am all alone, but the noise doesn’t cease.

Some times I wonder  I seek silence but why is silence not seeking me? Sometimes I hide behind the noise and hustle bustle of everyday  noise ,is it just so that I dont face my thoughts? Keeping busy, music, exercise ,work…. the body moves and works but the mind…it lives in its own world, thoughts …present, past , future….words, memories, ideas, plans, dreams,facts…they relentlessly work on thier own totally disjointed from the actions of my body.

I wonder at the people who say they want to go far away. You want to go far away from what? The scene may change but your thoughts and your mind, your feelings they are a package deal, they  come along with you  where ever they go. Is there an escape from them? They remain with you no matter what.

Our thoughts, our beliefs, our mind….they decide what attitude we need to adopt in our life. Though we do not have complete control of what we think, we do have control on which thought can influence our behaviour. Often we wonder how God answers our prayers and wishes or sorts our confusions. God communicates through our thoughts and conscience. Sometimes in our lives, something within gives us direction as to what is right  and what is wrong….I believe that something is the voice of God telling us go on…take this path…this will be the right thing to do.

Silence helps regulate these thoughts. Silence can be painful when you hurt, as there is nothing that stops the thoughts from reminding you what is hurting you. Silence can be healing as thoughts can help you come to terms with what is happening around. Silence and Introspection gives one time to look at ourselves and see where and how we can change ourselves to be better humans. Silence and meditation can help you grow spiritually as you make peace between your mind, body and soul.

Are we real comfortable with silence? Why does it make some uncomfortable? I guess when you have time to yourself  you face up to your thoughts, no barriers , no lies to hide behind, The stark truth of who you are stares back at you and  sometimes the way you behave doesnt quite match up to who you really are and that conflict may make some run from silence and from themselves.But I feel silence speaks volumes and  one should learn from it.

Anam said something that made sense to me, she says its all because of society, how they pressurise you to be in a certain way and  behave in a certain way. They dictate on how one should be and that may be in opposition to what your mind maybe telling you. So the conflict in how you behave and what you believe, your actions and thoughts  creates a confusion that may make it difficult for one to face up to their thoughts in silence. Could be in a way true .Because silence makes you aware of who YOU are.

As Confucius said  “Silence is the true friend that never betrays.”

Silence heals but it also kills. A dear bro told me this and as  I thought over this I realised there was a lot of truth in this sentence. Isnt communication the key to solving so many  issues in any relationship, be it verbal or  non verbal? It overcomes so many obstacles because it stops the other person from making assumptions and  making up their own mind about things.

Each day when we wake up, we get up to some new thoughts, new actions, circumstances that are new. In each one of these there is a form of communication… a way to reach out and speak what is in our minds.So does communication help even if  we are depressed , troubled and keep ourselves quiet for fear of being misinterpreted, disliked, unhappy, uncomfortable or just more withdrawn from others? Some would agree some would  not.I would say its good to shut up sometimes . Specially when you know your words can cause a lot of havoc and hurt and its better to keep quiet and keep your thoughts to yourself, but sometimes letting the other know what bothers you may even help the relationship strengthen.

Good communication can move mountains and a lack of it may break relationships.More often we see long lasting relationships dont need  words, just a few actions may  speak  so much more than words. But we also see that a communication breakdown can break up many relationships as well , for a lack of communication stops the other person from relating to you and there is a gradual shut down of the understanding between the two and  this can cause a rift in relationships.

Communication can be very powerful as we do see that some words can be a ‘life altering’ experience for many. Your words may make someone change their attitude or way of looking at life and so may do a lot of good as well.It may give someone a sense of hope, a ray of sunlight in a dark tunnel that may change the way they live.

So Good Communication or communicating is an important aspect of relationships for they can make them, break them or just help manage them. Words are a powerful tool and should be used very careful. A lack of words are as powerful as they can make or break relationships, so they can heal or kill it. Communication can truly have an impact as to whether a situation is overcome or not, thus creating the opportunity for communication to be able to have such a power, such a strength and faith that a mountain of strife can be overcome and dealt with, no matter what.At the same time sometimes silence is the best way out when you feel words can cause more damage.

The right way would be to use both effectively and the right place as they can have some big  life altering effects on relationships.

Shhhh……shhhh…..shhhhh….. quiet ….. do you hear that ??? The beautiful sounds of……. Silence ???

They say silence does for your mind what sleep does to your body…. relaxes, strengthens and helps grow. But how many of us today run from silence just because most are afraid of silence. So much so that given a moment of silence we turn the Tv on or switch on the music or just move in to where there are people around.

For me a few moments of silence to myself is what I look forward to each day. With two kids running around the house all day, being noisy, I find silence a rarity and look forward to the few moments I snatch to myself after everyone leaves home in the mornings.I find it therapeutic, a time I can get in touch with my self and innermost thoughts, helps me keep my calm and delve into my deepest feelings . Absolutely doing nothing,no noise, no Tv, no music no people, just ‘being’ .Me and my thoughts all by ourselves….making peace with myself. I find it emotionally strengthening and cleansing.I find my creativity blossoming.

I had been to a meditation camp years ago when I was going through some tough moments of my life and I remember what scared me the most the first few days. It was in an ashram away from the city,in complete isolation, no communication with the outside world, no phones no Tv, no music. Just me and a few basic necessities . Nature and a few animals and a few people, also to do the same excercise as I was doing. The first two days were so miserable because I had to come to terms with a lot of issues working on my mind. There was no where to run to, no where for me to hide from my thoughts which were extremely unpleasant as I was dealing with one the worst phases in my life. It took me two days of extreme frustration, tears, anger , sadness and some happy feelings to accept and learn to make peace with silence. It took me the whole duration of the camp to accept the person I was and look within me to recognise my strengths and weakness.I learnt to make peace with myself and accept myself, faults, mistakes and all.

Why are we afraid of silence? I guess its the thought of facing our thoughts that makes us afraid of being alone in silence. One finds that often a person who has accepted himself, one who is at total peace with himself is someone who is not afraid of silence.In our everyday life we face up to so much noise, roads are noisy, people are noisy, Tv is on most of the time and we have so much of a sensory overload that our we are exhausted mentally. I guess ultimately one has to seek silence by discovering the power of oneself and looking within oneself to make peace with who you are .

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