Saanams Mind

Time…memories…tears …reminders..

My baby turns 5 today. No longer a lil fellow. Amazing how time flies by. Five years of laughter, tears, memories, pain. new relationships, old ones , some gone forever.As I look at the past five years I wonder about myself. I have changed. Big changes in me , specially the past year. Today a lot of memories came tumbling back in my mind, bringing a small smile on my lips and tears in my eyes. Can that ever go away? The memories???

Five years ago after a pretty tough pregnancy , battling high blood pressure and balancing everything, when my baby came into this world, my smooth as a clock running household that consisted of my elder son and hubby turned topsy turvy. A wailing ,squalling, attention seeking brat who just turned me to mush with his smiles and antics. Sleepless nights, smelly diapers, worry at every sneeze and cough….my world centred all around him. Deciding to be a full stay at home mom, I battled my moments of boredom and filled it with the gurgles of my baby and music. Today when I see him speak and play, learn something new or just smile and hug me…the ‘I love you mama’ makes it worth every moment.

Five years…so many friends, new cousins, nephews, neices and so many new people in my life. Memories attached to each one of them. Some stayed and became closer, while a few were recalled by God. Yet a few more decided to break my heart and walk away leaving me to cope with the shattered pieces around me…trust and faith all in tiny fragments …blinking up and asking me “think you can put it together once again”???

Five years …a smile reminding me of things, words and phrases bringing back some thoughts.But the biggest reminder music…each song specially connected to certain people ….the lyrics connecting me to them. Circumstances changed and a few of them connected to the songs drifted away…..I gave up music completely. They were too painful for me to hear as they always made me weep and think about good times. But I slowly am going back to them now…learning to cope and move on.

Five years…so many moments of laughter with Anam n Shona and many others….the times together bringing such moments of happiness into my heart, a warmth that nothing can take away from me. Special people who I have been blessed with…Precious to me and treasured for a lifetime…No matter what I have that and can time take that away from me ?? No.

Five years … a part of which I spent getting to know some special people in my life…my kids…Anam n Shona .A blessed gift from the one above as they have enriched my life so much more …I thank God for these five years.I would not change it for anything else .

Note: Got this in an email a while back. Something made me think about it and read it over and over. Fits perfectly with my life right now. God Bless.

To realize
The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn’t have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam!

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE.

How important do you think developing and nurturing relationships are? I  mean do you consider relationship building productive or an useless exercise ?? I was having an discussion with a friend and he was telling me the importance of relatonship building, not just to enhance our personal lives but for the professional lives as well. He impressed on me the need to build personal relationships with clients so as to develop that bond that makes the client choose you as  someone to make business with and to build loyalty towards your business.For example …it is recession time here but our family business was hardly hit by it because we built a good relationship with our clients and the loyalty they had towards us made them continue with us as their vendors and not pull out… yes both made a few compromises but hey , in the end the relationship stayed.

Isnt that the truth, relationships make or break you. A person with bad interpersonal skills and bad communications, two definite skills needed for relationship building, will not be able to achieve as much a person who develops these two skills. A call on a birthday, festival  or just a few minutes spent asking someone about their well being or family creates a kind of a bond where one feels that the person is taking an additional interest to get to know the person behind the name. That in turn draws that person towards you automatically.

Being a part of a huge but close knit family I realise the value of relationships as they are taken very seriously where I come from and  we are taught the rights and wrongs in nurturing them right from an young age.  I have seen how the family rallies around each other every time there is a personal crisis or death, how each one goes that extra mile to help another to tide over the bad times. If some one loses his job, the others are always on the look out to help him find another other … all this because there is a relationship, strong and steady built over the years.

In this fast paced life things have changed so fast that in our race to keep up we often find we have no time to nurture relationships. Its considered a waste of time or ignored for the lack of time. The trick is to make time . Reorganise your thinking and  reorganise a few things about the way you operate to just take a few moments everyday to show some one they are an important part of your life and  you consider them important enough to make a little time for them. To show that you care enough to think about them .Believe me it goes a long way in keeping the relationship going .Be it personal or professional.

An aunt was diagonised with cancer of the cervix a couple of months back and she already was in the second stage when she went for the checkup. The sad part of it was she kept postponing going to the doctor just because of the fear of what they may diagonise. If she was careful and had seen her symptoms earlier she should have gone and seen a doctor earlier, thus preventing the cancer from spreading . What actually makes us postpone most things for a later time? Procrastinating in such urgent issues can cost your life and why does one do it?

We generally put things off, those which we dont enjoy doing for a later time  One should be worried if its something that affects your life bigtime . A medical checkup when symptoms turn up can save your life if its something like cancer .Makes me wonder why we dont do things till they are too late,not just regarding our health but in general, we put off doing things. Sometimes we never get a chance to make good the damage once its done so why wait for things to go bad before you take that one step that can change a lot of things?

Dont you think things done at the correct time can not just save you plenty of headaches .It can help you handle and organise yourself better when you finish things on time. It gives you a lot of time to review and handle things better , it gives you a better frame of mind to plan things and to take time to do a task well.

I guess we procastinate for many reasons, sometimes fear, sometimes because we are scared of the outcome, sometimes we strive for perfection, sometimes we just prioritise what is important to us and sometimes we just get plain lazy. Whatever it is when it is something pertaining to our health, we have to be careful because health once lost is gone for ever… so I would say, medical checkups are definitely somethings we cannot procastinate about and we need to take care of our health from time to time because there is no time better than right now in certain matters.

“Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.” For “There is no time like the present ” So do it right now !

“Real Love is a conscious choice made with your head, confirmed by your heart and executed by your person. Every act of love is an act of choice.”

Read this in the ‘Signature’ part of an email I got. I think I disagree with this statement.

Every act of choice is an act of love otherwise we would not choose in the first place. I choose something because I love it and without love I would never choose something. If we choose something which we don’t love, it would not be termed as choice it’s something which is forced. If you choose something because time/situation demands it, then again it’s not a choice; it’s a settlement or an agreement

When you choose something when time demands it, it’s a sort of an agreement you go into and not a choice, you settle for something rather choose it. If we have too many agreements/settlements in our life, it would mean that you are giving into lot of demands, and then it means it’s time to look back.

If we do not have any option then go with it…but then maybe I would not call it a choice . Well I would call it Life. I’ve always believed we don’t get to choose everything in life, and sometimes it works out for the good…so when it really gives us a choice then why not go and make the best use of it, go and choose the things we love? What if we have nothing which we love in front of us, then we must go in search of it, or may be hold on a little we never know what we love. I mean I think no one really knows until one actually feels it.

What if we really don’t have time to find what we love? Maybe that’s the thing we are doing wrong, always thinking about time, maybe we should let time do its work, and us ours.

What if I neither have faith in myself or on time? I think we ought to, faith is the basis of life forms, faith on anything we consider…if nothing then just believe in faith, anything you trust, anyone you want to trust.

What if you do not get a sense of trust in things we see; does trust lead to compromise? I guess then we should not see, and trust does not lead to compromise, rather it opens you up, it opens you up for the world and the world includes us.

What if we wonder will the world be bothered whether I am opening up or not? What if they want me in closed? I guess world wants us to open up and loves it that way.

You know, when we close the doors it’s our rooms which end up darker and not the world.

Maybe I’m not making any sense or maybe I’m trying to understand the feelings I’m going through at the moment. Life…it truly knows how to bring us to a point where it’s up to us as humans to decide what we want.